Rosaria Champagne ButterfieldCritiques

In this powerful book, Rosaria Butterfield uses Scripture to confront 5 common lies about sexuality, faith, feminism, gender roles, and modesty often promoted in our secular culture today. Written in the style of a memoir, this book explores Butterfield’s personal battle with these lies―interwoven with cultural studies, literary criticism, and theology―to help readers see the beauty in biblical womanhood, marriage, and motherhood.

Amazing people who open their homes and live out hospitality. Challenges my introvert-ness.

3.75 stars

This was a hard book to rate and review, because it was a little misleading, in my opinion. Supposedly, it’s about hospitality. However, the first half or so of the book is more about God’s design for sexuality and the way churches are to function. There’s a lot about church discipline in these pages. These things weren’t bad, but they were indirectly, instead of directly, related to hospitality and so I was frustrated for a good portion of the book.

However, when Butterfield does actually get around to talking about hospitality, specifically, and even when talking about what our relationships with God should look like, more generally, there are so many good points and quotes. I wrote down a couple pages’ worth, they were so good!

There were a few things here and there that rubbed me the wrong way, or that maybe I have a slightly different belief about than the author has, but the only things I feel worth mentioning are the cursing and the potential bragging.

When quoting others who used curse words, she included them in the book, which I found completely unnecessary. It would have been enough to state that someone cursed. No one needs to know the exact words these people used - they were irrelevant to the stories - and because we’re reading them, they’re entering our minds. It’s one thing to hear these words from real people we’re interacting with in our own personal lives, and it’s another thing to read them in a book, by a Christian, that could have been edited more thoughtfully but wasn’t.

And because she drew from her own life exclusively for the stories in this book, the tone frequently sounds a bit arrogant, like she’s doing nearly everything "best," or at least better than 99% of other, more sinful, Christians. Parts of it left a bad taste in my mouth, and I would have liked to hear more about hospitality she received, instead of primarily about all the good things she and her family do.

Actually, one more thing: She repeated the phrase "radically ordinary hospitality" so many times that if they were put into one place, would probably add up to a few pages. The repetition drove me nuts, but the phrasing did, too. "True hospitality" is more accurate and a lot less wordy!

Overall, though, there was a lot of good here.

This was a frustrating book to try to rate. I found myself agreeing with her in one sentence, and disagreeing in the very next one - and then repeated that throughout the whole book.

Due to the title, I expected the bulk of this book to focus on her wrestling with the Christian faith pre-conversion (similar to how Nabeel Qureshi wrote his memoir [b:Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus: A Devout Muslim Encounters Christianity|18289396|Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus A Devout Muslim Encounters Christianity|Nabeel Qureshi|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1386802223s/18289396.jpg|25818274]), but she spends just a couple chapters quickly wrapping up this part of her life.

She then jumps into defending her fringy, very Reformed (Calvinistic) denomination, and attacking other Christians who don't believe what she believes, then complains that these Christians are not humble and kind enough to embrace others who disagree with them on issues.

Her writing was drenched in pride masking as humility.

Even though I felt like getting into the adoptions of her children didn't fit with the supposed theme of the book, I'm interested in foster care and adoption, so thought this part would still be worth reading. I was very turned off to hear her not-so-secret thoughts of teenage birth parents:

"[My husband and I] were surprised and horrified to learn that even Christian crisis pregnancy centers encourage teenagers to try to parent their children rather than consider the adoption alternative." (p 119) Butterfield then goes on to essentially say that all these children will end up in foster care because their parents are sinners.

Some of her "Christian" jargon also turned me off a bit. I'm a Christian, but I don't use (and have never before heard used) terms like "covenant homes" when referring to a nuclear family comprised of Christian parents. Other parts of her language were very "intellectual" for lack of a better term. I get that she's a super-smart English professor, but it came across as pretentious.

Having said all that, there was some good here!

Certainly, her call to Christians to treat those in the LGBTQ community with more love is needed! Even her desire to show hospitality to others is something that should be present in the Christian church, but is all too often lacking.

