Jamie SuzanneCritiques

This book terrified me as a child. Yet, I couldn't stay away, and reread it all the time.

Oh, the drama! This one was a favorite in my family.

This was one of those books I read over and over as a kid. I loved the magic!

Once again, we find out that Liz is just as capable of devious, underhanded behaviour as Jess is - it's just that Liz tends to end up struck by conscience, whereas Jessica doesn't really have one ;)

[Re-read. Previously read a couple of times.]

I will happily overlook all manner of unrealistic things when it comes to Sweet Valley. I will nod and accept the fact that people still love Jessica, despite her constant scheming (because, hey, I love her too) and take it in my stride that people consider Elizabeth popular and kind, instead of boring and holier-than-though. But I just can't take the complete and utter ridiculousness of this book. Not only is it extremely impossible, but it also sends a really dangerous message to kids.

Okay, so the story. We've met Mary Giaccio here and there before as one of the just-a-name Unicorns. But suddenly she's always at the Wakefield house, which is helped by the fact that she lives with her foster parents, just up the road. Jess quickly realises that Mary is more interested in spending time with Alice than she is with Jess or Elizabeth and gets totally creeped out by the fact. I don't entirely blame her. It's weird if your thirteen-year-old friend comes over so she can wash dishes.

Eventually Jess puts her foot down and stops letting Mary invite herself over... so Mary moves on to Elizabeth. At first Liz doesn't see what Jess is on about, but then eventually even she can't help but notice that the twins are totes being used to get at their mother. And so the house becomes a No Mary Zone.

(At this point, I can't help but think that this would've been a much cooler book if it turned out that Mary had a big ol' crush on Alice. After all, we're always being told how hot she is.)

Eventually Jess and Mary reconcile (largely because Jess realises she needs Mary's help typing up the celebrity cookbook the Unicorns are putting together). The side plot of this one is that Liz and Co have submitted The Sweet Valley Sixers to a school newspaper competition. Only Jess manages to spill grape juice all over the ditto master—can't you just smell the spirits reading that?—and decides to rewrite Liz's story about career week herself.

Later that night, she overhears Ned and Alice talking about how Mary's foster parents want to adopt her, so she decides to add that piece of good news to Caroline's gossip column as well.

Of course, Liz is way less than pleased when she discovers that Jess's typo-ridden article has been published under her name. Mary's not happy either, because she doesn't want to be adopted by her foster parents, because she's still holding out hope that her mother will come and find her.

Turns out that Mary's in care because her mother went away to take care of her sick grandmother, leaving her with a friend, Annie. Annie told her that her mother had died, moved them both to California, and then just left one day and never came back. Mary doesn't want to be adopted because she just knows that her mother's out there looking for her and that, one day, they'll be reunited.

So we all know what happens next, right?

Liz is in the playground after school and thinks she sees her mother. Only, it turns out that it isn't Alice, but just someone who looks like she could be Alice's sister. The stranger asks Liz about Mary and asks Liz to take her to see Mary at her house. Now, here's what I was talking about in the first paragraph: Liz agrees, because obviously this strange woman must know Mary, even though her story is extremely shifty. So Liz—a twelve-year-old—wanders off with a complete stranger, just because that stranger knew the name of her friend. WELCOME TO SWEET VALLEY. And Liz is meant to be the smart one.

Anyway, she takes the woman to Mary and then of course the woman turns out to be Mary's mother, who's been looking for her forever. And somehow despite the fact that the authorities know Mary's story and it is quite obvious that Mary's mother's story would be matched up to it immediately, it actually took Annie getting arrested for everything to be resolved, because Mary's name is really Robinson, not Giaccio and apparently she totally forgot her real name in the short time she was with Annie (riiiight) and the police didn't bother looking for her real mother once they heard Mary's story.

So ultimately this is a tale of gross incompetence in the police and social services departments of two states. Or, yanno, just plain implausible. Anyway, there's the required happy ending and of course Mary goes straight back to living with her mother without any longwinded process of finding the mother a fit parent etc etc etc.

(Oh, and Liz realises that her original article was boring and that maybe she's not the only person in the universe who can write, so edits it so that it includes part of Jessica's version as well. The Sixers wins the contest, of course, because this is Sweet Valley.)

I feel like it's too early in my re-read to call it, but I am pretty damn certain that this is my least liked Sweet Valley Twins book. It just drives me way too crazy trying to deal with the utter NOPE of its plot.

