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If I Must

par Amy Lane

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Erotic Literature. Fiction. Romance. LGBTQIA+ (Fiction.) Joel Martinez, a practical and organized computer programmer, is roommates with Ian Cooper, a certified IQ-in-the- stratosphere mathematical genius who literally can't find his own underwear in the mess of his day-to-day life. When Joel uneasily leaves Ian for the holidays, he ends up telling stories to his sister and discovers he feels much more for Ian than he thought. So when Ian calls, distraught because the only other thing in his life that loves him (a half-feral cat named Manky Bastard) is going to have to be put down, Joel hurries back home hoping that opposites really do attract.… (plus d'informations)
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I still can't figure out if these two got what they wanted and I felt most of the time that Joel felt obligated to Ian. Something more was needed here but I don't know what. ( )
  Reenz38 | May 6, 2023 |
If I Must was chosen for me as one of my January ‘Dusty Bookshelf Challenge’ reads at ‘The Challenge Factory’ group.


I have one word for this book. Charming. A little bit of angst, a touch of humor and a HEA in a quick read. If I Must is told in third person through the eyes of Joel Martinez a computer programmer as he relates his memories of his roommate Ian Cooper, to his sister over Thanksgiving vacation. Ian is a mathematical genius, but lives so much in his head he can barely function in his own life. That is until Joel came along and made Ian’s world ‘real.’ I get the feeling that Ian was never loved as he grew up, but only valued for his genius. How he survived without people taking advantage of him through the years is beyond me, but belief will need to be suspended for this story. I sensed Ian’s loneliness and his desire to be loved and it made my heart ache for him. Joel grounds Ian to the real world. He organizes Ian’s life and makes Ian’s life worth living instead of just existing with the numbers and theories in his head. In return Ian gives Joel a purpose to his life and makes him feel needed.

One thing I had trouble with was that Ian sounded a bit ‘slow.’ I get that he was a genius and I don’t think it was that he was just socially inept. It was his speech pattern that made me think that Ian was not ‘all there’ and not because he was in his head working on abstract ideas.

The characters were easily pictured even in the short span of time we get to know them. I wish however, we got to know them a bit more because they were enjoyable to read.

The first part of the book was told with current memories switching off with past memories. It was disorienting for me and I didn’t like it all that much. But I suppose in a way it resembled Ian’s way of being outside his head and being inside his head.

The other thing I didn’t like was the overuse of the description, ‘rolled his eyes.’ Joel did a lot of rolling of the eyes, especially in the beginning of the story. I dislike it when an author overuses a term instead of expressing an action in a different way.

In the end I enjoyed If I Must although I wish it was longer so we could have had a closer and deeper look at Joel and Ian. I give this 3.5 Stars rounded up to 4 Stars because Goodreads doesn’t give half stars.




( )
  Penumbra1 | Oct 11, 2022 |
Such a sweet story! Ian was just slightly eccentric but I think that is not something that is dealt with a lot in books. I think Amy did a great job portraying someone who is absolutely brilliant academically but then socially naive. One thing that did bother me is that as brilliant as he was, he had never heard about STD's? As socially naive, he was having a lot of sex? That seemed a bit of a disconnect for me. But overall, I loved the relationship between Joel and Ian. And would have LOVED to have another chapter or two that showed Joel's sister come to visit. :-) ( )
  ktomp17 | Mar 21, 2021 |
I like the story well enough, but it's too smooth, there is no conflict, nothing to look forward to as the story progresses.
( )
  Mrella | Mar 8, 2021 |
This is definitely a feel-nice story, set just before Thanksgiving.

The very practical Joel runs into super-intelligent Ian and becomes his roommate, helping him organize his life. A friendship develops which Joel refuses to see as more until his mother and sister help him overcome his (now dead) father's prejudice against being gay. Once that happens, nothing can stop the two from becoming lovers.

The characters were real and funny, each in their own way. There were quite a few memories and flashbacks for such a short book, but on the whole I thought it was very enjoyable.

( )
  SerenaYates | Oct 19, 2017 |
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Joel very carefully taped the phone list on the refrigerator, and then his itinerary, and then the magnetic calendar with the dry-erase reminders, all in bold, black, square, print-block writing.
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Erotic Literature. Fiction. Romance. LGBTQIA+ (Fiction.) Joel Martinez, a practical and organized computer programmer, is roommates with Ian Cooper, a certified IQ-in-the- stratosphere mathematical genius who literally can't find his own underwear in the mess of his day-to-day life. When Joel uneasily leaves Ian for the holidays, he ends up telling stories to his sister and discovers he feels much more for Ian than he thought. So when Ian calls, distraught because the only other thing in his life that loves him (a half-feral cat named Manky Bastard) is going to have to be put down, Joel hurries back home hoping that opposites really do attract.

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