I appreciated her thoughts on sexual sin, and how homosexuality is not "worse" than other sexual sins:

"To a good Christian, sex is God's recreation for you as long as you play in God's playground (marriage). No way, Jose. Not on God's terms. What good Christians don't realize is that sexual sin is not recreational sex gone overboard. Sexual sin is predatory. It won't be "healed" by redeeming the context or the genders. Sexual sin must simply be killed. What is left of your sexuality after this annihilation is up to God. But healing, to the sexual sinner, is death: nothing more and nothing less.... too many Christian fornicators plan that marriage will redeem their sin.... Christian masturbators plan that marriage will redeem their patterns.... Christian internet pornographers think that having legitimate sex will take away the desire to have illicit sex. They're wrong.... Christians act as though marriage redeems sin. Marriage does not redeem sin. Only Jesus himself can do that." p 83 (emphasis mine)

Another thought on marriage:

"I've come to note that normally moderate non-pretentious Christians tend towards extreme emotional excess in the areas of weddings and baby showers. This particular weakness had not been mine to witness until I became the subject of this attention. I found this kind of attention uncomfortable and annoying. It seemed as though people that I thought were my friends saw me as suddenly more legitimate now that I was going to join the club of the married." p 53

I also liked this quote:

"We develop a taste for God's standards only by disciplining our minds, hands, money, and time. In God's economy, what we love we will discipline." p 30

So, there was good and bad here. It is a memoir, and at the end of the day, I have to remind myself that memoirs are by definition one person's thoughts about their own experiences and beliefs, so naturally they are highly subjective.

I wouldn't necessarily recommend this to others, but I also wouldn't attempt to dissuade anyone from reading it.

First sentence: The devil is a liar. And not just any old liar, a very good one. He normally avoid direct assaults. He prefers deceit, and misdirection.

I'm going to review in a slightly different format that I hope is at least as helpful if not more.

Who is the book for? Who is the intended audience? Butterfield's intended audience is Christian women. Christian women from all walks--backgrounds, experiences, viewpoints. She is writing to a) Christian women who are [very] likely going to agree with her on most if not all of these five lies, b) Christian women who MAY agree with her on some--though perhaps not all--of these five lies, c) Christian women who are likely to disagree with her more often than not. The book is written for those who profess to be Christian. It is not primarily written for the "world at large." She is not particularly seeking to change the minds of the whole, wide world--culture and society at large.

Why did she write the book? Why should YOU read it? (Should you read it?) Butterfield is, I believe, writing because she sees that these FIVE LIES are becoming more and more prevalent and embedded within the evangelical church. Not just the liberal, progressive, on the fringe churches. But becoming more and more common within "big eva" or the mainstream evangelical churches. Hardly any denomination exists that isn't facing at least the threat if not the actualization of these lies. Perhaps even coming from the top down--from the higher ups, the powers that be, the structural organization, the seminaries and schools of higher learning. Because this issue is embedded within the evangelical culture, within the mainstream churches, because even if you fence yourself off from the world at large and seek to live a bubbled-life, it's now becoming more common even within the church. There is no hiding from the lies addressed in the book. That is why you should read the book.

Is the book persuasive? I believe the book is well-written. I believe that the flow and layout of this one is logical, reasonable, biblical even. Butterfield uses Scripture AND testimony--her own--to write of these five issues, five lies. She writes clearly, in my opinion. She holds a VERY high view of Scripture. Because the evangelical church is losing that "high view" of Scripture, letting go of the notion that it is a) God-breathed, inspired, the VERY word of God, b) inerrant and infallible, always true, always faithful, always relevant, always authoritative, they are welcoming with open arms these lies from the world, from the devil. So is it persuasive? I think if you fall into the first two audiences (see above) those who likely already agree to a certain extent on a few of these lies, then the book will help affirm, reaffirm, establish, re-establish your position. Your confusion and doubts may clear up. If you fall into the third audience and are coming into the book with an I-don't-agree-with-this-this-is-nonsense attitude, the Holy Spirit might, can, may still use the book to enlighten. But if you are strongly opposed to everything Butterfield stands for, if you see her as "the enemy," then this one might not be persuasive enough. (But again, the Holy Spirit can work mighty wonders with hardened hearts, with the chiefest of sinners.)

So what are the five lies?

1) Homosexuality is normal
2) Being a spiritual person is kinder than being a biblical christian
3) Feminism is good for the world and the church
4) Transgenderism is normal
5) Modesty is an outdated burden that serves male dominance and holds women back.

Final thoughts...

