Sarah Costello

As an ace-spec person myself, the title of this one immediately snagged me - it's not universal, but damn if "sounds fake but okay" is not a widespread ace (or aro) reaction to allonormative (and amatonormative) everything.

However, while this book was interesting, I can't say that I recommend it. The most pervasive item that makes me say so is the entire theme of "aspec lenses" - the theme of the book, really; asking you to look through an aspec lens at the world, always - which is not a bad thing. When it was presented there was even a specific if you read this and felt superior to allos, please pipe down.

. . .and then the entire rest of the book proceeded to present it in such a way that it very much felt like aspec is superior, looking at things from an aspec perspective/through those lenses (which perspective/how to look was never actually defined or guided through) was the best/only way to really get a look at society both how it is and how it should be - regardless of the occasional reminders that all of this about aspec folks doesn't mean that allonormative or amatonormative or "expected" relationships and life goals are lesser or bad.… (plus d'informations)

This book is based on an asexual- and aromantic-themed podcast from two best friends, which has the same title as the book. Each chapter tackles a different topic through the lens of the asexual and aromantic spectrums: society, yourself, friendship, romance and partners, sex, family, and gender. There is a glossary of terms in the beginning of the book, which is very helpful. It's nice to spend time in a book with such a solidly a-spec point of view. I wouldn't consider this a beginner, intro to asexuality/aromanticism type of book, but would be fine to read in conjunction with such books. It's not particularly advanced either. I liked how the book included podcast listeners' experiences and perspectives, instead of just the two authors'. This is a worthy addition to the pantheon of asexual and aromantic books, and I would read it in addition to other books such as Refusing Compulsory Sexuality, which is from a Black asexual lens. This was a quick read and I recommend it.

See the full review, including trigger warnings, at https://fileundermichellaneous.blogspot.com/2023/05/book-review-sounds-fake-but-...… (plus d'informations)

I did not really enjoy this, primarily because I didn‘t feel like it added much to the conversation beyond the authors‘ personal experiences and the quotes from their interviewees. I wouldn‘t recommend this as an intro to the topics covered. In fact, if you are new to reading about aspec topics, some of the sections may leave you more confused. For example, I found some of the authors‘ metaphors to be unclear and inconsistent. In addition, there were several mentions of JKR which were unnecessary and destined to be controversial or inflammatory, or both. Overall, this was a missed opportunity. I would have preferred a collaborative memoir, expanding on the sections of personal narrative, or the book about ace relationships which the publisher initially proposed to the authors instead of another attempt at a primer.… (plus d'informations)