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What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal

par John Gottman Ph.D.

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Dr. John Gottman, the country's preeminent researcher on marriage, is famous for his Love Lab at the University of Washington in Seattle where he deciphers the mysteries of human relationships through scientific research. His thirty-five years of exploration have earned him numerous awards, including from the National Institute of Mental Health, the American Psychological Association, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Now, Dr. Gottman offers surprising findings and advice on the characteristic that is at the heart of all relationships: Trust. Dr. Gottman has developed a formula that precisely calculates any couple's loyalty level. The results determine a relationship's likely future, including the potential for one or both partners to stray. What Makes Love Last? shows couples how to bolster their trust level and avoid what Dr. Gottman calls the "Roach Motel for Lovers." He describes how the outcome of "sliding door moments," small pivotal points between a couple, can lead either to more emotional connection or to discontent. He suggests a new approach to handling adultery and reveals the varied and unexpected non-sexual ways that couples often betray each other. What Makes Love Last? guides couples through an empirically tested, trust-building program that will help them repair and maintain any long-term, intimate romantic relationship.… (plus d'informations)
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I'm an eye roller which can be a relationship killer. I never would have known this except through reading about John Gottman's research at his Love Lab over the years. Gottman and his team videotaped couples interacting and now have a high success rate at determining which couples will make it and which will divorce based on their verbal and non-verbal interactions. This book breaks down the research into practical advice.

I was extremely happy to read through this book and discover that this time around my partner and I are doing it right. Actually I feel a little smug about it. Because love at forty-something is wonderful. ( )
  auldhouse | Sep 30, 2021 |
A lot of repeat information if you're a fanatic like me. However there was some new stuff because he focused on the reason the 4 horsemen exist ( aka a lack of trust). It seems to be a prevalent problem. I know I struggle trusting people. While he gave a couple of solutions, I feel like it and his advice could be boiled down to one decision: decide to be a person with integrity. Not sure why that is such a struggle these days. ( )
  OutOfTheBestBooks | Sep 24, 2021 |
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Dr. John Gottman, the country's preeminent researcher on marriage, is famous for his Love Lab at the University of Washington in Seattle where he deciphers the mysteries of human relationships through scientific research. His thirty-five years of exploration have earned him numerous awards, including from the National Institute of Mental Health, the American Psychological Association, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Now, Dr. Gottman offers surprising findings and advice on the characteristic that is at the heart of all relationships: Trust. Dr. Gottman has developed a formula that precisely calculates any couple's loyalty level. The results determine a relationship's likely future, including the potential for one or both partners to stray. What Makes Love Last? shows couples how to bolster their trust level and avoid what Dr. Gottman calls the "Roach Motel for Lovers." He describes how the outcome of "sliding door moments," small pivotal points between a couple, can lead either to more emotional connection or to discontent. He suggests a new approach to handling adultery and reveals the varied and unexpected non-sexual ways that couples often betray each other. What Makes Love Last? guides couples through an empirically tested, trust-building program that will help them repair and maintain any long-term, intimate romantic relationship.

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