Jennette McCurdyCritiques

Disclaimer: My first review ever. So, please bear with me as I'm not familiar with the rules surrounding analyzing books and critiquing the way they're written. This review contains spoilers, so if you haven't read the book and you plan on it, skip over this review. Don't say I didn't warn you. 😌

Brave, kind, loyal, sweet, loving, graceful, strong, thoughtful, funny, genuine, hopeful, playful, insightful, and on and on… Was she, though? Was she any of those things? The words make me angry. I can’t look at them any longer.

Jennette, if you ever happen to read this review. Congratulations. Congratulations on coming to terms with yourself, realizing that acting isn't for you, and finding something that suits you best. Congratulations on acknowledging the damage your mom did to your life and coming to terms with the fact that she isn't perfect because she's your mother. There are so many other things I can congratulate you for— but I'm gonna try to shorten this up because I have too many things to say about this book.

This book is very raw and digs deep into how and why Jennette became an actress. It digs deep into how mothers, yes, mothers, can and do exploit their daughters for their own personal benefits. You'd be shocked to know these kinds of parents exist, and sadly, they do. Even in the West, where child abuse is looked down upon and addressed by millions of activists.

Moms are saints. Angels by merely existing. NO ONE could possibly understand what it’s like to be a mom. Men will never understand. Women with no children will never understand. No one but moms know the hardship of motherhood, and we non-moms must heap nothing but praise upon moms because we lowly, pitiful non-moms are mere peasants compared to the goddesses we call mothers.

This passage right here is much too relatable. Everyone glorifies mothers and motherhood. And yes, a lot of us do romanticize the dead, regardless of how badly they lived their lives.

Keep in mind that Jennette McCurdy's mother, Debra McCurdy, was described as Brave, kind, loyal, sweet, loving, graceful, strong, thoughtful, funny, genuine, hopeful, playful, insightful, and on and on...

That's all just a bunch of romanticism. Debra was an evil woman while she was alive. She showered her children into their teenage years and went as far as doing breast and vaginal exams on Jennette to check for cancer. What kind of mother showers her daughter with her brother and does breast and vaginal exams on her to check for cancer? Only professionals can accurately examine a person for cancer.

If you read the passage below, you'll be utterly disgusted by what the mother used to do.

Mom showers me with Scottie sometimes. He’s almost sixteen at this point.

This was just one of the many WTF moments for me in the book. I was utterly disgusted and horrified by the idea of a mother showering her children, male and female, together. And do you know how Debra felt when her son asked her if he could shower himself?

Scott asked if he could shower himself once. Mom sobbed and said she didn’t want him to grow up so he never asked again after that.

Absolute disgusting and predatory behavior. My son wants to shower himself because he's hit puberty, is mature, and doesn't feel comfortable naked around others. So I sob to make him feel guilty and allow me to touch his body inappropriately. On top of that, I perform these cancer prevention exams on my naked daughter in front of him. WTF.

Another thing that just didn't settle with me was how Debra constantly enforced anorexic thoughts and beliefs onto Jennette. Whenever Jennette was at a healthy weight and was eating, Debra would be furious. In one scene, Debra starts making Jennette eat sugar-free popsicles and diet foods, and when other people begin to notice and start questioning whether Jennette has anorexia or not, she dismisses them as dramatic. And we all know how implementing anorexic thoughts into a child affects them in their childhood. If you don't, please read the book. It brings a lot of light to the abuse Jennette has endured for the majority of her life.

Even when Jennette is older, her mother begins to have a lot of control over her choices and how her body looks.

“Net, what happened?” She doesn’t face me when she asks it. She stays looking out the window at the bumper-to-bumper traffic on the 5.

“You’re getting chunky.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“We’ve gotta get you on a diet. This is getting out of hand.” “I know.”

One day, Jennette's mother happens to find out about Jennette dating an older guy by the name of Joe. While I never approved of Jennette's relationship with Joe because he cheated on his girlfriend to be with her and because of how he treated Jennette and the terrible things he made her do, the email Jennette received from her mother tells me everything I need to know about this woman.

Debra, did you seriously think Jennette should send you money for a new fridge after you just cussed her out and denied ever being her mother? In addition to that, you body-shamed her and called her ugly in every way possible, and she has to send you money to fix the damn fridge as if you don't have money to fix it yourself. Seriously? WTF again.

