Deborah L. Plummer
Auteur de Some of My Friends Are...: The Daunting Challenges and Untapped Benefits of Cross-Racial Friendships
A propos de l'auteur
Deborah L. Plummer is a psychologist and diversity solutions thought leader. She is founder of D.L. Plummer Associates, a consulting firm specializing in diversity management. Plummer lives with her husband Michael Bussey and their two pugs in Cleveland Heights, Ohio.
Œuvres de Deborah L. Plummer
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Cette critique a été écrite dans le cadre des Critiques en avant-première de LibraryThing.This was a hard book to read. It's frustrating when trying to engage people in conversation when there is so much that divides us. Plummer does a good job of sharing, via research and personal anecdotes, how hard it is to create and cultivate friendships and relationship across racial lines.
Cette critique a été écrite dans le cadre des Critiques en avant-première de LibraryThing.I am so grateful for this book and for the work of Dr. Deborah Plummer. Not only was this an inspirational read, but it was also eye-opening and thought provoking. Some of My Friends Are...is truly an important work that I will be recommending to everyone I know. Gaining understanding of the importance of cross-racial friendships in order to move forward toward racial harmony on any level is critical. Some of My Friends Are... provides relatable anecdotes and clearly explained research that opens our eyes to the view points of those outside our own race and to the necessity to self-reflect on our own habits and insecurities when it comes to cross-racial friendships. Most importantly, with this work, Deborah Plummer has provided encouragement for each and every one of us to expand and strengthen our cross-racial friendships for, not only a more inclusive and harmonious life, but world.… (plus d'informations)
Cette critique a été écrite dans le cadre des Critiques en avant-première de LibraryThing.Synopsis: This is a non-fiction book that talks about cross-racial friendships. Author Deborah Plummer discusses why they are important as well as some of the pitfalls that can occur.
My rating: 4/5
I received this book in a Library Things Giveaway however this review is honest and voluntary.
I found this book interesting and enlightening. The topics discussed were important and things that I'd never really considered before. One of my favorite stories in the book was when Plummer spoke of her time as a nun. She was the only white nun which she hadn't expected to be an issue because she expected her identity as a nun to be more important in that situation than her racial identity. Unfortunately, what she found was that the foods served and other elements of life as a nun were culturally white. This created a sort of low key institutional racism that I had never before considered. I had assumed that as long as organizations were welcoming of everyone that was enough but it is different to be non-discriminatory and integrating.
Plummer did an excellent job of bringing her points to life through examples of situations she and her friends had personally experienced. It helped me have a deeper understanding of where she was coming from.
My main complaint about this book is just that it is, for lack of a better word, smart. Plummer is a Phd. I appreciated how educated she was but I thought that her writing made the book less accessible to anyone without a college education. It took me a long time to read this book and I really had to concentrate and struggle with it at times to follow what was being said. I prefer non-fiction which is lighter in tone and easier to read especially because my reading is often interrupted by the demands of motherhood. This isn't the type of book one can easily read when surrounded by distractions. If you don't typically read non-fiction this book is not a good place to start.
I do think this is an important book and overall I think everyone should read it. It has helped me look at cross racial friendships differently.… (plus d'informations)
My rating: 4/5
I received this book in a Library Things Giveaway however this review is honest and voluntary.
I found this book interesting and enlightening. The topics discussed were important and things that I'd never really considered before. One of my favorite stories in the book was when Plummer spoke of her time as a nun. She was the only white nun which she hadn't expected to be an issue because she expected her identity as a nun to be more important in that situation than her racial identity. Unfortunately, what she found was that the foods served and other elements of life as a nun were culturally white. This created a sort of low key institutional racism that I had never before considered. I had assumed that as long as organizations were welcoming of everyone that was enough but it is different to be non-discriminatory and integrating.
Plummer did an excellent job of bringing her points to life through examples of situations she and her friends had personally experienced. It helped me have a deeper understanding of where she was coming from.
My main complaint about this book is just that it is, for lack of a better word, smart. Plummer is a Phd. I appreciated how educated she was but I thought that her writing made the book less accessible to anyone without a college education. It took me a long time to read this book and I really had to concentrate and struggle with it at times to follow what was being said. I prefer non-fiction which is lighter in tone and easier to read especially because my reading is often interrupted by the demands of motherhood. This isn't the type of book one can easily read when surrounded by distractions. If you don't typically read non-fiction this book is not a good place to start.
I do think this is an important book and overall I think everyone should read it. It has helped me look at cross racial friendships differently.… (plus d'informations)
Prix et récompenses
Statistiques
- Œuvres
- 4
- Membres
- 76
- Popularité
- #233,522
- Évaluation
- 4.1
- Critiques
- 14
- ISBN
- 9
I'll address the negative aspects first:
Right from the get-go, she was a little too cut-and-dried. On page 10, she states:and thenThese were too strong of statements to make, especially her assertion that one can't live an authentic life unless they socialize with other races. My first thought went to individuals who live in rural areas where they don't have the option of mixing with other races, to children whose parents dictate their social lives, and to people who are incapacitated in some way and can't socialize at all (for example, a person in a coma). To imply that these people can't live a "true" Christian life is just wrong. Her statement may be true for many people, but she never bothers to clarify this. And the idea that cross-racial friendships are the only way to express "gospel values" is not in the Bible. There are many ways to express these values, and they all stem from love, to be sure, but again, not everyone has the opportunity to interact with people of other races. She then contradicts herself on page 16: It's not necessary... unless you're a Christian?
The author sometimes comes across as a bit arrogant, and yes, even racist. She states that she grew up with "above-average intelligence." Now, perhaps she really is exceptionally intelligent, but was it really necessary for her to flatter herself? On page 49, she states:Because apparently, all whites think alike.
"All of our ancestors [book is written for an American audience], except for those of Native American Indians, arrived in this country by boat - the difference is in the kind of boat. Some were cruise ships and some were slave ships." p 104
While I understand there is a huge difference in being forced into slavery and coming to America of your own accord, it is frustrating to me when authors exaggerate to try and make a point. It makes the actual point that much less impactful. The ships that many (most?) immigrants have arrived on for the last 300ish years, could not in any way be described as cruise ships.
There were also some moments where she seemed to be treating God as relativistic... as in, any god(s) will do, and that we somehow all worship the same one(s). There is quite a lengthy passage in the book about the Baha'i religion where this was very apparent. I don't know if she actually believes that (she is a Christian of the Catholic tradition, and the description of the book states that it is written from a Christian approach) or if this was simply her attempt to not rile anyone up, but it was a miss, in my opinion.
Lastly, the book was not organized very well - the chapters are not distinct; instead, they all muddy together.
But there is good in the book, too! So let's turn to that.
"Being understood and understanding the other's race is an issue on both sides. Whites are particularly afraid of messing up and people of color are afraid that whites will mess up." p 69
I really appreciated her acknowledgement of this aspect. It is very difficult to reach out and befriend others when it's obvious that they are just watching and waiting for you to fail, so they can pounce and use your mistakes against you - and everyone who is the same color as you.
I think the strongest points of the book were her ten tips to people of color and whites.
Her list For People of Color: Ten Easy Steps to Stop Whining, on page 106, included:andHer list For Whites: How Not to Exude Privilege, on page 107, included:andI also agreed with her comment on religious life on page 21:Overall, this was an okay read. I wouldn't likely recommend it to individuals, though it could inspire good discussion if read in a group. (There are group questions at the end of each chapter for this purpose.)
This was written in 2004, and there have been updated and revised editions since then. Perhaps those address some of the negative points I mentioned and include more of the positive aspects, I don't know.… (plus d'informations)