N. West Moss

I picked this book because I read all the books that I can find about any medical problems. The author tells of her experience without any hiding of pain, emotional of her body. She told of what happened that was so embarrassing I would refuse to put into words. I admire her for that. I also love reading memoirs, unlike most people. I enjoy learning about a person directly from that person.

I felt very sad because the author's memory is kind of the beginning of when she became aware that she would not be able to carry a baby to term. I have never miscarried but I had bleeding earlier in my pregancy. I was frightened and called by OB-GYN but he was not available. The other doctor bluntly told me that if you lose, you lose it. He said to continue and just accept the loss if it happens. I was unable to take his advice, I wanted my baby so I called my mother. My mother told me that the same thing happened when she was pregnant with me. Her doctor told her to take complete bedrest. I took my mother' s advice and in a few days the bleeding stopped. I am sad that the author did not have that chance but the difference was because of what caused the bleeding.

The author's doctor told her to give it a day, but the bleeding did not stop. The author had a uterine hemangioma. Bleeding so much at the time, she did not know the cause but knew that she needed an ambulance. Her cat, Rosie ran to her when she was crawling to the bathroom. Rosie meowed into her face as the author screamed for Craig, her husband. Then Rosie would retreat a couple feet and then ran back to the author. It was as the cat was telling her that she knew that this serious and wanted so much to help.

A hysterectomy is planned but that is not the end of her experience. More bleeding, more pain and more healing must take place with the help of her family and feeling peace that comes along being with nature.… (plus d'informations)

Both horrifying and comforting, N. West Moss’s memoir Flesh and Blood speaks for the millions of silent women who have made the decision to remove their uterus.

I am one of those women. I was in my late 60s and had recurring bleeding. I first had an in-office procedure that was the most painful I have every experienced, resulting in my walking out shaking, doubled over, and bleeding for days. When the bleeding reoccurred a year later, I insisted on being anesthetized for a D&C. I had a choice to undergo regular D&Cs, or to just have the organ removed. My childbearing days were nearly twenty years over. It was an easy decision for me.

But Moss was in her early forties when she experienced increasing, non-stop bleeding. She and her husband had experienced serial miscarriages. This was a decision that marked the end of any hope of ever having a child.

The memoir follows her experience and existential struggles, from the unexpected and baffling symptoms, the diagnosis, preparing for the operation, the surgery, recovery, relapse, and, finally, reembracing an active life. She courageously writes about the miscarriages that blasted the hope for a child, and the hemorrhaging that ruined her health and quality of life.

I thought not only about my own experience of undergoing a hysterectomy, the bleeding that limited my daily activities, but of my mother’s two miscarriages, resulting in two children when she had hoped for four. And my aunt’s miscarriage. And, my dad’s long illness with a bleeding ulcer in his colon that limited his ability to enjoy his early retirement. I recalled women who hid their hysterectomy, how I didn’t understand their reluctance. Why are we ashamed?

But there is also joy and comfort in the memoir. A Praying Mantis named misnamed Claude takes residence in Moss’s sick room, later laying her eggs to be found in the spring. The abbey monks who live down the road gladly invite Moss to walk their property. Friends send cut outs of their hands in support. And, her mother comes to stay and care for Moss when she is so anemic she can no longer care for herself, and stays during surgery and through her recovery. And, there is her patient and supportive partner Craig, a quiet hero in his own right.

The surgery has forced me to ask for help, also leading me to new friends, to a new place to walk, to new adventures, however circumscribed they might be.
from Flesh & Blood by N. West Moss

Perhaps the most poignant aspect of Moss’s turmoil, for me, is her accepting the reality that her mother’s and grandmother’s stories of endurance will not be passed down to another generation. How can such people be forgotten? It is something that I struggle with while waiting to know if our one child will decide to have a child. I am a genealogist, daughter of parents who loved to tell their stories. I am the oldest grandchild on one side, and the second oldest on another. Who will remember them–us–if there is no future generation?

Moss has told their stories in this book. I have written blog posts and filled my family tree on Ancestry.com. Is it enough?

Since I don’t have a child to hold these stories, here….I hand them to you. I stand with a crowd of ghosts at my back.
from Flesh & Blood by N. West Moss

Women will understand this book. But, Moss hopes that this book will not be read only by women, for men are also affected by miscarriages and childlessness.

I received a free book from the publisher through Amazon Vine. My review is fair and unbiased.… (plus d'informations)