Dear Net, I am so disappointed in you. You used to be my perfect little angel, but now you are nothing more than a little SLUT, a FLOOZY, ALL USED UP. And to think—you wasted it on that hideous OGRE of a man. I saw the pictures on a website called TMZ—I saw you in Hawaii with him. I saw you rubbing his disgusting hairy stomach. I KNEW you were lying about Colton. Add that to the list of things you are—LIAR, CONNIVING, EVIL. You look pudgier, too. It’s clear you’re EATING YOUR GUILT. Thinking of you with his ding dong inside of you makes me sick. SICK. I raised you better than this. What happened to my good little girl? Where did she go? And who is this MONSTER that has replaced her? You’re an UGLY MONSTER now. I told your brothers about you and they all said they disown you just like I do. We want nothing to do with you. Love, Mom (or should I say DEB since I am no longer your mother) P.S. Send money for a new fridge. Ours broke.

And the worst part is, after her mother died, Jennette's anorexia developed into bulimia, and this is what she felt.

The truth is that I wish I had anorexia, not bulimia. I’m pining for anorexia. I’ve grown humiliated by bulimia, which I used to think of as the best of both worlds—eat what you want, throw it all up, stay thin. But now it doesn’t feel like the best of both worlds. It feels terrible. I’m filled with so much shame and anxiety every time after I eat, I literally don’t know what to do to make myself feel better except throw up. And after I’m done, I half do. Half of me feels depleted, exhausted, like there’s nothing left, which is helpful. The other half of me now has a splitting headache, a sore throat, vomit sliding down my arm and tangled in my hair, and even more shame on top of the initial shame since now I’ve not only eaten but thrown up, too. Bulimia is not the answer.

I'm so glad all this BS Jennette handled is now over. Maybe it isn't. She might still be healing and growing from this, and I'm so proud. I hope all teenage girls get access to this book. Stop romanticizing evil mothers and making them look like angels.

I'm sorry this review was so long and boring. I just wanted to give a detailed overview of why I feel so strongly about this book and Jennette's mother. It's my first time, so I don't have a lot of experience and don't have a full understanding of the rules.

Jenn, if you're reading this, you're awesome and you're a big inspiration to me and multiple other girls. I'm gonna write a book inspired by your memoir.

Peace, y'all! ✌️🌠

I hated the title so I almost didn't read it. But once I started reading it I couldn't put it down. It was well written and intriguing. Only after I started reading about the book did I realize that the names were made up and it is unclear who these different boyfriends are.

Well-told, fascinating, and at times funny, story of a former child actress and former co-star on Nickelodeon's iCarly. I suspect the described abuse this young woman endured growing up is probably just the tip of the iceberg. Absolutely heartbreaking.

I'm not much into memoirs, but the title of this one drew me in; that's a story for another day. Unfortunately, the title was the best thing going for this one.

I listened to the book which was read by the author and I've never been more disappointed in a performance. It's her book, written by her, yet she sounds so bored, so forced, so anxious just to push through. There are times when her mumbling is such I have to rewind and try again before I can understand what she is saying.

As for the content, there are some awful events that McCurdy went through growing up, but unfortunately, and perhaps this was just her tone of voice in the audio version, she sounds like it's all passe, ho-hum, whatever. If that is the case, why put it in there? Maybe someone else should have read the book aloud if that isn't the case. Perhaps reading the book may have made some of the blase feel of it less pronounced.

Lastly, this book makes me feel sad for the author -- she doesn't sound like someone who has healed from the torment she describes.

I think I'll go back to my "not into memories" stance.

What a life this woman has had. And she is a hell of a writer. I hope she has more books in her. And I hope she has found a little bit of peace.

First off, I want to say there are a multitude of trigger warnings for this book, and I encourage you to look them up before you read them. The only reason I'm not listing them here is because I'm afraid I'll forget one.

Now, this book is a difficult, sad, infuriating read, but I believe it can be a necessary one (maybe not for everyone which is why I say it can be). The reason why I believe this was a necessary book for me to read is because I grew up with a not so great mom at times, and someone close to be has struggled with eating disorders, so this book helped me understand the mindset of a person with an eating disorder more.

Jennette starts out very young trying to be a people pleaser. It begins with doing everything her mom wants her to do, so that her mom will be happy (and Jennette believed this would help keep her mother alive). A lot of stuff Jennette's mother did was horrendous, and by the time her mother died, I was glad she had died too.

After her mother died, Jennette had a long road to recovery. She had to work on getting rid of her eating disorder, taking her mom off of the pedestal she had place her mom on, and ultimately decided for herself what she wanted to do with her life instead of letting others dictate what she was to do.

In the book, Jennette always enjoyed writing more than acting. During her recovery from the eating disorders, she says, "When everything's in my head, it feels chaotic and jumbled. But when I can look down at a sheet a paper and see myself reflected back in words and tallies and graphs, it's clarifying." (Chapter 81, page 274) I feel like this book was that for her. She saw her whole life on paper after going through all this therapy, and it was clarifying for her. It was a big step in her healing journey, I think.

