TE Carter

"Whether or not anyone likes me - whether or not I like me - I don't want to blame myself anymore. I only wanted to belong. I wanted so badly to be taken in - by someone, someplace. Anyone. Anyplace. I wanted it enough to screw up and lose myself, but I am still not to blame."

CW: Rape, rape culture, victim-blaming.

Ellie Frias has been bullied her whole adolescence - her peers have made her feel ugly, unloved, and insignificant. But Ellie is about to start her freshman year of high school, and she is determined to be a different girl, someone people notice and love. But Ellie's desperate need to belong finds her trapped in a horrible situation she can't find her way out of.

I Stop Somewhere is a very difficult book for me to rate. On the one hand, the content was dark, and at times hard for me to deal with. But it also bears extremely important messages for our day and age.

I'll jump right to the point - I Stop Somewhere is a story about rape and rape culture. In her quest to belong, the Ellie clings to the first guy who validates her and makes her feel beautiful. But he only sees her as an object he can use - he uses Ellie's vulnerability to get what he wants.

On the one hand, I wanted to slap Ellie for missing the obvious signs, for going back repeatedly to someone who obviously doesn't care. But I also saw myself in Ellie - because when I was a lonely high schooler, I made the same mistakes Ellie does. Only, I was lucky enough that the guy who took advantage of me didn't go as far as Ellie's does. The desire to belong and no longer feel loneliness is powerful - there are people that see that in others and use it to their advantage.

Writing-wise, this book wasn't perfect - I think the plot drug on in places. But many points were thrown out that cut right to the quick of the issue. This book doesn't shy away from describing the horrors of rape and Ellie's situation. I had to put it down a few times because it became too much - and there is little to no reprieve from the darkness of this story.

However, I can see why the story goes to such dark places - it's too easy to disregard rape victims, especially in our culture which still embraces the idea of "boys will be boys." Our poor boys - they were just having a little fun. What about their bright futures???



The story didn't have a very satisfying ending for me - but it reaffirms the problem of victim blaming in our culture that we still need to solve. This was a difficult book for me to read - not only was it extremely dark, but it made me really angry as well. (Yet I think if it didn't make me angry, there would be something wrong with me.)

As I mentioned before, I am having a difficult time assigning a rating to this, and I don't think I will. I can't say I had a fun time reading this book - but the message is so crucial that it doesn't deserve to be rated based on my enjoyment, like I do with most books. Therefore, I'm leaving it as it is. If the idea of rape culture and victim blaming still confuses you, please pick up this book.

"Death isn't the consequence for making mistake; it's the punishment we force on girls because they couldn't be good.

Only girls have to die for wanting."

Review also posted on my blog.… (plus d'informations)

I can not tell you the last time I read a book that shattered me the same way I Stop Somewhere did - still does. I am gutted. Absolutely, gutted. Even a week after closing this book with tears streaming down my cheeks, I am still reeling from the emotional roller coaster that this book was.

Please allow me to clarify; I Stop Somewhere is beautifully and carefully written. Even though my heart ached again and again for Ellie and for her father, I did love reading this book. The storyline is meaningful and the characters are brilliantly written and developed flawlessly over each page. I connected to Ellie. I cried with Mr. Frias. Their relationship is one that I get. But what made this book so tragic is how real and familiar this story is. We all know this story. We've all heard it before. This is the telling of a victim, her assault and the assault of others - an assault that countless (too many) others face every single day. This story is for them. This book is for us.

As much as I love I Stop Somewhere through all my heartache, I know that warnings are so important. So, please be aware: Yes, this book can be very painful. Yes, there is rape. Yes, there is violence. Yes, there is death. TE Carter is sensitive but she is also honest - read her Author's Notes section. These pages are every bit as important as the story itself.

I can't think of a time where I Stop Somewhere could be any more relevant or any more necessary to read.… (plus d'informations)