Axton Betz-HamiltonCritiques

Wow. A gripping and sad memoir of a woman who has lost her entire life to identity theft, and still can't quite connect to others.

Not only did it cast a pall over her childhood, adolescence and early adulthood, but Axton then spent her twenties and early thirties getting advanced degrees that focused on identity theft. It has shaped every aspect of her life.

powerful story of lies and manipulation

This is as well-written as any novel. I would recommend it to anyone: you don't have to be a victim of identity theft or financial exploitation to appreciate it, but if you grew up in a disturbed family dynamic it may be triggering.

Part of the reason it would appeal widely, and simultaneously part of the reason that it might be triggering, is that the financial shenanigans are occurring in the context of mental illness and just plain meanness, psychological manipulation, denial, lies, and emotional abuse along with estrangement (cutoffs, in family-therapy speak) and infidelity. It's a morass of dysfunction even without the money factor.

You find yourself rooting for Axton as she studies her way out of there, all the way to a Ph.D. and national recognition in her field. It's like a major plot thread in a novel: Will she make it? Yes! And part of what makes this such a powerful read is that she is so frank about the scars that she bears, about the tremendous cost at which she made it out, what it's still costing her.

All of this is only slowly revealed, however, as the outline of the book follows the author's growing traumatization, understanding/awareness, and power as she ages and matures. This actually makes it into kind of a page-turner: You really want to know what happens next! One night I stayed up two hours late reading a particularly intense section, another day I lost an hour of work on it. I did think I had it figured out about halfway through, much in the same way that one does while reading a murder mystery, but reviewers who complain about this miss the point: People who exploit others in this manner are (otherwise they couldn't do it) masters at deceit, taking advantage of the very traits that we prize in ourselves and others--honesty, faith, loyalty, love, and yes, sometimes blind trust in the very relatives, neighbors, friends or professionals who we count on to have our backs, not stab us in same. The victims don't have our perspective, our advantage of hindsight conferred by authors of memoirs or biographies.

It was disturbing, but I'm not sorry I read it, if only because I learned something new and 'met' someone in Dr. Betz-Hamilton that I can like and admire. If you're on the fence about reading it, I'd say go for it.

For student

I wish I had not tuned into this author's library program until AFTER I had read the book because she told us all about it and revealed who stole her identity. Had I read it first I am sure I would have been way more shocked - but as I read this memoir I knew what was coming. When Axton was a child her parents had their identity stolen and it made them fearful of everyone - who was doing this to them, why were checks bouncing and utilities getting cut off. It led for a lonely childhood. When she finally flew the coop and left for college, Axton was excited to leave the fear behind her and start the next chapter of her life, but unfortunately when she goes to get her own apartment she discovers that her credit is in the bottom 2% - it's beyond horrible. It turns out it wasn't just her parents with stolen identities - her had been too. Credit cards taken out in her name when she was just a child, the whole gambit. Axton makes it her mission to get to the bottom of it but sometimes the answers are worse than the problems. Heartbreaking - what a messed up little family.

Before instances of identity theft became unfortunately more frequent as the Internet became more of a staple in everyday life Axton Betz-Hamilton's parent's identities were stolen. Starting when she was eleven she watched her parents credit and their marriage deteriorate at a rapid pace. The banks, lenders and authorities didn't have rock solid methods established for dealing with identity theft so Axton's parents pleas for help seemed to fall on mostly deaf ears.

The identity theft seemed inescapable as it even followed them to different addresses after their personal information had also been changed. Confident that it was someone in their lives that knew them personally, Axton's parents isolated their family from the small town that they lived in - including family and friends. Growing up isolated, strangers, family and friends caused Axton to develop anxiety, panic attacks and an eating disorder at a very young age. Her mother became obsessed with perceptions of their family and accepted nothing less than perfection in public. As time continued without results of finding the culprit Axton not only grew up but also attended college. It was while she was attending college that Axton found out that it wasn't just her parents that became a target of the thief that had plagued her childhood.

I feel like true crime books are very hit or miss on the writing style and Axton definitely made it easy on us in her autobiography and/or memoir. Honestly this book could technically be considered both. Her book doesn't cover a lot of her story before the start of her teens but she has dealt with the aftermath of identity theft the majority of her life. Just the fact that she chose to essentially embrace what had happened to her and her family while turning it into something mostly positive for herself is inspiring. Not to mention after being a private person she chose to share her story with the masses in hopes of helping others. It has been a while since I've had similar connections with an author of anything I've read. Similarly to Axton I grew up in small town, on a farm and was a member of our local 4-H and my high school's FFA chapter as well.

If you are not already familiar with Axton's story do yourself a favor and DON'T Google her if you don't want to potentially spoil the book. I was nearly at the end and I wanted to look up something she'd referred to, I wish I hadn't - it spoiled the buildup of Axton finally finding out who had targeted her family nearly her whole life. Even though I ruined the discovery of who did it for myself the ending still blew me away. I literally cannot even imagine what that must have been like.

"Instead I was mad that our paranoia ran so deep it seemed to create canyons of silence between us and the people we should have been closest to."

