Jaliza A. Burwell

Crazy cakes

MarySue main character who is either badly written or has ADD crossed with multiple personality disorder. She cycles through emotionally states faster than a two year old hopped up on pixie stix.

Proofreading is needed. Some sentences are missing words, some words are missing letters.

Characters are defined by their descriptions and not by their actions, unless their actions are dramatic and overblown.

Oh look, a werewolf. And over here we have a vampire. Next up, a ‘black dog’, a golem, an elf, a dragon, and a witch.

She works at a security company, is a foster child, lives in a two floor penthouse she bought herself, is a genius, and has required healing twice in the first third of the book. But she is not part of a security team and the first injury was because she was trying to stop a mugger.

This is a mess masquerading as a book.… (plus d'informations)

Crazy cakes

MarySue main character who is either badly written or has ADD crossed with multiple personality disorder. She cycles through emotionally states faster than a two year old hopped up on pixie stix.

Proofreading is needed. Some sentences are missing words, some words are missing letters.

Characters are defined by their descriptions and not by their actions, unless their actions are dramatic and overblown.

Oh look, a werewolf. And over here we have a vampire. Next up, a ‘black dog’, a golem, an elf, a dragon, and a witch.

She works at a security company, is a foster child, lives in a two floor penthouse she bought herself, is a genius, and has required healing twice in the first third of the book. But she is not part of a security team and the first injury was because she was trying to stop a mugger.

This is a mess masquerading as a book.… (plus d'informations)