Just as there are supposedly "four point Calvinists" or "three point Calvinists" I believe it is possible at least to approach this one believing several of these to be lies and yet not fully convinced that all five are equally lies or equally dangerous.

The book delivers on what it promises. It is about those five lies. If you hold those five lies to be true, to be your truth, chances are you will not particularly enjoy or find this one comfortable. If you recognize these five lies to be lies--to be false--then you will find this one (in my opinion) an absorbing, enlightening, engaging read. I particularly found the testimony bits to be incredibly moving and inspiring.

I especially enjoyed the first three chapters of this book, and bits and pieces of the final two chapters. Her writing is excellent, skillful, honest, and inspiring.

For me some of the focus in the final two chapters was too much on her denomination’s beliefs and some other things related to adopting, fostering, and homeschooling children. I would’ve loved to hear a bit more of the personal things with her family rather than more informational things in these chapters.

Aside from some nuggets I underlined here and there in those latter chapters, I wasn’t a fan of this because—though it was informative and would be helpful if I wanted to study these subjects—I wanted to read a memoir, not information about her denomination, marriage theology, etc.

TL,DR; I really enjoyed the first three chapters and was even moved to tears a few times and I’m glad to have finally gotten to read this book, but the final two chapters were disappointing.

58140

58141

Rosaria's book is one of those stories that at first glance, seems impossibly exhausting. How could someone open their home to dozens of people each week, prepare food and worship together, and love seemingly unlovable people by giving away everything they have(including cars!)

The answer? It is impossibly exhausting, and Butterfield makes no qualms about the difficulties of true hospitality. But the payoff for such a life is the overwhelming joy that results; one that is rooted in the love that Christ has for us and what he has called us to live to all.

The challenge of such a book begs for a response for the reader; one that could possibly transform the way that you think about the space of your dinner table, strenuous family relationships(the chapter on her mother left me in tears), and the methhead next door. Reader beware.

pretty good. The first half of the book, about her actual conversion, was more interesting to me. The second half felt like the blog of a Christian homeschooling mother in the years after her conversion. Still interesting, but in a different way, and not as interesting (to me) as her conversion story. I enjoyed it, though. I would recommend it.

Basically the thesis of the book is, Christians should practice "radical ordinary hospitality." Which means befriending your neighbors, open your home to people in need, invite neighbors and anyone in need over to dinner, expect people coming over for food or coffee at any day of the week, prepare and send meals to people who are in need, foster parenting.....etc. The author and her family basically open up their home for neighborhood fellowship five evenings a week. They plan for this in their grocery budget, so their grocery budget is triple what the family itself would need. The author provided many vignettes of the people and family they reached out to over the years, as they practiced radical ordinary hospitality. She provided and discussed Bible passages that encourage Christians to do this. She tried to address concerns and questions about radical ordinary hospitality. It's not a very structured book; talking points are often repeated. But her stories stay with you. One of her points in the book was, in this day and age when there is much suspicion and hostility against Christianity, practicing radical ordinary hospitality is the best way for Christians to help the world receive the gospel.

This was an absolutely fabulous, balanced book on putting into practice doctrines we already know but have failed to live out in our day to day. Rosaria Butterfield calls Christians to walk what they talk, to welcome in the stranger, the poor, the needy with no expectation of repayment, and to do it with a well cooked meal and table fellowship. She did an excellent job addressing where and how one should begin (start small), who is one's neighbor, and where the boundaries for hospitality actually are versus where our pride tells us they should be. She intersperses exposition and explanation with helpful anecdotes which color inside the lines she draws around hospitality, and each of these anecdotes paint the Butterfields in a human light- she shares both their successes and failures, their virtues and sins, painting the overall picture of God's hand in their lives through their humble home service. The book does not only focus on her efforts with neighbors, but shares how her husband and children join in hospitality, dispelling any notion that hospitality is the housewife's work. It shows how to rethink prayer in the spectrum of hospitality, and shares even the practical, "here's what my day looks like".
Reading the book can be daunting if you're not a pastor's wife who stays at home and homeschools multiple children. But I think even here she recognizes and addresses that insecurity. She advises to start small, do what you can, bring others into your life. I would highly recommend anyone read this book, even if you think you have hospitality done right.

Challenging!

