Dylan Marron

Dylan Morran has a podcast, also called Conversations with People Who Hate Me, which started off as him having friendly, respectful one-on-one conversations with people who left him nasty comments online, and has since branched out to him moderating similar conversations between other people. Listening to it is always an interesting experience, because before every episode I'm always sort of instinctively bracing myself for the kind of stressed-out awfulness I tend to feel in the presence of serious conflict (particularly conflict about the kind of big, important issues the podcast usually addresses). But then, something amazing happens: almost always, I finish the episode feeling uplifted and with some of my faith in humanity restored.

In this book, Dylan talks a little bit about the origins and evolution of the podcast and the experience of making it, which I found interesting, especially the realization that the seemingly effortless compassion and equanimity I perceive from him on the podcast actually rest on top of plenty of self-doubt and insecurity and the same reflexive inclination towards wanting to score points off your interlocutor rather than actually engage with them that I think a lot of us have. Which is kind of nice to realize, honestly. Hey, if he can do it despite all that, then maybe the rest of us can do it, too, right?

Mostly, though, this book is about him sharing the things he's learned or realized through the process of making the podcast and talking to all these different people, many of whom he profoundly disagrees with. And his conclusions, while they're expressed in some fairly simple ways, are deeply insightful and really get at the heart of so many of the fundamental problems of our social media age. They're also incredibly helpful when it comes to sorting out my own conflicted thoughts and feelings about how to deal with all those people who are Wrong, Wrong, OMG So Wrong They're Part of Everything That's Wrong with the World Today, Aaaargh. In particular, his oft-repeated mantra that "empathy is not endorsement" may well be one of the most useful and comforting things I have ever heard anyone say.

I'll note that you don't have to have listened to the podcast to appreciate the book, and I'd recommend it whether you have or not.… (plus d'informations)