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Biography & Autobiography.
Family & Relationships.
Self-Improvement.
Nonfiction.
HTML:In a deeply personal and moving book, the beloved NPR radio host speaks out about the long drawn-out death (from Parkinson's) of her husband of fifty-four years, and of her struggle to reconstruct her life without him.
With John gone, Diane was indeed "on her own," coping with the inevitable practical issues and, more important, with the profoundly emotional ones. What to do, how to react, how to reach out again into the world--struggling to create a new reality for herself while clinging to memories of the past. The focus is on her own roller-coaster experiences, but she has also solicited the moving stories of such recently widowed friends as Roger Mudd and Susan Stamberg, which expose the reader to a remarkable range of reactions to the death of a spouse.
John's unnecessarily extended death--he begged to be helped to die--culminated in his taking matters into his own hands, simply refusing to take food and medication until pneumonia claimed him. His heroic actions spurred Diane into becoming a kind of poster person for the Right to Die movement that is all too slowly taking shape in our country. With the brave determination that has characterized her whole life, she is finding a meaningful new way to contribute to the world. Her book--as practical as it is inspiring--will be a help and a comfort to the recently bereaved, and a beacon of hope about the possibilities that remain as we approach eighty.
2.5 stars. This book is deeply emotional, open, and honest. Rehm clearly has strong feelings about her support for aid in dying at the end of a terminal illness. Her belief is that it would allow a dying person a measure of control over their life. I don't much agree with her arguments - after all, the idea that we can always control what happens to us is a fallacy. She described her vision and hope of an afterlife as "childish" and a "fantasy." On her radio show (which I really admire and enjoy), Rehm seems like such a strong, independent women. This book painted such a different picture of her! She discussed her husband's "confession" that he was emotionally abusive. She then kind of glossed over it (or at least didn't go into any more detail). Then, she went on to gush about how much she adored him and how amazing he was. Her description of her relationship with her children just plain made me sad. Overall, the book read like a personal journal of someone working through her grief - a bit too rambling and disorganized for my tastes. A person who has been through a similar situation as Rehm's may enjoy it more than I did. Sadly, after reading it, I don't think I will listen to her show in the same way. ( )
Rehm's book is a true gift. She offers an intimate look into her experience of her husband's disease, his death, her grief, their marriage, her career; along with her ruminations on a myriad of social issues particularly focusing on compassionate end of life choices. At it's core, however, On My Own is a love letter to her beloved spouse. Her words, full of such honesty and beauty, left an imprint on my heart. She writes: "So now I move forward, still grieving, but knowing that my husband will always be part of my life, a huge part, and I shall love him forever." ( )
Rehm is a terrific interviewer but not a terrific author. This book, although attempting a personal and very significant set of topics, remains at arm's length, absent of new insights, and absent any coherent structure. It is a collection of journal entries, and could have been made so much better with a deep self-examining dive into what grief is, or a structure that could perhaps explore how it changes over the first year after a loss. Rehm should stick to interviewing. ( )
This book wasn't as interesting as I thought it would be. It's a memoir by Diane Rehm on the death of her husband from Parkinson's. It seems to be a collection of columns about her feelings in dealing with her husband's decision to kill himself by refusing food and water when he feels he can't continue. She makes a case for the right to die group and I can certainly understand her feelings about this. I guess I wanted to hear from her husband about his feelings as well. ( )
Informations provenant du Partage des connaissances anglais.Modifiez pour passer à votre langue.
This book is dedicated to the memory of John Rehm
Premiers mots
Informations provenant du Partage des connaissances anglais.Modifiez pour passer à votre langue.
On June 14, 2014, my husband John Rehm—age eighty-three—began his withdrawal from life.
Citations
Informations provenant du Partage des connaissances anglais.Modifiez pour passer à votre langue.
John comes to me now in short sentences, in words of encouragement, in moments of concern.
As I heard people's comments that day about what John had meant to them and how his example had influenced them, I found myself wondering why we wait to say such important words to people we genuinely care for and admire.
The bed has always been such a powerful symbol—of beauty, of love, of hostility, of anger, and of peace.
But I am grieving. I realize I want to be by myself, with my memories and my tears. I don't want to be in the company of others, even good friends, who are laughing and sharing ideas and stories.
But as I lie there, trying hard to recall every detail before it drifts away, the details become less important than the overall feeling I'm left with: fear. The fear of being left alone. There is no one to protect me. I am alone, by myself, with total responsibility for myself. John is gone, and my dream reminds me to acknowledge how his no longer being on this earth makes me feel. I say I'm okay, to everyone who asks. And outwardly, I am. But there is clearly that part of me, deep down, going all the way back to childhood, that remains afraid of being left alone.
How do I start navigating the world from a changed perspective, that of living without a spouse?
To this day—and as I write I am seventy-eight years old—I grieve the loss of my parents, most especially my mother. I never got to know who she was, never understood her sadness, never realized the losses she had experienced, never grasped why we had such a difficult relationship.
But does any human being really know another?
The Team of Rehm is no longer.
"It was all lonely in the beginning, with and without people. Something was missing. I'd become the focus of attention wherever I went, but I wasn't the most important person in anybody's life anymore. When I go out for a walk, there's no longer anybody in the world who knows where I am. I miss the mirror that Lou was."
How do I share the grief that comes in waves, or that wakes me in the night?
I choose not to live in the negative past.
The idea of suffering as being noble does not persuade me that extending life for the sake of someone else's religious beliefs or social philosophy is fair or even reasonable.
Death is final, but grief is ongoing.
It's my grief, my very own, and I know that as I experience it and allow it to be part of who and what I am, I shall grow.
Derniers mots
Informations provenant du Partage des connaissances anglais.Modifiez pour passer à votre langue.
I can only hope that this is the message I convey to those around me.
Références à cette œuvre sur des ressources externes.
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▾Descriptions de livres
Biography & Autobiography.
Family & Relationships.
Self-Improvement.
Nonfiction.
HTML:In a deeply personal and moving book, the beloved NPR radio host speaks out about the long drawn-out death (from Parkinson's) of her husband of fifty-four years, and of her struggle to reconstruct her life without him.
With John gone, Diane was indeed "on her own," coping with the inevitable practical issues and, more important, with the profoundly emotional ones. What to do, how to react, how to reach out again into the world--struggling to create a new reality for herself while clinging to memories of the past. The focus is on her own roller-coaster experiences, but she has also solicited the moving stories of such recently widowed friends as Roger Mudd and Susan Stamberg, which expose the reader to a remarkable range of reactions to the death of a spouse.
John's unnecessarily extended death--he begged to be helped to die--culminated in his taking matters into his own hands, simply refusing to take food and medication until pneumonia claimed him. His heroic actions spurred Diane into becoming a kind of poster person for the Right to Die movement that is all too slowly taking shape in our country. With the brave determination that has characterized her whole life, she is finding a meaningful new way to contribute to the world. Her book--as practical as it is inspiring--will be a help and a comfort to the recently bereaved, and a beacon of hope about the possibilities that remain as we approach eighty.
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