Madelyn Cain

This book is composed primarily of interview snippets held together in thematic chapters. What I found most interesting is how the way so many childless (or childfree, depending on what part of the book one is reading) women report being treated completely falls into line with my own experience.

Published in 2001, this book posits hope that women who do not have children will someday quit being looked at askance by society. Unfortunately, I don't think much has changed. I know things are better than they were in decades further past, but we've still not reached a point in civilization where women without children are accepted.

In my 20s I was alternately dismissed or judged as foolhardy for saying I did not want children. In my 30s, I've mostly been judged negatively when the topic of my childlessness comes up in conversation with strangers (who have absolutely no hesitation inquiring about my future plans for my uterus).

With reading Cain's book, I'm advised that by the time I hit my 40s I will primarily be an object of pity. Oh goody, I can hardly wait.… (plus d'informations)

This book made me think differently about childlessness in our society. A lot of our behavior is really insensitive toward individuals faced with infertility. I read this because I'm pretty sure I don't want children, and I liked learning about other women who feel the same. It's nice to know I'm not alone in feeling so much pressure from our society to reproduce or bend to the will of parents trying to turn the metropolis where I live into a giant playground. It was great to learn that there isn't any correlation between not having children and feeling alone/remorseful in old age. I loved all the interviews with 'childfree' women (women who don't have children by choice.)
However, it's the section on women who are 'childless' (women who want a child and can't have one) that offers the freshest perspective. Aside from the implications equating womanhood with motherhood has for feminism and women who don't want children, it also has an enormous effect on women with fertility problems. Our society fetishizes motherhood, and I didn't realize how harmful this is to women who are still mourning the child they so desperately want. There was one interview in which an infertile woman described a church service she attended on Mother's Day. Not only were all the mothers asked to stand and applauded, but they were given flowers and thanked for doing the most important work of all. I can't imagine!… (plus d'informations)

This book categorizes childless women (intentionally and unintentionally childless), and explores the different motivations, emotions, and stresses for women faced with the monumental decision of whether or not to have children. Sadly, I found this book to be innovative, as I have not seen any other books address this issue in a meaningful way. The book has something for all women, whether you have children, want children, don't ever want children, or are unable to have children. It would be a fantastic book for men to read--if you could ever get a man to read it.Seeing all of the different perspectives was affirming and helped me have empathy for other women at this stage of our lives. What a challenging decision we all have to make. Or the decision will be made for us. Honestly, the book is a little unsettling in that it forces the reader to address the children question in her own life. Definitely food for thought.… (plus d'informations)