Moral of the Story? Foster kids always get the happy endings they dream of.

[Re-read]

Mary has far too many surnames over the course of these books. It's really very greedy of her.

Anyway, in this one Mary is jealous of her new step father, which is fairly understandable, given that she's only recently been reunited with her mother. Less understandable is her being ashamed of his being a carpenter and lying to all her friends that he's actually a super-rich architect.

It's all very predictable, but nonetheless fun.

Apparently missing one class is extremely naughty. I guess they're only in sixth grade. It seems a bit much that Liz also 'plays hooky' but gets all the basketball credit and to have dinner with the celeb. But that is how these books work.

Once again, Jessica's wild imagination takes wing. She really should be the writer, not Elizabeth! This is one of those books where the issue could be sold pretty much immediately with proper communication, so it's a bit frustrating when that doesn't happen.

This is an extremely difficult book to read because it's full of terrible bullying and doesn't even resolve the bullying storyline in a satisfying manner.

All the kids in Sweet Valley know that the Mercandy house is haunted and Mrs Mercandy is a witch. So when Elizabeth and Jessica discover that a girl their age has moved in, they assume that she must be a witch as well.

When Nora Mercandy starts attending school at Sweet Valley Middle School, however, Elizabeth begrudgingly offers to show her around, and soon realises that Nora is just a normal girl—one she genuinely likes.

The Unicorns are not as easily persuaded. Lila in particular has a real vendetta against Nora after Nora is foolish enough to beat Lila in a game of tennis. She gives Nora an expensive pen as a reward for winning their bet about the tennis match, and then promptly accuses Nora of stealing it.

Nora, unaware of the extent of the rumours about the Mercandy house, invites Elizabeth, Amy and the Unicorns over so that she can introduce them to her grandmother and hopefully stop the bullying. Oh yeah, and the reason she's living with her grandparents? Her mother has just died, leaving her an orphan. Just the kind of kid who needs to be dealing with revolting peers right now.

Nora's schoolmates turn up, but before her grandmother can make an appearance, a stiff, shuffling man appears and scares the lot of them away. Because bad speech and awkward gait always indicate a zombie, amiright?

Things get worse for Nora. The Unicorns make her into their slave, threatening that they'll plant Lila's wallet in her locker and dob her in if she doesn't do their bidding at all times. And then suddenly all the bullying stops and they start being sweet as punch to her. Obviously it's a trap, but Nora's just so relieved that they're not making her go on cookie runs any more that she goes along with it.

Turns out they just want her at Lila's halloween party so the boys can completely trash the Mercandy house without Nora being there. She discovers their true intentions and runs home, with the entire party following, for some reason. They even all barge right into the house, because what's a little trespassing to add to all the bullying?

Inside, everything is covered in magician posters and they learn that Nora's grandfather used to be a super famous magician, but suffered a stroke ten years ago, meaning that now he is partially paralysed and has trouble speaking. Oh hey, not a zombie after all! Everyone decides that Nora and the Mercandys are actually really cool.

And, for some reason, the Mercandys are fine with that.

See, this is the big issue with this book, and the reason it's really not one of my favourite SVT books. The kids are absolutely horrible to a girl who has recently been orphaned and to two elderly people who are poor and struggling with major disability. They are complete monsters. And somehow they don't get punished for their bad deeds at all. No one tells them that they're pathologically cruel—they don't hate Nora any more, so that's the important thing, right? Ugh.

The Sweet Valley books usually feel a need to punish Jessica for the smallest things, but when really nasty stuff goes on, like it does in this book, it's just shrugged off. Uncool.

Lila's my favourite character, but even I can't stand her in this one.

Moral of the Story? Bullies will get off scot free.

[re-read - previously read a couple of times]

I remember re-reading this one a few times as it was quite entertaining!

Okay, Jess gets a bad rap on the cover blurb for this one. It makes her sound downright evil, when in the book she's mostly just extremely upset about her mother. She does ONE THING bad, and that's only after she knows her mother's okay, and it's more a sin of omission than her being super devious. Which she can absolutely be, but not so much in this book.

Loved this book series when I was young! Hard to rate the books, but I remember them with so much joy that at least 4 stars are they worth even though I probably wouldn't appreciate them now as much as I did when I was a teen.

