Well written with some interesting (good?) points. Being a stepmom is more difficult than anyone (other than another stepmom) could imagine. It's like having to perform all of the activities of being a "mom" without getting any of the perks. I didn't know the book going to be based in religion, which was a bit offputting to me. I would suggest adding something in the title that indicates the Christian message. I wouldn't have bought the book if I had known it was based in religion. However, it did make me consider writing a "stepmom" book devoid of the dogma. ( )

NCLA Review - Every church library should purchase this book! As a stepmom I can personally state that I wish such a book had existed years ago. With practical yet sensitive suggestions for many of the common pitfalls, Deal and Petherbridge bring a Christian approach to step-parenting. They are able to get into the heads of stepkids which helps towards mutual respect and understanding for newly formed families. Whether the Dad is engaged in parenting or not, whether the birth mom has died or divorced are all areas which change the dynamic for the stepmom. These are but two areas covered in the book. The format is easy to follow and contains a prayer, Bible references and a series of discussion questions at the end of each chapter. Rating: 4+ —JD ( )

I became a stepmom earlier this year. I’m already a mother to a 6 year old, but adding another child (a 7 year old) to the household came with its own set of issues. And being a stepmother can be particularly difficult; you love a child so much, but that child feels guilty if he allows himself to love you back because he feels like he’s betraying his birth mother. A new personality, a birth mother, another parent in the house, and a child with split loyalties all helped throw our home into turmoil. This book came with some wonderful suggestions on helping him, me, and his father through what will continue to be a rocky road. The authors don’t pretend that you will magically have a happy, calm, peaceful home. You won’t get that with any kind of family. They give suggestions for working with your husband and the child’s mother (hopefully as a team, but possibly not) to be something new to this child. I’d once heard “stepson” referred to as a “bonus son” and have tried to behave to him as such. Now I can see myself as a “bonus mom” to him and can recognize that he may not always be able to see me as that.

I essentially skipped all of the religious messages in this book, however. I had no idea when I got this book that it would be so overflowing with Protestant messages (and would not have bought the book if I’d known about it). But the suggestions given are good enough to skip the prayers and get to the heart of the matter. ( )

Being a step parent is quite possibly one of the most difficult things I have ever done. After nearly eleven years of step-mothering I still don't have all of the answers. Much like parenting a biological child there is simply no manual to instruct you in how to make your role as a step-parent and co-parent come simply.

Fortunately there are many authors with both practical experience and degrees in counseling and such who have tried to give struggling step parents at least a little help. The difficulty there is finding an approach that will work for not only your unique situation but also your moral and/or spiritual value system.

The Smart Stepmom claims to be a practical approach to guiding struggling stepmoms and it certainly does try for a couple of chapters not to start laying the religion on thick. But as a stepmom looking more for basic insight and examples of helpful ways to approach the role of a stepmother I found that after a point I simply could not gather much from this book. I very deeply respect and appreciate when a religious (in this case Christian) approach is taken in spiritual matters but for me my dealings within the realm of stepmom are not spiritual in nature.

If you are a non-Christian or prefer a more scientific approach I would not recommend this book. After a point I found the suggestions of praying and subtle mentions of "being a godly woman" to be impractical at best and almost... well... insulting, at worst. Who are these authors to imply that myself or my spouse are ungodly?

There are surely some insightful messages here if you are looking for more spiritual aid but I will not be recommending this book to anyone with real issues that need working through. Please do not be offended when I say that the "pray and wait on God's aid" methodology presented within is just plain silly. As they say... God helps those who help themselves... and I think prayer and godly example are only part of the solution in any given situation, step-parenting or no. ( )

Deal and Petherbridge have assembled a practical and helpful guide for Christian stepmothers and their families. Well-structured chapters include thoughtful insights from real stepmoms, relevant scripture, and prayers. Topics and questions for group discussion are included in each chapter. Chapters like "Kodak Moments: Vacations, Holidays, Mother's Day, and Special Occasions" add depth and assist new stepmoms in dealing with especially trying moments and situations.