Funnily enough, I read this book last even though it was the first one that Summers wrote on the subject. Stranger in the House focuses on the men returning from the war and the effects that the war and separation from hearth and home had on themselves and the women in their lives. In the early 20th century, there was no real understanding of PTSD of which many POW (especially those who were imprisoned in the Far East and worked on the Burma Thailand Railway) suffered. On average, they were only expected to live a further 15 years because of the severity of their wounds and the maltreatment that went on for such an extended period of time. Those that lived beyond this were not considered 'lucky'. Most of the men who returned from war never again connected with their families because they were so changed and nothing of their experiences was ever discussed. Because Summers used secondhand accounts from the wives, daughters, and granddaughters coupled with primary written sources this is a unique perspective on a much discussed topic. 8/10 ( )

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/non_fictionreviews/3561979/Review-Stran... Not every man returning from the Second World War received a hero's welcome, finds Juliet Nicolson

After the Second World War sales of garden sheds rocketed. All over Britain, a large proportion of the four million demobilised soldiers found that their interrupted home lives were no longer recognisable. Surprised and alarmed, they sought solitary refuge and comfort among the orderly jars of nails and screws. But it was the women who found the adjustment to The Stranger in the House most difficult.

For the purpose of this moving book, Julie Summers spoke to more than 100 women for whom family life was altered forever by "the dislocation caused by six years of separation". For six lonely years mothers, daughters, grandmothers, girlfriends, fiancées, aunts and sisters endured the deprivations of the war, longing for the day when the men they loved would come home. But the reality of their reunions was sometimes disappointing, disturbing and even tragic. When the two-year process of demobilisation was complete, women often found that much-missed loved ones had become unloveable and impossible to live with.

It is in the courage, honesty and vividness of these first-hand accounts that the power of these reminiscences lies. The romance of a BBC programme assistant, Monica Littleboy, with the charming, courteous George Symington, who had "swept into (my) heart", is one of the book's most affecting stories. George had been released from a prisoner of war camp "misshapen, pitted and scarred". But out of pity Monica married him.

Despite the eagerly awaited physical presence of the men, an emotional disconnection almost synonymous with absence developed. Many soldiers had suffered in ways they found both impossible to speak about and from which they would never recover. While one soldier had acquired a love of opera and fine wine from a war spent in Italy, sustained shock, alcoholism and fear were the more common legacy.

Those who had been away fighting for their country were surprised to find that life at home had not remained stationary. Parents had been buried, dogs had died, girlfriends had married someone else, children had been born and love affairs had been consummated. A more subtle shift had also occurred. Women had assumed the male role, managing the home while earning the wage that sustained a fatherless family.

Despite the recent trench experiences of the First War, the mental scarring of soldiers was still only sketchily understood. Women were left floundering at the prospect of healing their damaged men. The novelist and wartime welfare officer Barbara Cartland was confronted by "goggle-eyed" army padres when she tried to get them to recognise the sexual and emotional problems provoked by the enforced separations of the war. Women were a little more sensitive to women's difficulties.

But although the first-ever agony aunt, Woman's Own's Leonora Eyles, responded to her readers' letters with some compassion, even she believed that women should be responsible for restoring harmony to relationships. One woman, in despair at the thought of confessing to her husband the news of the arrival of an illegitimate child during his absence, was urged to "find a foster mother and go to work to pay for the baby's keep". As one wife explained, "when their war ended, our war began".

This is also a book about the men and their difficulty in adjusting to a life where work was no longer guaranteed and where the excitement and intensity of comradership as well as the danger of war were absent. "Terror, horror, anger, pity, brutality, idealism, bravery, exultation and ecstasy" had filled their lives. In humdrum post-war existence, boredom threatened to topple some.

The demanding practicalities of life in a war-exhausted country were evident: houses had been bombed, unemployment was common, food was still rationed, and children "seem to have skidded out into life rather than to have grown up".

The children's responses to the return of their fathers are perhaps the most moving of all. The presence of a frequently fragile-tempered stranger was difficult to accept. Sometimes the emotions surrounding their parents' reunion were so powerful that the children felt closed out from a mother's previously unchallenged affection. Major Don Kerr could not tolerate the sound of his children's chatter; they were sent to bed before their angry father's return from his office. Years after the end of the war the daughter of a soldier who had served time in a prison camp in Japan bought herself a Toyota car and was taken aback when her aunt "hit the roof" at the perceived treachery of her purchase.

This is a book full of sad stories, and perhaps the saddest of all belongs to one small boy who told his father: "I wish you were back in the Army - we were happy until you got home." ( )

Interesting recent social history. ( )

This book is exactly what it says in the title - women's stories of what happened when their men returned from the war, told from the point of view of mothers, wives and daughters. There are some heart-warming stories, tales of love surviving years of separation and trauma. There are also some very moving histories, particularly those about the long-lasting impact that imprisonment in Japanese prison of war camps had on men and repercussions for their families.

Not only did women have to cope with the physical and mental effects of the war on their partners, but very often they had to restrict their own lives and the independence they may have experienced during the war to care for these damaged men. Every story told by those interviewed by Summers involves a wife getting on with the lot she has been given whatever that means for the rest of her life. However, many of the men seem not to have realised what sacrifices were made for them or the difficult lives that women experienced while they were away at war. I suppose neither person could truly understand the other's experiences.

Summers also highlights the plight of women caught up in extramarital affairs during the war, how they could be ostracised and how men dealt with their wife's infidelity.

Summers writes with obvious warmth for the women who have told her their stories. It's an interesting and sometimes moving read. My only criticism is that I would have liked a bit more context about how society in general was coming to terms with the end of the war alongside the personal stories. She mentions the shockingly small pensions that war widows received and that a support group for these women wasn't formed until the 1970s, but I think I needed a bit more about the immediate post-war years, a time I know little about. ( )

found today 8/2/2013 1 of 20 books for $10