The first of this year's nostalgic Halloween read-a-longs with Impy. Last year, we read SVT #96-#100, and boy, was that a disappointment. This book, on the other hand, was a grand slam, hit outta the park.

The plot is exactly what it says on the tin: Elizabeth finds a mysterious, ghoulish mask and starts wearing it around the house. Her personality deteriorates at a rather amazing clip, until she's a horribly mean human being - even worse, Jessica thinks, than she is on her "bad" days 😂 Jessica becomes concerned about her twin, especially after Elizabeth starts acting like a horrible bitch even when not wearing the mask. She realizes that it's up to her to save Elizabeth from doing something truly horrendous during the lunar eclipse on Halloween night.

The ghostwriter gets major points for the following:
(1) Steven is not an asshole, and is in fact rather helpful in the climax of the story
(2) Jessica's amazing self-awareness, at age 12, of her own sociopathy
(3) the inclusion of Betsy Martin as a major player in the second half of the story
(4) sticking the landing - unlike last year's miniseries, this one sticks with its supernatural elements, with the bonus of a rather ambiguous ending (did the previous owner of the mask live or die after killing her family?)
(5) THAT COVER OMG

Sweet Valley logic still abounds - witness Steven's astronomy teacher claiming that blood moons don't exist - but there's enough meta here to make up for it. I, for one, appreciate the nods to classic SVH and SVT canon, which are quite rare in the latter part of a series. Reading this makes me want to re-read SVT #3 The Haunted House based on that nostalgia factor alone.

I am really, really not a fan of this trope - you know, someone gets hit on the head, or just has a really vivid dream, and the whole story is actually not taking place at all. I didn't like it as a kid, either, so it's not just my age.

The Wakefield twins are so amazing that they can even star in national singing competitions now! The thing that bugs me the most about this book is not that it's completely unrealistic (it really is - there's a bona fide spy to catch) but rather that the ghost writer chose to put Ellen into the choir instead of Lila, when Lila is the one who's the choir's star soprano in Sweet Valley High. The little things bug me a lot.

One book after Amy swears to Elizabeth that they'll be friends forever after treating her like dirt for most of the book... Amy treats Elizabeth like dirt for most of the book. Honestly, the girl has severe jealousy issues. Of course Liz is closer to Jess; that's only said in, what, every book ever? Anyway, Amy's sulk is far less annoying than the stupid 'secret' language this book is about, which is even worse to read than Pig Latin, and all over this. Worst of all, however, is stupid Ned Wakefield, who makes his daughters keep such a ridiculous, pointless secret, even from Alice and Steven, and who tells Jess she was wrong to explain the language to Lila, even after all of the twins' friends ostracise them for the most useless secret ever.

The really interesting thing about Sweet Valley books (okay, one of them) is the way that male violence is so normalised. Like, as soon as Dylan wins the essay contest, everyone completely forgets about the fact that he attempted to beat up his brother in the middle of the caf. I dunno. Dylan is such a creep in this.

I really struggle with all forms of injustice, including in fictional form. That means that I find this an extremely difficult book to read. But yet I have done so multiple times, because I am a masochist with an unhealthy love for Sweet Valley.

In the first book of the series, Elizabeth and Jessica start taking ballet classes. Jess immediately gets on Madame André's bad side by dressing fit for the Xanadu ensemble, leading to their teacher loving and praising every little thing that Elizabeth does, while ignoring Jessica completely.

It hasn't improved by the start of Teacher's Pet, and it's about to get even worse. Madame André announces that the class will be taking part in a ballet recital, and they're going to perform the ballet Coppelia. They're a beginner's class, but sure. We can run with that.

Naturally, Jessica wants to play the lead, Swanilda. Although Elizabeth's the teacher's pet, Jess is certain that Madame André will have to realise that Jess is easily the best dancer in the class, and the obvious choice for the role. The Unicorns are just as certain, because Jessica's the only Unicorn in the ballet class, so who else could play the lead?

Audition day rolls around, and just after Liz and Alice head off to do some shopping, Madame André calls to let them know that the audition time as been pushed forward. Jessica contemplates heading to the audition without letting Elizabeth know about it, but her conscience gets the better of her and she leaves a note, all the while hoping that Liz won't get home in time to find it. After all, if Elizabeth doesn't audition, she can't get the lead role!