By the end of the book, Jennette has stopped purging, she enjoys the food she's eating instead of feeling shame and guilt, she's decided to quit acting and do what she wants to do for once in her life, and she has taken her mom off of the pedestal and accepted that her mother abused her and didn't want what was best for her.

Finally, I'm going to include some quotes here:

"I scream and kick and roll around intensely. I get lost in it. There's a part of me that almost feels good doing it. Like this has been waiting to come out for a long time. Like I've been stuffing this down, shoving it down, and finally here it is. This is how I really feel. Like screaming." -Chapter 18, page 67

"I'm humiliated. And ashamed. How did I let this happen? How did I become a woman? I don't know the answer, but I know the solution. I know what I'll do to fix this....I've been slacking and the slacking needs to stop. I need to get back to anorexia. I need to be a kid again." -Chapter 36, page 127

"This new relationship to food deeply confuses me. For years I have been in control of my diet, my body, myself. I have kept myself rail-thin and my body childlike and I have found the perfect combination of power and solace in that. But now I feel out of control. Reckless. Hopeless. The old combination of power and solace is replaced by a new combination of shame and chaos. I do not understand what is happening to me. I am terrified of what will happen when Mom sees me." -Chapter 38, page 134

"Maybe that's growth, to be embarrassed." -Chapter 85, page 288

"I want my life to be in my hands. Not an eating disorder's or a casting director's or an agent's or my mom's. Mine." -Chapter 87, page 293

(3.5 Stars)

This was a good, and interesting book. I spent equal time being horrified, outraged, and to be honest...feeling sorry for Jennette. Parts of this book made me feel very uncomfortable, yet intrigued.

i knew this was going to be a tough read but i wasn't prepared to have a few lines of the PROLOGUE bring tears to my eyes. jennette i am spiritually holding your hand and i hope writing this lifted some weight off your shoulders. i can't even begin to think of a review for something like this so i'll just say i'm incredibly moved by her ability to share her story and i'm so proud of the progress she's made and continues to make and i wish her nothing but safety and love and fulfillment going forward.

Absolutely devastating on many, many levels. I'm in awe of Jennette for sharing her experiences and trauma in such a way that both open readers eyes to what was happening behind the scenes not only in the life of a child actor, but also in a way that's so honest and unflinching, even when it's about topics some people would rather never talk about. Jennette deserves all the love in the world.

I was watching a rerun of Sam and Kat last week and thought to myself I should read that book. Her I am post book and I will never look at that show the same again. Highly recommend. I have friends who have some of the same issues jennette struggled with in life and appreciate the inside view of her mindset.

It's one of the best autobiographies of recent times.

Nothing like reading about the roller coaster life of an actress. Jennette McCurdy relates the story of her rise to stardom and her mother’s role in this journey. Debra McCurdy stands as a woman with a mission and her life filled with medical problems hinders her goal. Debra finally succumbs to cancer and died in 2013. Jennette freed from her mother’s control, stopped acting. The eating patterns of Jennette and Debra amaze me: popsicles and black coffee. The living conditions of the family with eight people in a small house overflowing with junk and no beds or eating space available appear bizarre. The story shows that the grass is not always greener across the road.

oh my god.

Wish she'd gone deeper on the emotional stuff but it was a good portrait of a complicated mother-daughter relationship.½

I picked up this one because of the buzz about it and because of the admittedly great cover/title combo, not because I'd ever heard of Jennette McCurdy or the TV shows she starred in. (Too old/not American enough.) However, McCurdy writes engagingly enough even for someone like me, with no pre-existing emotional attachment to her or her shows, to get sucked in. She's a dab hand with mixing together understated humour, anger, and pathos, whether she's talking about her mother's emotional abuse/pathological behaviour or the really messed up way that Hollywood operates. The structure in the latter part of the book isn't as strong as it could be—I'm sure in part because McCurdy is still living through it and has neither the distance nor the ability to really name names needed—but this is still an impressive debut work from someone still in their 20s.

Disappointment
I have heard about digesting a really good book and giving yourself time to process the magic you have read. But I can officially say that it goes both ways, and sometimes you need to mourn the time you lost trying to finish a book that was recommended by so many people who loved it this book left me with so many questions, and I can't help but wonder why it received such high reviews. My guess is pity.

The book is composed of chapters that are more like disconnected stories, lacking any satisfying conclusions before jumping into the next chapter, which talks about a completely different topic. It's quite frustrating and leaves the reader yearning for something more cohesive.

