Judy Kiehart

I'm not sure how this memoir came to my attention, but it is written by a woman who grew up in one of the "up valley" communities a few miles north of Scranton, PA, so, a local author by my definition. After a rough start, where I thought I might give up on awkward sentences, episodic early childhood memories and odd word choices, something about the style changed completely about a third of the way through. I became thoroughly engrossed in Kiehart's exploration of her quest to understand her sexual identity and her longing for a "normal" life. Having been raised in a Russian Orthodox family and community in a small town in Northeastern Pennsylvania in the 1950s, homosexuality was an unknown concept to Kiehart in her childhood, and other religions were foreign territory even though the area was populated by immigrants of multiple faiths. Her own grandparents on both sides were early 20th century Polish immigrants, whose Old World traditions and beliefs were practiced virtually unchallenged until Judy's generation came of age during the late 1960s and 1970s. Sex and religion both remained highly mysterious to Judy until her high school years, when the "crushes" she occasionally had on other girls began to become more serious, leading to an intense relationship with a woman named Valerie. Keeping her sexual identity a secret from her family and most friends was, she felt, an absolute necessity, however troublesome. She dated young men from time to time, and was romantically pursued by one in particular, who wrote to her after entering the military, expressing hopes for a future together . When Valerie died suddenly, Judy decided she could "fix" herself by marrying Stan, and following the traditional path that her upbringing taught her she should have been seeking all along. Ironically, the marriage actually damaged her relationship with her family, when Stan "got religion" and began attending a protestant church where Judy herself found social contacts and lifestyle guidelines that helped her repress the parts of herself that made her uncomfortable. Her parents, initially overjoyed and relieved that Judy was behaving right at last, took her abandonment of their faith as a betrayal, effectively confirming the belief she had always held that it would certainly be impossible for them to understand her preference for women. Kiehart's life over the next several decades makes very moving reading. A difficult, though not entirely unhappy marriage; an unexpected pregnancy and the birth of a son who brought her joy; a new love interest; and eventual resolution of many of the issues she had alternately struggled with or tried to submerge, all very well presented. As one reviewer put it, the memoir is relevant and enlightening for anyone "trying to fight their way through the shame society has placed on their unconventional {inclinations}...such as atheists in religious families, homosexuals in homophobic climates, and people having identity crises generally". I recommend it even if you don't fall into one of those categories.… (plus d'informations)