9/10

This was such a well told story of this author's life story. It was very thought provoking and challenging to me. She is a lady I would love to meet someday. Rosaria was living a very good life as a tenured professor at a large university. She was respected and looked up to by folks in her community of friends. But in her late 30s she encountered the idea of Christianity; "a religion she had regarded as problematic and sometimes downright damaging". But she will come to realize that what they thought about God might be true. Her sudden change in life-style and her testimony for the Lord will greatly affect her friendships. But the transformation and the love and family that follows was a joy to read about. Here is a woman who said herself, "Sometimes in crisis, . . .sometimes our character is simply transformed." I thank the Lord for her testimony and for this book that I read.½

Excellent resource! Well written, but not an easy read because it will challenge your day to day style of life. Butterfield thinks well, is very thorough and gives compelling anecdotal evidence for this practice of gospel hospitality She makes a riff on Imagine by John Lennon, not stylistically nor musically but as a thought experiment. Powerful and practical.

Rosaria Champagne Butterfield went from being a lesbian feminist university professor to a preacher’s wife and homeschooling mother. This book is the story of her spiritual journey. In a time when many on opposite sides of cultural and political divides cannot manage to be civil to one another, it is refreshing to read about the open and respectful dialogue Butterfield experienced with her new acquaintances in the Reformed Presbyterian Church. Butterfield recognizes the difference between cheap and costly grace. Her conversion to Christianity came at the cost of cherished friendships, career, and community. The themes of repentance and hospitality stand out in this memoir, and hospitality is the major theme of the additional content in the expanded edition.

Rosaria packs more theology in 153 pages than many scholars do in ten times the length - and she does it in the construct of personal memoir. This is my most important book of 2013.

This is an amazing book on how God transforms lives. The author of this book was a radical,lesbian,tenured English professor. Today she is a Christian, has a husband, and home schools her children. The book chronicles her thoughts as she went through this transformation. In reading this book I was constantly reminded of 2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."
I read this book on my Kindle. If anyone else with a Kindle would like to read this book, I can loan it to you. All I need is your email address, and I can send it to your Kindle.

Not read with much pleasure yet there is surely much truth here? She so often resorts to a tirade on original sin, "the blood", and inerrancy, that it almost detracts from her argument. Which is I think that practice has become identity, and there are no easy answers, but Christian community should be a countervailing strength.

This is a forthright and compelling narrative.
I could not put it down!
Highly recommended!

Amazing testimony that shows the power of what can happen when the church does what the church should do. It's short. Read it! You won't be sorry.

A quite surprising book. I was tempted to give only four stars due to the author’s insistence on exclusive psalmody, but as I have some sympathy to that position, and principally because she is so honest, candid, well informed and just plain wonderful both about her conversion and her maturing as a Christian woman, wife & mother, I took an average with the six starts I wanted to give and arrived at five…

I cannot remember where I first heard about this book. I skim about 15 blogs a day and have Twitter and Facebook friends who post cool items all the time, so it is escaping me as to where I first learned about this book. And I am pretty sad about that because I feel an overwhelming urge to thank that person. Maybe it was here, or here, or here. Nonetheless, God, through Mrs. Butterfield and through that recommendation, truly blessed me. Greatly. Immensely. Amazingly.

Here is the publisher's description of the book:
Rosaria, by the standards of many, was living a very good life. She had a tenured position at a large university in a field for which she cared deeply. She owned two homes with her partner, in which they provided hospitality to students and activists that were looking to make a difference in the world. There, her partner rehabilitated abandoned and abused dogs. In the community, Rosaria was involved in volunteer work. At the university, she was a respected advisor of students and her department's curriculum. And then, in her late 30s, Rosaria encountered something that turned her world upside down-the idea that Christianity, a religion that she had regarded as problematic and sometimes downright damaging, might be right about who God was, an idea that flew in the face of the people and causes that she most loved. What follows is a story of what she describes as a "train wreck" at the hand of the supernatural. These are her secret thoughts about those events, written as only a reflective English professor could.

This book is encouraging and moving. It is startling in its honesty and its perspective. This book is a quote machine but it does not sacrifice substance for pith. It addresses a wide range of contemporary issues, not the least of which is how God moved her from Lesbianism and, even more importantly, a post modern skepticism that had left her disillusioned with the central truth claims of Biblical Christianity. The story of her conversion is messy, sad, encouraging and exciting. It is brilliantly written and greatly God-honoring.

