You get a feeling of approaching darkness from the very beginning, and as you get to know the players and spend time inside Quinn's head, you appreciate just how intense that sense of bleak horror and rage if eating away at her. You think you know where she's headed with her plot for revenge, but then there's a sudden shift. It pulls in several other players to start supporting her once she very reluctantly opens up enough to share what happened to send her life careening into a black hole. What comes after they rally around her is affirming, even though there remain plenty of psychic scars, not only for her, but for several others. I suspect this was both painful and cathartic for the author to write. I am very glad she did because it is the kind of book that will be read by teens (regardless of gender identification) who have had a similar experience and thought they were at fault and could not speak of their trauma. That is NEVER the case. ( )

Given the deeply-disturbing and harrowing themes of this novel, plus the warning from the publisher that it ‘contains descriptions of sexual violence and self-harm that some readers may find triggering’, my expectation was that it promised to be a thought-provoking rather than an enjoyable read. However, what I couldn’t have been prepared for was just how disturbing I would find it, or how effectively the author’s powerfully evocative prose would draw me into the emotional lives of the three main characters. Their narrative voices, heard through alternating chapters, gradually exposing a culture of privilege, entitled status and toxic masculinity in an elite American private school, where any idea of challenging norms which had been established over generations appeared doomed to failure. I was impressed by her portrayal of the underlying hypocrisy inherent in a school whose prospectus paid lip-service to welcoming, indeed celebrating, diversity, whilst the reality faced by students (as well as members of staff) was that, in order to fit in, conformity and acceptance of well-established traditions were de rigueur. I think that this particularly vacuous type of ‘virtue-signalling’ will feel instantly recognisable to readers of this story!
Although Quinn’s voice and narrative thread was the most upsetting to follow (its poignant, heart-breaking authenticity a reflection of how effectively the author had used her personal experience of being sexually assaulted when she was sixteen), I appreciated how she used the voices of Max and Charlotte to add layers of nuance to the complexities and contradictions of the situation these young people found themselves in. She really captured the ongoing, see-sawing struggles each had with trying to balance decisions based purely on self-interest, with a need to listen to their consciences and find the strength to ‘do the right thing’. I liked how she portrayed the complexities of the friendship between these three characters, particularly how she dealt so sensitively and compassionately with their very human personality flaws. I think we all recognise how difficult it can be to stand out from the crowd, to put our heads above the parapet and do what is morally right.
I was also impressed with how the author so realistically portrayed Quinn’s struggles with her mental health following the assault. She captured, in a powerfully visceral way, just how hard it can be for someone whose world has been turned upside down in such a traumatic way to reach a stage where they feel able to reach out for help. I think that many people don’t understand the courage it requires to take that first step, to trust that you’ll be believed rather than held responsible, so I admired how the author dealt so sensitively with Quinn’s complex, frequently contradictory, range of behaviour, her feelings and thoughts as she struggled to find ways to both make sense of what was happening to her, and to ensure that her attacker was held to account for what he did. Although I found it hugely satisfying that in this fictional world she did find this ‘justice’, I’m also very conscious of how seldom this happens in the real world.
I liked the fact that the author showed Quinn finding understanding and support not only from her female friends, but also from some of her male friends who were prepared to challenge the ’boys will be boys’ culture and recognise that no one should be allowed to use this as an excuse to avoid being held accountable for their actions. With the growing influence of the #metoo movement and recent high-profile cases of sexually-abusive men being brought to justice, it’s clear that attitudes are beginning to change, albeit rather slowly … maybe this process would be exponentially accelerated if the national curriculum included this novel as essential reading for all teenagers!
A beautifully crafted novel which, although written for a YA readership, incorporates complex and challenging issues with enough emotional depth to appeal to readers of any age. ( )

4.5/5 Stars

TW: Sexual Assault

I think the author did a wonderful job portraying the myriad, complex emotions and events relating to the assault in this book. Not only the feelings of the actual assault victim but all those who care about her, as well. I was riveted throughout. I think the multiple POVs only added to the whole picture. For me, the story flowed once I learned each character. I didn’t really notice any parts that lagged, in spite of the book being on the longer side.

I received a complimentary copy of this book. Opinions expressed in this review are completely my own. Thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins Children's Books, Quill Tree Books for this ARC. ( )