The title of this book drew me in as well as the subject, since it’s a memoir of a woman as she recollects the events leading her to give up her child for adoption. Even more intriguing is the fact that following that traumatic event, she and the birth father go on to get married and have several additional children, full siblings to the first child that was given up for adoption. As a reader, I expected this to be a “search for the missing child” memoir, however, it became much more of a first-person minute by minute description of what led to the pregnancy, the dysfunctional home that the author grew up in and believed was somewhat responsible for circumstance leading to the pregnancy, and an in-depth review of her own personality. Very little of this book was devoted to the successful reunion with her first child, and that, in fact, seemed quite anti-climactic, which is why I gave this book only a 3 star. An intriguing start, but a bit disappointing throughout. ( )

Loved it

This is the first memoir that I have ever read and I loved it. When I first started reading, I didn’t think this book would appeal to me much, but that changed very quickly. Everything was beautifully written and the storytelling was amazing. She does a wonderful job of taking the reader with her though the entire story (literally starting with herself being adopted and ending present day.
I also like how throughout the book she brings in science and facts and also has some pictures in there too. It really helps connect you to the story and remind you that this is a real story that actually happened. And speaking of real story, I also really liked how through her story we can also learn about the time period and how things were back then. I just think that’s really cool.
I feel like she was the perfect person to write this book, knowing both sides of the story (being adopted herself and then having to put her child up for adoption). I really enjoyed reading this book and I would definitely recommend it. ( )

Right off the bat, I want to say that I am not a huge fan of the Memoir genre of books. Most of the time, I end up wanting to hear more information about a certain thing (that the author doesn’t delve into) and don’t really care about other things that they take a lot of time to talk about. I have never been really impressed with a memoir. That includes those of famous and not so famous people.

The topic seems interesting enough (an adoptee places her first child for adoption at 16… I can get on board with that kind of drama!) So here is the basic story… A young Marylee gets pregnant with her first child at 16, by her slightly (at 18) older boyfriend. While she desperately wants to get married, he has more that he wants to do with his life (attend West Point, etc.) so they place the child for adoption. Straightforward enough, right?
Well, while I thought this would be a book detailing her search for her first child, it ended up being really all about her. The details of her finding and meeting her first son were a fraction of the book. Most of the book detailed her journey, from adolescence to pregnant, and the afterwards. Very little had to do with the here and now, and if she was able to establish and maintain a relationship with her first child.

I really liked some of her descriptions of things, and her writing style was easy to read and absorb. She did jump around a little bit (first starting in the end, discussing a move later in life to Phoenix, then talking about the reunion with her son and finally going to the beginning) but I didn’t mind that, and generally things were in (backwards) chronological order.

What I didn’t like… First, I found all the “characters” in her life (including Marylee herself) difficult to like. Marylee seems self-absorbed and someone that I have difficulty relating to — Maybe because I’m generations younger than she is?? I found her first husband (father of her first baby, who she ends up finally marrying after the adoption) to be portrayed very poorly. He seems like an uncaring, sex crazed young man who has little regard for Marylee and what she wants. I’m assuming he is “better” than that, since she goes on to marry him eventually, but he doesn’t seem like a real winner to me…
Marylee’s parents were not portrayed in a great light either. She writes about her mother as an ugly, emotionally distant woman that forced her to place her child for adoption. Her father she portrays as an abusive man that her mother eventually divorces, but both Marylee and her mother live in fear that he will find them…

Overall, this was an eye opening read. I definitely got into knowing her story, but ultimately it ended up where all other memoirs are for me… I don’t hear enough about what interests me, and too much about things that don’t. I think that some people (adoptees, possibly?) may really connect with her story and may find it to be a great story. For me, it just fell a little flat. ( )

Coincidentally, I read this book immediately after reading The Notorious RBG. Both reflect on how society and women's rights have changed over the last 60 years. During the author's childhood, there was no practical sex education and teenagers had no access to birth control or abortion. Marylee, an adoptee herself, is forced to surrender her firstborn child, who is a result of her unplanned pregnancy when she is 15 years old. Years later she seeks out her son and forms a relationship. She discusses the circumstances of her own adoption and her relationship with her adoptive parents, who are far from ideal. She has no autonomy and is forced to go to a home for unwed mothers, which is degrading and isolating. She grieves for her lost baby about whom she is not allowed to know anything. Her boyfriend is not at all sympathetic to her about the baby. This memoir is well written and compelling. The only negative thing I can say is that the writer's opinion on adoption is that it is a bad thing for the child involved. Not every adoption situation is tragic. I suspect that the screening of adoptive parents in the 1940-1970s was poor compared to today, putting adopted children into precarious situations. ( )

Surrender by Marylee MacDonald is an emotionally wrought memoir of the hard choices a woman is forced into when she becomes pregnant out of wedlock. MacDonald writes poignantly about her personal experiences and shares many nuggets of wisdom, though what was most striking about MacDonald's account is that it is not a unique one. During the 1970s, women in similar circumstances were often sent away and forced to give their infants up for adoption, thereby causing irreparable harm to both mother and child. If anything, MacDonald's memoir highlights the importance of providing women with essential support and resources such as birth control and sexual health care.

Note: my review is based on an excerpt