This book covers a lot in a fairly small number of pages. The introduction states that it's intended for all ace and aro people, as well as those who'd like to be allies, but the authors particularly hope to reach people who might not already be involved in online ace and/or aro communities. If you're truly new to information about ace and aro identities, be prepared for lots of flipping to the glossary in the back as the authors use lots of terminology that isn't always defined in-text. (And, er, if you're like me and are having trouble finding a term in the glossary and it begins with either ace or aro, try chopping that part off and looking for the rest of the word. For example, aceflux or aroflux are under F for "flux.")

The first chapter goes over reasons people might identify as aro or ace, as well as the basics of various models and types of attraction and orientation. The next chapter broadly covers ace and aro history, culture, and communities, common symbols used, and representation in media.

Then the authors lay out the identity development model they use as the framework for the rest of the book: "ignorance," "discovery of terminology," "identity confusion," "exploration and education," "identity acceptance and salience negotiation," "coming out," and "identity integration." To be clear, the authors aren't trying to say that everyone has to go through every part, in that order, and they recognize that some people will need to go through various parts multiple times throughout their lives.

With each part, the authors cover multiple topics/concerns/issues that may or may not apply to readers, along with applicable quotes from surveys ace and aro folks, as well as occasional bulleted lists of advice. Most of it boils down to "you're not alone, do or think about as much or as little of this as is comfortable for you, and remember that you know your own experiences and feelings better than anyone else."

The chapter that had me perking up was "Identity Acceptance and Salience Negotiation" (hey, people with similar fears about the future...and not necessarily any answers). The "Coming Out" chapter was lengthy and included various approaches, their pros and cons, and examples - something about the level of detail was a bit anxiety-inducing for me.

The book wraps up with a glossary (which is helpful but may not age well as terminology shifts, expands, or changes), a list of aromantic and asexual organizations and online forums and groups, and people to follow. There's an annotated list of nonfiction (yay!), a non-exhaustive list of ace and aro characters from non-book media, and a list of zines and other resources. There's also a blank "Will, Want, Won't" table that would likely be useful for readers in, or contemplating being in, relationships, as well as ace and aro "coming out" bingo cards (I get why those were included, but they still make me wince).

Overall, I thought this was a good and very readable guide, particularly for folks who, for whatever reason, aren't comfortable with or able to do some digging through online resources right out of the gate. It tries to encompass as broad of an ace/aro audience as possible, although, as other reviewers and the authors themselves note, its resources are fairly US-centric.

One thing I'd liked to have seen more of was lengthier quotes from people surveyed. The brief illustrative quotes were nice, but it would occasionally have been nice to hear a bit more about particular people's experiences, thoughts, concerns, etc. Well, maybe there's already a book that does something like that - I'll have to see.

(Original review posted on A Library Girl's Familiar Diversions.) ( )