Dawn WhiteCritiques
Auteur de Wingless And Damned (The Damned Series)
Critiques
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I thought the story had promise, but the writing style was lacking. There were a lot of grammatical errors. And the story jumped around with very little explanation. I was especially annoyed with the battle scene, when Lea enters the battle scene, and suddenly she is surrounded by dismembered bodies. Where did they all come from. In the paragraph before, all the warriors were alive. We can infer they were killed in battle, but we didn't get to read about it. It could have been an epic battle scene. Instead we were left with a very short chapter where we basically jump from we are in a battle, to we have won the battle.
I think the story needs to be fleshed out more. It is a good idea for a book, but we never come to care for any of the characters.