One aspect that saddened me was the toxic relationship between the protagonist and her mother. While it's undoubtedly a difficult situation, many of us have experienced far worse in our lives. The portrayal lacked the depth and complexity needed to truly connect with the characters and their struggles.

Frankly, I can't help but wonder if the book's popularity is somehow linked to the author's Hollywood name. If she didn't have that kind of celebrity status, I doubt this book would have ever seen the light of day in the publishing world.

As an avid reader, I devour books with fervor, sometimes conquering as many as 27 a year or even a staggering 200 I can honestly say this is the first time I've felt the need to leave such a disappointing review. I understand that literary tastes can vary widely, but this book just didn't do it for me.
As you embark on your own journey with this book, I must warn you that it will be a gamble. You may either find yourself enamored by its peculiar charm, or you may share my sentiments of disappointment. In the end, reading is a personal journey, and I hope that you find the books that bring you joy and fulfillment. Remember, our tastes differ, and what may not resonate with me might be a perfect fit for you.

She wasn't really glad her mom died. Not really. None of us ever really work through the damage that moms do to us in our early years, especially moms that are facehuggers. We just learn to deal with it effectively in our day-to-day life and move on. It's harder for people who instinctually want to please others. For others, people with a flight instinct, it's lots easier.

I'm not sure if this is really a spoiler, since it's mentioned in the book blurb.
McCurdy is a Late Discovery Adoptee Light. She finds out late in her developmental life that the man who raised her isn't her biological father. Mom is true DNA, though. As a full, early knowledge adoptee I can relate to some of her story. Especially her drive to find her biological father for answers. Yeppers, I'm right there with her.

I understood her disappointment and lack of closure. It's a bizarre, otherworldly feeling when you meet close relatives as adults for the first time. I imagine her situation felt stranger than mine, since she didn't have an entire lifetime to build up the varied fantasies that secret parents produce. But, in the aftermath, sometimes it's best to let that shit float away and focus on what you have to deal with in your present.

I sympathized a great deal with her other problems, even if I didn't share most of them. Existing in a “Look-at-Me!” world when you just want to hide, and be alone resonated strongly.

I'm not a big fan of celebrity books, but have read three this year. I wasn't a fan of the other two. McCurdy was completely unfamiliar to me. I'd never heard of her or of her two shows. Nickelodeon didn't become a thing until I was grown and married. This could have happened to anyone in my mind, and it definitely deserved the positive attention it got last year.

What happened with Steven? Why is Ari (boyfriend) not mentioned at all in the book except for in the acknowledgements?

It was well-written, and not at all as negative as the title implies, but I'm left with questions.

Fuuuck. I was not expecting that. I got this from the library because of the hype and I don't often do audiobooks because my brain doesn't seem to retain information delivered aurally but I'm glad I heard this in the author's voice. It's harrowing to hear what she went through; it's laid out in such a basic way, without caveats or excuses, that the trauma is obvious but never devolves into self-pity.

wow

frankly, i think the impact was lessened by how many chapters i've listened to on tiktok alongside subway surfers and soap cutting videos. lol

this audiobook was amazing. very candid, very strong writing, very eye opening, unfortunately relatable. some parts were hard to get through

I listened to the audio version. Hearing it in Jennette's voice made it much better than reading it with my eyes. I felt all the emotions. A couple of times I had to stop driving so that I could dry my eyes.

As a lover of celebrity memoirs, I totally recommend this one. It was an especially interesting read since I grew up watching Jennette on screen with absolutely no clue what was happening behind the scenes until I became an adult. I watched/listened to every podcast appearance and interview Jennette did before the release or even official announcement of the book, so I expected not to read much that I didn’t already know. However, the majority of the book was comprised of stories I didn’t hear elsewhere. These vignettes from McCurdy’s life, while heartbreaking, were crafted perfectly so as to not emotionally exhaust readers and the funny moments between the painful ones made the book an easier read all around.

Former child star McCurdy recalls what it was like growing up as an unwilling participant in her mother's dreams of acting, her adolescent and young adult years on the set of two Nickelodeon sitcoms, her mother's death, her struggles with alcoholism and eating disorders, and how she has learned to build her own life in the wake of trauma. She writes with warmth and humor as well as pathos. Though I wasn't in the age range to have watched iCarly, I could barely put this book down, reading it in less than 24 hours. Recommended to readers who enjoy a well-written memoir.

Wow that was a rollercoaster of emotions

2023 book #52. 2022. Read this for my book club and fully expected to hate it. I'm not much for celebrity autobiographies and I didn't even know who she was. But the book turned out to be pretty good. She has a sad story to tell and told it well.