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Cheerful Money: Me, My Family, and the Last Days of Wasp Splendor

par Tad Friend

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Tad Friend's family is nothing if not illustrious: his father was president of College, and at Smith his mother came in second in a poetry contest judged by W.H. Auden -- to Sylvia Plath. For centuries, Wasps like his ancestors dominated American life. But then, in the '60s, their fortunes began to fall. As a young man, Tad noticed that his family tree, for all its glories, was full of alcoholics, depressives, and reckless eccentrics. Yet his identity had already been shaped by the family's age-old traditions and expectations. Part memoir, part family history, and part cultural study of the long swoon of the American Wasp, Cheerful Money is a captivating examination of a cultural crack-up and a man trying to escape its wreckage.… (plus d'informations)
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» Voir aussi les 11 mentions

Affichage de 1-5 de 9 (suivant | tout afficher)
Boring, sadly. Started 9/1/16, gave up on 9/19/16.
  liz.mabry | May 13, 2019 |
5601. Cheerful Money Me, My Family, and the Last Days of Wasp Splendor, by Tad Friend (read 5 Dec 2018) I had this book and for no good reason decided to read it, and since I usually finish books I start I did finish it. There seems little point to the account which the author, now a writer for the New Yorker, tells of himself, his family, their social status, and their lives which I found of minimal interest. Before the author finally married he did lots of fornicating, which he blandly tells of, to my boredom. He spends years seeing a psychologist, for no reason which made sense to me. He writes clearly but I could find no reason to hail his life and existence. ( )
1 voter Schmerguls | Dec 5, 2018 |
I picked up this book because 1) I like Tad Friend's writing in The New Yorker, 2) I am a WASP, 3) I attended Swarthmore College, where Friend's father was President from 1973 - 1982, and, 4) said father gave me a one hour oral exam in American History as part of Swarthmore's Honors program (before he was President). I passed.

Friend's examination of his WASP family and friends produces a number of witty vignettes. Here are some of the best.

"Wasps love mud because it - along with beach sand in the sheets - is their only sanctioned form of filth. You are allowed and even encouraged to get dirty on a birding ramble or in a game of touch football. Such stains are dueling scars, noble marks of privilege and leisure. It's discretionary mud, clean mud."

* * *
"Grievances in my family are like underground coal fires: hard to detect and nearly impossible to extinguish."

* * *
"Wasp tableware is anything that abhors the dishwasher: gold-rimmed chargers, etched-crystal wineglasses, pedestaled fruit plates, egg spoons of translucent horn. My parents' inherited silver alone included mint-julep spoons, bouillon spoons, demitasse spoons, a stuffing spoon, a berry spoon, a pea spoon, sugar tongs, a butter pick, a pickle fork, a lettuce fork, a cocoa pot, salt tubs, and an egg warmer."

* * *
"[B]oozing was permitted, even encouraged, in our world, as long as it conformed to protocols designed to avert that word 'alcoholic.' There are, after all, only a few circumstances in which Wasps may properly drop their guard: charades or costume parties; roughhousing with dogs, who enact their owner's feelings by proxy; and cocktail hour, the solvent of all care."

* * *
"An older Wasp friend remarks, 'The new rich behave as if they don't have to deserve spending their money. Whereas when I took my family to Nevis recently, I had to tell myself, 'I'm going to die soon.' The prospect of a swift and retributive death makes giving yourself pleasure just tolerable. Otherwise it's too close to masturbation.' "

* * *
"If Catholic guilt is 'I've been bad' and Jewish guilt is 'You've been bad,' then Wasp guilt is 'You probably think I've been bad.' Wasp guilt derives from knowing your ancestors would say you'd let down the side."

The book presents these trenchant observations as it meanders through Friend's life, his loves, his endless analysis and, mostly, his family and relations (both close and distant). The Family Tree at the start of the book provides only minimal help in sorting through nicknames, friends, and relations who did not make "the tree." But Friend's writing is so good that you don't really have to know who he is writing about to enjoy what he is saying. ( )
  bbrad | Jan 25, 2016 |
I'm all about WASPs. This book was a fascinating family history, but much less funny than I was led to believe. That's okay though. ( )
  eas311 | Jul 12, 2010 |
I have finished Tad Friend'sCheerful Money. It is not unlike The Big House by George Howe Colt except that Friend has a wider ambition which is no less than to attempt to capture a culture in its 'last days' through the medium of his own family ...... I wanted to write 'death throes' only that seems overly dramatic for a group that seems more to be fading away than going out with any sort of fanfare. More than once I found myself wondering how any of this could possibly be interesting to anyone NOT a Wasp. Does anyone care anymore? Isn't that the point? Unlike the aristocrats of Europe, this class, though for awhile its members dominated the country financially, socially, and politically have had no lasting power -nor have they much lingering cachet: no titles to attract social climbers, no entailed and protected estates in some drafty corner of which they moulder quaintly, nothing but swifty evaporating trust funds.... And yet I suspect this class on the whole is both more sly and more resilient than Friend give them credit for, that the special breed of east coast Wasp persists fairly intact even without dumbwaiters, fingerbowls and silent butlers albeit in muted and even mutated form, but nowhere near dead and gone. At the same time, it seems to be a sign of the basic health of American society that this group has been displaced not by any one monolithic new group (say the Goths over the Romans) but more it has mainly become simply one of many. ( )
  sibylline | Feb 28, 2010 |
Affichage de 1-5 de 9 (suivant | tout afficher)
While “Cheerful Money” is hedged about by a certain chilly intelligence, the pain on display between the lines feels genuine indeed. It’s enough to leave a reader hoping that Friend’s young children will spend their own lives at a healthy distance from the family tree.
 
Friend reconstructs a string of family secrets—including the circumstances under which his maternal grandfather left his family, buried under a nest of falsehoods by his cheerfully distant mother. These, he uses as a prism for viewing his duty of ministering to his own lonely dad and contemplating his children’s birth. But he builds on the opportunity to play archaeologist to a disappearing stratum of culture, not just a familial decline.
 
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From an upstairs window, I see my father walking away down his snowy lawn.
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Tommy was the sort of man the Japanese have in mind when they say that there are four fearsome things: Earthquake, Thunder, Fire, and Father. [p.221]
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Tad Friend's family is nothing if not illustrious: his father was president of College, and at Smith his mother came in second in a poetry contest judged by W.H. Auden -- to Sylvia Plath. For centuries, Wasps like his ancestors dominated American life. But then, in the '60s, their fortunes began to fall. As a young man, Tad noticed that his family tree, for all its glories, was full of alcoholics, depressives, and reckless eccentrics. Yet his identity had already been shaped by the family's age-old traditions and expectations. Part memoir, part family history, and part cultural study of the long swoon of the American Wasp, Cheerful Money is a captivating examination of a cultural crack-up and a man trying to escape its wreckage.

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