Cassie Gonzales

This story is told in two perspectives, that of Lucas, the closet autistic, popular boy, and Jeremy, the first year in transition at high school where he once was the most popular cheerleader. The story isn’t just about Jeremy‘s transition. This story would be a lovers-to-enemies-to-lovers trope. And it’s OK. There are times where it’s really hard to like Jeremy. Jeremy is angry all the time. They constantly want to seek out revenge and do psychological harm to Lucas for an offense Lucas didn’t know took place. Lucas was in his own world. Dealing with the death of his older, considered perfect brother. This book is the competition between the two to become homecoming king. They go to an elite school for people with money. Besides Jeremy not being the most likable character, I find this book is way too long. Over 9 1/2 hours. The audiobook has points where it just drags and one wonders “is this over yet”. Lucas isn’t a bad character. He’s confident on the outside, but not on the inside. Both of them make stupid decisions throughout the book which could be very typical of high school, and this is a YA novel. However, all of that together makes this a messy book that while one does enjoy it they were also ready for it to end.… (plus d'informations)

these characters are so annoying and constantly made me roll my eyes, but i somehow kept wanting to pick it back up when i'd put it down. jeremy in particular was selfish and awful and he didn't make me want to root for him. i understand that he was just protecting himself and throwing up a wall around himself to do that, but there are ways to write that while still making a reader care about a character, and that didn't really happen in this book. he was so angry all the time, and when people asked for explanations about things - if you dump someone with no explanation after years of dating and longer of serious friendship, and they ask why and try to understand, the proper response isn't to blow up in anger and say it's none of their business - he just got more and more angry. it's not fair to be mad at people for wanting to understand, and his character arc never really addressed this. (still, he had the more satisfying character arc in the book. but to not understand this is a fundamental character flaw that makes it hard to care about him as a main character.)

i do really appreciate that there's a main character trans boy who is unapologetic and that while he experienced some misgendering and bullying by the foils in the story, otherwise everyone really was right on board with switching from knowing him as a girl to accepting him as jeremy. i'm sure that reading that will feel good to a lot of people.

i needed more introspection on sexuality from lukas. that didn't feel true at all, that he'd just say "maybe i'm gay" and that's it. i understand that this isn't a book about his sexuality, but i don't think that is how cis partners of transitioning people understand or approach their sexuality.

this takes place in the county i went to high school in (one of the rival schools they play in football would have been mine, except that the author made up the name) and i don't recognize the atmosphere they created here at all. but then it's been a long time. still, the big deal made of homecoming king and queen - that it helps you get into college??? - felt so foreign to me and like something out of the 50's, not today. i certainly don't recognize it from my experience, even 30 years ago.

maybe it was more "teenager-y" than most of the ya books i read, but this one felt more juvenile and annoying and less relatable than most i've read before. i didn't really like it but i'm glad the representation is out there and that we're seeing more books like this. i also hope that this author writes more because i see potential for really strong work and voice (and even as i didn't like this, i wanted to keep reading); this was just underdeveloped.… (plus d'informations)