I would highly recommend reading this book if you enjoy true crime, nonfiction, autobiographies, memoirs and mysteries. I would like to thank NetGalley and Grand Central Publishing for the chance to read this inspiring true crime novel. I would also like to thank Axton for sharing her life story and struggles with those who read her book, articles etc.

This book is about a family and its trips through life while significantly marred by one thing: identity theft.

For decades, this family was eked out of its money by somebody who was stealing their mail, their social security numbers, who created bank accounts in their names and made the credit scores for the individual members of the family sink to the very bottom.

That is discussed throughout the book, along with some scant stories about the family's life together. The writer is the young daughter of the family; today, she is a frequently-asked expert on identity theft.

I think I first heard about this book from a podcast episode where the author spoke about her ordeals, life, and actual conclusion of the entire matter.

Sadly, for me, that's where the gist of this book lay; it's not enough to fan out in book form. Where somebody like Tara Westover, whose Educated is written by somebody who carries both fact and flair equally well, this book is quite light-weight and contains far more filler than killer. One good thing about this book is that it's very easily read.

Here's an opening section of the book:

It had been a long day at school and the roots of a headache had planted themselves near the outer corners of my eyes. There were hours of homework in my immediate future but as I walked through the parking lot of my building, I wistfully considered a nap. The manila envelope I found folded over and jammed in my mailbox was the last thing I wanted to deal with. With a groan of resignation, I yanked it from the box. It was a lot bigger than I had expected a credit report to be. Must come with a lot of instructions, I thought. Most of me wanted to drop it by the front door and forget about it for a while, but I leaned against the arm of my hand-me-down, green-floral-print couch with my legs crossed and tore it open instead.

There have been a few moments in my life when reality has skipped in front of me like a broken television—and I remember this one in slow motion. Sliding my finger under the thick flap of that envelope, feeling the adhesive give way and the paper tear in jagged intervals—those were the last indelible sensations of an existence I understood. And then, as sure as the sharp edges of paper in my hands, another existence took its place. A new life, a different identity. I did not find any instructions inside the envelope.

Instead, I found the report, with the bulk of a term paper, full of fraudulent credit card charges and collection agency entries in my name. Discover, Bank One, First USA. Pages of numbers and dates as foreign as a language I did not speak. The first line of credit had been opened in 1993, when I was eleven. That was the year my parents’ identities had been stolen.

My credit score was 380. For a merciful second I thought maybe that was good. After all, 100 is perfect. It always had been in school, anyway. Then I saw the corresponding key. My score of 380 placed me in the second percentile of all scorers in the United States. About as low as it gets. As my body folded over the arm of the couch, my mind struggled to make sense of these bizarre numbers. Surely they’ll know—I was just a kid; I couldn’t have done this. I felt the sting of tears on my cheeks. Who would do this to me?

This book would have fared a lot better had it been written with better style.

The best parts of the book aren't contained in The Big Reveal but in how the author writes of family fights and how far this gigantic scam went.

I can't recommend this book, but if you're a quick reader and keen for some true crime, I guess this is OK, even though there are plenty of books like it that I preferred reading.

The Less People Know About Us: A Mystery of Betrayal, Family Secrets and Stolen Identity
by Axton Betz-Hamilton
2019
Grand Central
4.0 / 5.0

Every family has secrets; unwritten laws of the family. Sometimes truth can be stranger than fiction, and betrayal as thick as blood.

In this true crime memoir, Axton Betz-Hamilton shares her family's secrets, and the betrayal that led her to a life long career. Her past experiences and strong convictions have convinced her to become an expert in identity theft, and has helped many in the same situation.

Growing up in a small town in Indiana, in the early 1990's, Axton's mother was obsessed with the Home Shopping Network, and her father was obsessed with raising donkeys. When mail began disappearing, no one thought much of it, even as it continued to disappear for 20 years. The identity of the identity thief would not be revealed until a death in the family. Its a shocker that made my blood run cold.

Written with a passionate and emotive narrative that drives the story and brings out the depth of trauma, loss and destabilization her family experienced.

Heart-wrenching and unforgettable.

The Less People Know About Us, by Axton Betz-Hamilton is a memoir about identity theft and psychopathy/narcissism to break the bank, kind of literally. Betz-Hamilton's family was victimized by an identity thief virtually her entire life into her late 20s/early 30s or so; the identity of the thief shook her to the core and made her question nearly everything about her life to that point. If you google her or read any media about the story you will learn the identity of that person immediately but the book is written as a chronological mystery which in my opinion diminishes the power of the revelation. It's a fascinating story (especially if you have any personal experience with identity theft) and Betz-Hamilton is a good writer but she doesn't structure the book to give it maximum impact. I did read an interview she did (she did a lot of media before being approached to write the book in her ongoing search for information about the thief) so I did know who the thief was and this definitely colored my reading of the book. If you like memoir this is a solid choice but again I felt like the story was let down a little by the way she told it. Someone more skilled in the use of dramatic irony could have made this a much sharper and more painful story, though it's really horrible as-is.½