I did have a solitary problem with the book. I was concerned with, and put off at times with, how the Regulative Principle of worship was handled. Two issues concerned me. First, the Regulative Principle was presented as the only viable, Biblical approach to Christian worship and that it was definitely the only one that faithfully lived out Sola Scriptura.

Secondly, and much more of an issue, was the fact that I was bewildered to see such an extensive discussion on this topic in this text. I feel it does a disservice to the book and will cause many who take up reading it to put it down and not return. I, personally, love reading about topics such as this and I was still tempted to abandon it because of the time spent on the topic and the manner in which it was approached. Which is sad. The remaining pages are filled with Gospel-drenched counsel, encouraging stories and a call to reach the unloved unlike any I have ever seen. It encouraged me to continue in the path God has placed before me and my family and challenged me in how I reach out to the hurting and the unloved. I praise God that I pressed through on the Regulative Principle pages and saw the gold awaiting me at the end of this book.

Doug Wilson, on his blog, noted something special about the book.
...while the book is relatively short, it is jammed with passing observations that are priceless. She is a wise woman with a good eye. Not only does she have a good eye, she has a trained outsider's eye. She was converted out of the world, and grafted into Christ. Her description of that is glorious. But she was also converted out of one tribe, and grafted into another tribe, a reality which gave her a good perspective on which aspects of our behavior (in the conservative Reformed world) were about Jesus, and which ones were merely tribal . . . and kind of odd. Consequently, there are observational gems throughout the book, usually just a sentence or two, but which could be developed into chapters or books all on their own. Pay attention to those.
I cannot think of a better endorsement than the fact that I have already gifted a copy of this book. And, though my "To Be Read" list is immense(and ridiculously impossible, to be honest), I will read this book again. It is that good. To quote Doug Wilson, "Gosh, what a book."
And Carl Trueman's take is equally appropriate(from a GREAT review of the book),
I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I do not agree with everything she says; but I did learn from everything she wrote. It deserves the widest possible readership.
Couldn't say it better myself.

A story of conversion to Christ is always refreshing and encouraging, but the story of Rosaria Champagne Butterfield is more than that, it is faith-restoring. Her story reminds evangelical Christians that the saving power of the gospel really is bigger than the contemporary “threat” of homosexuality. The book addresses the homosexual question from the inside out, and illustrates what an incarnated gospel ministry and a church full of people who have the compassion of Christ can accomplish through Christ.

Rosaria Champagne was a tenured English professor and chair of feminist studies, at Syracuse University. She was also an outspoken lesbian. She was up and coming and making a name for herself. But then, she was abruptly stopped in her tracks through an encounter with a kind Reformed pastor who took the time to interact with her on a column she had written in the paper. She didn’t know how to classify his letter, it didn’t fit in the fan mail category, nor was it hate mail. Eventually she was drawn into a friendly exchange with him and slowly he began to shatter her perceptions about Christianity. Over time, she was drawn to faith in Jesus Christ, and slowly came to reject her identity as a lesbian and found new life in Christ.

Her story is told with honesty and charm in an autobiographical account titled "The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert: An English Professor's Journey into Christian Faith." In her book, Rosaria Butterfield recounts her conversion and her growth in understanding the Scriptures. She recounts the struggle it was to be accepted as a redeemed lesbian in conservative Reformed circles. She shares her struggles and misteps in forming healthy relationships, and shares some of her steps on the way to marriage. She recounts her husband’s ministry and her involvement as a ministry partner and home-schooling mother. She also opines about problems she sees in Evangelicalism, including our modern obsession with our rights to sex. She also defends exclusive psalmody in worship.

This “unlikely convert” speaks with a disarming grace, that educates, inspires and aims to help us all change. She attacks the hidden part of us which may loathe the homosexual, and illustrates how genuine ministry will be messy and will prize making a difference above staying safe. Her story is a call to the church to come out of her cocoon and take the saving gospel of Jesus to the world around us.

I listened to the ChristianAudio production of this book. The recording was extra special in that Rosaria read her own book. The emotion and flavor of the audio recording was certainly enhanced with the author as narrator. The book is quite short, but profound. I highly recommend it. It will challenge and inspire, encourage and perhaps unsettle. Above all, it will magnify Christ.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by christianaudio.com as part of the christianaudio Reviewers Program. The reviewer was under no obligation to offer a positive review.