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Breaking the Male Code: Unlocking the Power of Friendship

par Robert Garfield

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Calling for a new men's movement, a noted psychotherapist examines the critical role close male friendships play in helping men lead happy, healthy lives. For much of the past century, men have operated under the rules of Male Code, a rigid set of guidelines that equate masculinity with stoicism, silence, and strength. As men's roles have changed over the past few decades, this lingering pressure to hide their emotions has wreaked havoc on men's lives. Lacking the ability to communicate their needs, desires, and feelings effectively, they are more likely to suffer from depression, anger, and isolation, and their relationships often suffer.   Noted psychotherapist Rob Garfield has worked with men struggling with emotional issues for more than forty years.  Through his "Friendship Labs," clinical settings in which men engage in group therapy, he teaches men how to identify inner conflicts, express emotions, and communicate openly. According to Garfield, traditional therapy has largely marginalized men since many lack the tools to properly engage. But when men learn to open up to other men who share similar experiences, backgrounds, and perspectives, they not only build lasting bonds but learn the skills necessary to thrive in all aspects of their lives.   Writing with empathy and authority, Garfield examines the unique challenges men face and urges them to abandon male code in favor of a masculinity that integrates traditional male traits with emotional intimacy skills. He urges men to connect with other men using the Four C's of intimacy--connection, communication, commitment, and co-operation--to form meaningful bonds. Drawing on real-life stories and original research, he shows how their friendships can serve as the foundation on which men can build and sustain deep relationships with all of their loved ones--including spouses, children, and parents--and in turn lead to happier, healthier lives.… (plus d'informations)
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3 sur 3
Breaking the Male Code touched upon an issueI had been concerned and thinking about for a few years, friendships between guys.
I felt like the book developed the background about how male friendships face roadblocks that make them less than they could be. Guys don’t want to express any emotions except, perhaps, to cheer for their favorite sports teams. But everyone needs close friend outside their regular relationships to help them process difficult issues, sometimes involving the spouse and sometimes needing an objective perspective that a spouse cannot provide. In fact, in marriages or other committed relationships, both partners need these outlets yet many do not have them.
In reading this book, I pretty much read things I had read elsewhere, both in books and in shorter articles and this book really added nothing new to what I had already read and felt. But, I will admit that reading the book brought everything I had previously read together in one place. I decided, the last time I saw my closest friend (yesterday), to breach the issues of men having trouble having deep, intimate and confidential conversations, particularly those focusing on emotions. In having this conversation with my friend, we both saw that we, too, had the need to open up but had been restraining ourselves—for a LOT of years. We lowered those barriers yesterday.
I don’t feel there was anything in particular in the book that led to that, but I do feel that focusing as I was on the issue by spending so much time reading the book, I felt more comfortable opening up. I believe the friendship between my old friend and me is now on an altogether better, higher plane. ( )
  PaulLoesch | Apr 2, 2022 |
Breaking the Male Code touched upon an issueI had been concerned and thinking about for a few years, friendships between guys.
I felt like the book developed the background about how male friendships face roadblocks that make them less than they could be. Guys don’t want to express any emotions except, perhaps, to cheer for their favorite sports teams. But everyone needs close friend outside their regular relationships to help them process difficult issues, sometimes involving the spouse and sometimes needing an objective perspective that a spouse cannot provide. In fact, in marriages or other committed relationships, both partners need these outlets yet many do not have them.
In reading this book, I pretty much read things I had read elsewhere, both in books and in shorter articles and this book really added nothing new to what I had already read and felt. But, I will admit that reading the book brought everything I had previously read together in one place. I decided, the last time I saw my closest friend (yesterday), to breach the issues of men having trouble having deep, intimate and confidential conversations, particularly those focusing on emotions. In having this conversation with my friend, we both saw that we, too, had the need to open up but had been restraining ourselves—for a LOT of years. We lowered those barriers yesterday.
I don’t feel there was anything in particular in the book that led to that, but I do feel that focusing as I was on the issue by spending so much time reading the book, I felt more comfortable opening up. I believe the friendship between my old friend and me is now on an altogether better, higher plane. ( )
  Paul-the-well-read | Apr 18, 2020 |
Breaking the male code, unlocking the power of friendship_ overcoming male isolation for a longer, happier life, by Robert Garfield (Physician)
Interesting read to find out what's behind your spouses thoughts and actions and what he really wants to say or do.
Light clicks on with some subjects and I'm still in the dark on others.
I received this book from National Library Service for my BARD (Braille Audio Reading Device). ( )
  jbarr5 | Jan 22, 2016 |
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Calling for a new men's movement, a noted psychotherapist examines the critical role close male friendships play in helping men lead happy, healthy lives. For much of the past century, men have operated under the rules of Male Code, a rigid set of guidelines that equate masculinity with stoicism, silence, and strength. As men's roles have changed over the past few decades, this lingering pressure to hide their emotions has wreaked havoc on men's lives. Lacking the ability to communicate their needs, desires, and feelings effectively, they are more likely to suffer from depression, anger, and isolation, and their relationships often suffer.   Noted psychotherapist Rob Garfield has worked with men struggling with emotional issues for more than forty years.  Through his "Friendship Labs," clinical settings in which men engage in group therapy, he teaches men how to identify inner conflicts, express emotions, and communicate openly. According to Garfield, traditional therapy has largely marginalized men since many lack the tools to properly engage. But when men learn to open up to other men who share similar experiences, backgrounds, and perspectives, they not only build lasting bonds but learn the skills necessary to thrive in all aspects of their lives.   Writing with empathy and authority, Garfield examines the unique challenges men face and urges them to abandon male code in favor of a masculinity that integrates traditional male traits with emotional intimacy skills. He urges men to connect with other men using the Four C's of intimacy--connection, communication, commitment, and co-operation--to form meaningful bonds. Drawing on real-life stories and original research, he shows how their friendships can serve as the foundation on which men can build and sustain deep relationships with all of their loved ones--including spouses, children, and parents--and in turn lead to happier, healthier lives.

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