Dawn Davies

Some little girls dream about being mothers when they grow up. They love babysitting and being around little kids. They coo over babies. I was not one of those little girls. In fact, my mother admitted that when I called to tell her that we were having a baby, she was thrilled but a little surprised, not certain that I'd ever want children. And in truth, to this day I really struggle with other people's children. (My kids would probably say there are days I struggle with them too.) Motherhood was never a given for me. So when I find other people who have or had a rather ambivalent feeling about becoming a mother, I am eager to see if their experience mirrors mine in any way. Dawn Davies is a mother but she didn't always want to be one, nor has her motherhood journey been an easy one. Mothers of Sparta, her "memoir in pieces," chronicles her journey, her life, and her decisions, pre- and post-motherhood.

Instead of a straight memoir, this is a collection of essays, not told chronologically. Many of the essays talk about aspects of life as a mother, divorce, blended families, and pregnancy and childbirth and its sometimes deeply unpretty aftermath. She can be funny. She can tug at heartstrings. She is fierce. She is fumbling. Above all, though, she is unfailingly honest. It is in fact this span of emotions that make this such an uneven reading experience. Thematically the essays all hang together but the tone varies wildly, as does the reader's interest in each essay. The strongest, most visceral story in here, is that of mothering her son and the toll that his mental illness takes on everyone in the family. It is a hard read, seeing how little support there is in the real world for dealing with a severely troubled child, how scary the present is and how uncertain the future. Contrast this heart deep essay with the light and frivolous essay listing of men Davies would have slept with and why and you have a sense of the wild swings contained here. When Davies is at her most raw, the writing is well done. When she is a little more removed, some of her sentences are convoluted or overwritten, reaching for emotion that comes so effortlessly in other places. As a whole this doesn't always hang together comfortably and my attention wavered at the abrupt jumps in tone so this is perhaps a better book to delve into piece by piece rather than in its entirety.… (plus d'informations)

Mothers of Sparta is a series of essays that form a memoir. Dawn Davies offers glimpses into her life at various crucial moments. Some funny incidents are included, but overall the tone is of despair, anger, loneliness and frustration. Davies writes in both the first and second person, and for me this was a problem. Many times while reading I felt like I was listening to a very long “voice-over”, the type offered T.V shows such as Grey’s Anatomy – and it became tiresome. Often Davies went off on tangents, some so long that I forgot what she had originally been writing about.

Some of the essays, most specifically the Title story were brilliant; sharp, pointed and searing. Others seem to be meandering thoughts going nowhere. I wish I had read them in intervals, reading more than one or two at a sitting diluted the whole. I also found that the cover blurb misrepresented the content – quotes like “Davies…couldn’t care less about anyone’s potty-training programs…” made it sound like a non-fiction version of “Where Did You Go Bernadette” or some other snarky mom writing – and it most definitely is not! Davies has dealt with many hardships while raising her children and none of it sounded like fun. Powerful essays, but best taken in small doses and with forewarning
… (plus d'informations)

A big percentage of this book is a handbook of bad choices in parenting, relationships and pet ownership. Basically I was thinking, why would someone want to read about such an unremarkable life = a whole chapter on being a soccer mom. Then there is the chapter on on men past and present that she she would have sex with. (Why should I care? I don't). The two redeeming qualities are that she is a good writer in the way she presents the car wreck of her life and the chapter about her struggles with her son with a plethora of physical and psychological issues.… (plus d'informations)

Dawn Davies describes her Mothers of Sparta as a “memoir in pieces,” an excellent way of describing this collection of essays that taken together share many important elements in her life. I think many women will recognize themselves in the fierceness of Davies’ maternal love, the joy, the pride, the sacrifice, and the pain. In some of these essays, she scrapes herself raw to tell the honest story of her life.

Davies captured my heart with the first paragraph of the first essay, “NIght Swim” describing the oppressive heat where “a deep breath leaves you unsatisfied, suspicious there is nothing life-giving at all in what you’ve inhaled, and you are left air-hungry…” Wow, if you have even spent a miserable hot, humid summer day trying to breathe hot air thick with moisture, you know exactly what that feels like. She brings that kind of detailed and honest observation to everything, to much more significant things than the humidity.

She writes about what it was like to move and move and move again as a child, about pregnancy, post-partum depression, raising children, divorce, being a soccer mom, and raising a child who is profoundly disabled and disturbed.

The title essay, “Mothers of Sparta” left me emotionally wrecked. Her son is diagnosed with autism and there was a constant struggle to get the schools to meet his needs, particularly since ignorant educators would assume that since he didn’t “look” disabled, he must be recalcitrant, stubborn, or disrespectful. Shockingly, autism was the easy part. In his teens, he gets a far more devastating diagnosis, one that will break your heart for him and his family. It was painful to read. It was certainly far more painful for Davies to write and even more painful to live.

I enjoyed Mothers of Sparta a lot. Many of the essays are stories of an ordinary life made extraordinary by Davies’ prose and insight. She writes an essay about baking a pie–humorous in many ways, but also one that gives insight into the exhaustion and fog of post-partum depression. Another story about ordering a custom-made dress over the internet is also a story about letting your children make their own mistakes, and what men sometimes demand of women. There is one essay, “Men I Would Have Slept With” is funny enough, but too silly, an odd duck when measured against the rest of her essays. I highly recommend this book.

Mothers of Sparta will be released on January 30th. I received an Advance Reading Copy from the publisher through a Shelf Awareness drawing.

“A Piece of Pie” – a free excerpt from Mothers of Sparta at Flatiron Books | Macmillan
Mothers of Sparta at Flatiron Books | Macmillan
Dawn Davies author site

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