Julia Samuel (1)Critiques

An insightful and compelling small book dealing with the subject of grief, a frequently misunderstood and difficult concept in the modern world. This is Julie Samuel’s first book. Following book about times for change is also worthwhile reading. It makes a good companion volume to this book. Essentially the format remains the same throughout, with case studies followed by professional reflections. The end of the book is rounded out by conclusions, recommendations, and a very brief history of mourning in the United Kingdom. Not only is this insightful and instructive, but it does belie and express a remarkable degree of compassion on behalf of the author. Whilst this may be a book that could be perceived to be turned to at certain stages of our lives, I think it’s a book that all of us should read, wherever they are in their life. Recommended.

A really good introduction into the management of change, why it causes discomfort and pain and what we can learn from it. This book tackles a wide diversity of individuals, situations, and problem. Adroitly handled, Julia Samuel is very empathic and understanding and clearly can get the best from her clients. She has an impressive understanding of cognitive structures that are maladaptive and an ability to illuminate those to her clients. Well worth a read.

A collection of short case studies from a grief psychotherapist, Each chapter has a few case studies linked by a similar theme (death of a partner, death of a child, facing your own death etc) and has reflections at the end of the chapter.

Grief Works is a compassionate guide that will inform and engage anyone who is grieving, from the 'expected' death of a parent to the sudden unexpected death of a small child, and provide clear advice for those seeking to comfort the bereaved.

Julia Samuel is a bereavement expert in the United Kingdom. She has spent 25 years working as a grief counselor. She was also a dear friend of Princess Diana and is young Prince George's Godmother. Because death is still such a taboo subject and the grief process is deeply misunderstood, Samuel wrote this book to share stories of those who have suffered great loss and came through it.

In her book, she shares stories of clients who lost parents, spouses, children, siblings, and those who were faced with their own looming death. These stories are like mini vignettes of their counseling sessions, covering the highs and lows of the grief process. Many of her clients suffered from deep depression, alcoholism, fear, and anger. All of these are common emotions and actions when dealing with a loss. Some of the anger that was felt wasn't so much from the death, but how others handled the death. One woman spoke of her deep anger and hurt over a close co-worker who stopped speaking to her after her mother's death. Her friend said a simple "Sorry for your loss" and then never spoke to her again. This loss of a close friend along with her mother hurt her greatly. We don't know why the friend stopped speaking to the bereaved friend, but most likely, it was that she didn't know what to say or do, so it is easier to avoid that to possibly say the wrong thing.

I've read many books on grief and dealing with death and while this one followed similar stories of those left behind to suffer, I felt a bit detached from the personal stories. I can't put my finger on why, but maybe they were written a bit too clinical, being told from the counselor's perspective and not the client. What I appreciated most was the end of the book that dealt with the coping strategies both for the bereaved and for the friends and family of those grieving. After one of my close friends died suddenly this summer, a number of people have asked me how to handle it, knowing that I used to work in Hospice. I found her suggestions to be good reminders for myself when seeing those who are grieving as well as handling my own moments when I remember my friend. Samuel offers important suggestions for those suffering and for others who want to continue to be a friend or support the family member in their home. Whether you are suffering the loss of a parent to old age, a sibling to an accident, or a spouse to a heart attack, you are never prepared for the deep emotions and loss. Having family and friends there for you is critical to surviving in those weeks, months, and years after the death.

I think if you are grieving or know someone close to you who are grieving, this book could be helpful, especially the practical steps and advice at the end of the book. Samuel is obviously a leader in grief counseling and has years of research and experience to back up her advice.