Of course, Liz turns up just in time and, very predictably, is given the lead. Even more telling is the fact that Jess isn't given any of the minor solos either, despite those girls giving auditions far worse than her own. Jessica is upset due to the injustice of it all, and Elizabeth is upset because Jessica isn't happy for her (and because Amy blabbed about Jess suggesting that Liz may not have turned up because she couldn't be bothered—oops!). The twins give each other the silent treatment for days.

Throughout all this, their parents are firmly on Elizabeth's side. Remember all that stuff I said about Alice demonstrating good parenting in book one? Not here. At no point does she (or Ned) actually sit down and hear Jessica's point of view. Okay, so most of the time Jess is in the wrong. But this time she isn't! INJUSTICE!

Finally, Jessica sees Elizabeth practising her solo, complete with multiple errors, and feels sorry enough for her that she pushes aside her angst for long enough to show Liz how to do the necessary moves. Elizabeth realises that Jessica really has been the better dancer all along, and starts plotting.

On the night of the recital, she pretends to twist her ankle, meaning that Jessica has to go on in her place. Madame André raves about the amazing performance and about how talented Elizabeth is, the Wakefields point out that it was actually Jessica, and Madame André immediately sees the error of her ways and is greatly apologetic.

Everything works out in the end (this is a kids' book, after all), but wow is it painful getting to that ending. No one will believe Jess and she's actually telling the truth this time. (It's rare, but it sometimes happens.) Worse still, she's the one who desperately loves dancing; Liz is more interested in her newspaper.

I HAVE FEELINGS, OKAY.

Begrudgingly, I have to say that this is one of the best SVT books, simply because it makes me feel so much. Even if it's bad feels.

I would look forward to wiping them away with book three, but that one has bad feels too. The trials of loving Sweet Valley.


Moral of the Story? Justice will be served.

[re-read. previously read around 3 times]

The front cover makes this look like the 'left behind' refers to a girl who isn't growing up as quickly as the other kids. Instead it's about a horrible step-mother-to-be and a really dim father who is presumably blinded by the fact that he's dating someone who's "pretty young".

Also, I only just realised that Steven is three years older than the twins in SVT, instead of the two in SVH.

This one is a real comedy of errors from start to finish, to the point where you get a bit of a vicarious "oh-no-don't-look-now" feeling just from reading it. It leaves me with two questions:
(1) How does a 16 year old not notice that he's chatting up a pre-pubescent 12 year old?
(2) If Jess gets her first kiss in this book, why do we have the super-special "Jessica's First Kiss"?

The first five Sweet Valley Twins books make for a lot of difficult reading, and not because of the vocabulary in them. We're already had to deal with orphan bullying, gross injustice and tomboy teasing, and now the series throws in lying to sweet old ladies and disliking sweet old dogs.

Jessica desperately wants to go to the Johnny Buck concert. Unfortunately her parents won't let her and, while that wouldn't stop her, she's also broke. She needs to come up with $25—fast. The trouble is, the only job that's on offer involves dog-sitting for a dear old lady—and Jessica's terrified of dogs.

Of course, this is Jessica, so she lies to Mrs Bracken and says that she absolutely adores dogs, gets the job, and proceeds to make her parents, Liz and Steven do most of the work. Meanwhile, she's telling the Unicorns and Bruce that she and Johnny Buck are tight, which is just a slight exaggeration on “he threw his cap to Liz and me last time he was in town”.

The night of the concert arrives and Jessica is all set to head to Lila's so she can sneak off to the show. But then Mrs Bracken calls and says she's going to be late to pick up Sally the dog. Anxious to leave, Jess ties Sally outside for Liz to deal with and disappears off to the concert.

By the time Elizabeth gets home, Sally's gone. Liz and Amy search everywhere for her, but she's nowhere to be found. Mrs Bracken arrives and is traumatised because Sally's all she has now that her husband's dead. The Wakefields head back out to search some more, and finally Sally is found—safely in her own home, having taken herself back there and in through her doggy door.

In the meantime, Jess has had a thoroughly unsatisfying concert experience. Instead of making Johnny an honorary Unicorn, she realises that half of the girls at the concert are wearing caps just like hers and that she's nothing special to him after all. She doesn't even get a chance to lick her wounds at Lila's before her mother and Liz turn up to tell her off.

