Definitely an interesting book. I haven't had to deal with this too much with my two girls but I do know that this book is right on. My one daughter does things to make herself different and is a protector of kids that are bullied. This does help me accept that she is fine not being in "the group". She sees they are fake already and does not want to be part of them. She is definitely more confident than I was at 14. My other daughter probably dealt with this more but karate helped lift her self esteem so much that she carried on and knows now that some friends just are not worth keeping.

What is real sad it so much of it does carry over into adulthood and it does explain why so many of us are more comfortable hanging with men/boys. I am not sure who will get this yet but will definitely be sharing. ( )

My 10-year-old daughter and I were in the library a few weeks ago picking up some holds for her when she saw this and asked to borrow it. Normally, adult non-fiction is not her thing, but she's had bullying problems at school these last two years, and I thought I would let her try it.

She finished it in 24 hours and loved it. "It makes me feel less alone," she said. "I'm not the only one going through this."

So, of course, I had to read it too.

And I ended up crying on the GO train going into Toronto (on a car full of Carabana revellers, no less). It's absolutely harrowing, for either those of us who remember this from our own girlhoods, or those of us watching it in the girlhoods of our daughters. Or, if you're like me, both. My god, girls can be vicious to each other. And the fact that they're being vicious to each other in this way because of the cultural expectations of Good Girls does not make it hurt any less.

Simmons does a good job of discussing all the ways and means of girl bullying and aggression, how it works and why it works the way it does. She has minimal advice for parents on how to deal with it, although the advice she does have is probably as complete as you can get; the fact is, there is not much parents can do from home about things that go on at school, and the most important thing is for the school and the kids' teachers to get it and act.

If you've ever dealt with a situation like this, you know that usually doesn't happen, even though this book came out over a decade ago and there's been tons of discussion on this issue ever since.

I feel at least better equipped to understand not only what she's experiencing, but also how best to listen and react to what she tells me so that she knows I understand and support her. I'd recommend it to other parents for that, if nothing else. ( )

Girls, and the women they become, are nuts. The things they value most are personal relationships, the things they fear most are losing personal relationships, and so the things they destroy are personal relationships. And apparently they do this because they lack the language to say how they feel, and the cultural permission to be angry. ( )

The newly revised and updated edition of Odd Girl Out is a must have for every person who is parenting or educating a girl.

This was the first book I grabbed once my fall classes were over. Why? I think it's because I have a daughter. She's eight and in the 3rd grade and we've already had two incidents involving bullying. The first was in preschool and the second was last year. Both incidents were handled by teachers are administrators in a manner that Simmons suggests in Chapter 12: the road ahead for teachers and administrators. That chapter gives some wonderful suggestions on how to set up a school or even a classroom to be as bully-proof as possible. Obviously no place can be bully-proof, but one thing that Simmons points out is that one way to address bullying is to have a transparent and predictable system of consequences. If a student knows that Sally and Maria are the teacher's favorite and nothing they do gets them in real trouble, that student feels disempowered to act and report bullying she may be experiencing or witnessing. Having a consistent system of consequences also sends a clear message to students who bully that it will not be tolerated.

Simmons doesn't advocate for a zero-tolerance policy that gets 7-year-olds expelled, rather a zero-tolerance policy that is just that, zero-tolerance for bullying a classmate.

Three themes really struck me as key things to remember from this book.

One is that schools have relied on girls to maintain a certain peace for years.

And second is that this peace that we see in girls is really silence. Society teaches girls to silence their feelings in order to "be good."

Bullying is not just how girls are. Not if we decide that it ends today. HERE. NOW. When we teach our girls to get over it, that "that's how life is, wait until your boss is a bully," we are teaching our girls to ignore that voice in their head and heart that says, "This is wrong. Walk away."

The last theme is one that a friend and I were discussing a few weeks ago. Why are women afraid to promote themselves? I know that I can look back at my childhood and know that being "all that" was frowned upon. Pride in one's work could only be taken so far. Simmons really digs into how promoting oneself breaks one of the cardinal rules of being a girl -- fit in. You can't fit in if you let people know how awesome you are.

Simmons updated her book to include a great chapter on cyberbullying. If you don't have time to read the whole book, skip right to chapter four: bff 2.0: cyberbullying and cyberdrama and chapter nine: parents speak. But you really should read the whole thing.

Warning women reading this will experience flashbacks to high school. Men who read this may have a lot of WTF moments

Read the full review at my blog, Viva la Feminista.

As a teacher of grades 7-9 I can assure you girls are more aggressive than boys, never forgive, and are very underhanded. If you have a daughter, you must read this book. ( )