Alice wants Jess to pay back the $25 she earned for dog-sitting but, of course, she can't do that because she spent it all on a concert ticket. Actually seeming to be genuinely remorseful for a change, she admits everything to Mrs Bracken, who was apparently a wild child in her own youth, henna hair and all. Her punishment is to walk Sally morning and night for a whole month—and this time Elizabeth has no intention of helping out.

As I said earlier, it's hard to watch Jessica manipulating an elderly lady for a quick buck, but at the same time I understand the mentality, because when I was around her age I would've probably done much worse if it meant I could've gone to the Guns n' Roses concert my parents banned me from seeing. And this time around, there really is a consequence to Jess's actions. Not just a punishment, but also a genuine realisation that her behaviour's been pretty shoddy.

I also find Elizabeth more likeable than usual in this book. She's not a complete goody-two-shoes for a change. She covers up for her sister and helps her out, but grows a spine by the end and refuses to take on any more of Jess's dirty work.


Moral of the Story? Don't make commitments you can't or won't keep.

[re-read]

The various Sweet Valley series aren't exactly known for being excellent literature. Entertaining? Absolutely. Edifying? Not so much. That said, the very first Sweet Valley Twins book is actually good junior fiction.

Elizabeth and Jessica have always dressed alike and done everything together, because that's what identical twins do. But now they're in middle school and developing different interests and groups of friends. Jess is starting to notice boys (Bruce Patman in particular, because of course) and wants to join the super-exclusive Unicorn Club, while Liz doesn't understand the appeal of boys and is excited about starting a sixth grade newspaper with her non-exclusive friends Julie and Amy.

Elizabeth basically freaks out about this, because she's scared that she's losing her best friend. It doesn't help when a Unicorn Club pledge leads to Jessica having a complete makeover and choosing non-matching clothes for the first time ever. And, once Jess actually gets into the club, Liz feels like she has to be a part of it too, even though she has no interest in their gossip-and-boys-filled discussion topics.

The Unicorns don't really think Elizabeth is a good fit, but to keep Jess in the club, they allow her to pledge—and all she has to do is play a prank on resident fat girl, Lois Waller. Liz refuses, because it's Not Nice, but Jess secretly pretends to be her and successfully completes the pledge task on Elizabeth's behalf. Liz is horrified when she finds out what's happened. She makes Jessica apologise and helps Lois to get revenge on the Unicorns. Well, mostly on Lila, for some reason.

In the end, Elizabeth realises that it's okay that she and Jessica have different priorities now, especially as that means she gets to do what she wants, instead of just doing whatever Jess suggests.

So why is it good? Firstly, it's a well executed coming-of-age plot. There's a lot in here about how it's important to be true to who you are, even if that means stepping out of your safety zone every once in a while. While most readers aren't going to be identical twins, many will have long-term friendships that begin to change as they approach puberty, and it's good to reassure kids that it's okay if you like things that your best friend doesn't like, and okay to have friends that aren't shared.

Additionally, Alice Wakefield is a strong and helpful presence throughout the book. Liz really needs her mother to help her to understand that Jessica's new friends and interests don't have to affect their closeness, and to encourage her to develop her own social group and identity that doesn't revolve around her sister. It's good to have that adult voice of reason to counter Elizabeth's fears and Jessica's standard obliviousness.

Oh, and it's made very clear that playing the prank on Lois was unkind. There's a definite distinction in the book between Jessica's pledges, which don't single out an individual for embarrassment, and Elizabeth's, which does.

Best Friends is a very good introduction to the Sweet Valley Twins series. And just a pretty good book overall.


Moral of the Story? It's okay to be your own person.


[re-read: previously read about 3 times]

In these days of better bullying awareness, I think this story would've played out in a whole other way. Especially the bit that's basically a warning to kids not to tell their parents or a teacher.

I wonder how many caves in fiction are called Dead Man's Cave? I feel like it's more than a few.

This book is about the weirdest time capsule ever. Instead of filling it with things that will show future capsule-openers what the current world is like, they fill it with things from 25 years ago. That had to be really confusing to open in 2013. Yep, the books of my childhood were set so long ago that the time capsules in them would've been opened by now.

Apart from that stuff, this is pretty standard Liz-and-Jess-competing SVT fare. Except for the bit where Liz decides it's totally her business to reunite a mentally-scarred Vietnam Vet and his son.

This book made me SO ANGRY when I was a teenager first reading it, and it still makes me SO ANGRY now. Seriously, they should've burned this guy's house down or something (you know Jess is capable of it), instead of forgiving him.