Competently written, but dull--the one thing a Conan story should never be. I could've given it another star for the inclusion of Robert E. Howard's Conan tale "Red Nails," for which Blood of the Serpent is a prequel, but opted to rate the book based only on the main story. ( )

I didn’t think it was possible to write a boring Conan story. Apparently I was wrong.

In this latest adventure—a prequel to Howard’s superior Red Nails—Conan meets Valeria for the first time and together they lead a mercenary group to escort a relief troop for a local mine. After a brief slave rebellion, Valeria kills a nobleman who tries to have his way with her and escapes the authorities by running headlong into the wilderness (Hyperborea’s African savannah) whilst being pursued by the nobleman’s vengeful brother and Conan himself (for the sole reason of wanting to have his way with her).

We aren’t off to a great start here and the author does nothing to lift it either. A rather chatty Conan spends much of his time describing Stygian culture, geographical landscapes, cooking, how he dresses and accounts of the various grasses and trees he sees. All the stuff that most accomplished authors know to leave out—especially in a sword and sorcery tale.

Occasionally Conan fights something in his way, including crocodiles, baboons and a cheetah. The fights are brief and end in the same way—a quick two handed sword slash. No tension and very little brutality that often hallmarks his fight scenes. Eventually he gets into slightly more robust fights, but it really wasn’t worth trudging through 250 pages of tedious exposition to get there.

Lacking in the punchy, action packed and darkly atmospheric prose of Howard’s originals or the high adventure of later authors who took up the mantle (Sprague de Camp, Karl Edward Wagner, Poul Anderson and so forth), it’s very hard to recommend this to any fan of Conan or even fantasy stories. Some amazing illustrations by Robert De La Torre and brief moments of fun are unable to offset what is otherwise an utterly dull, bloated and padded out adventure. ( )

Well, that was underwhelming as all hell. So much for the "pulse pounding" return of Conan.

I think this should have been called Conan - Plod of the Serpent because man, this book dragged. Very little actually happens, and Stirling pads out the books with explanations on...well, everything.

The food. The money. Hunting techniques. Cultural things for the various countries. Strategy. Landscape.

...so...much...explanation...

Which, if it helps the story, okay. But one of Elmore Leonard's most famous writing rules is to leave out the parts that people skip. Stirling seems to have gathered up all those skippable parts and stuffed them into this story to make it novel length when, at best, this should have been a novella.

I didn't really think Conan could be boring, but I found myself drifting all the time I was reading this.

Honestly, I think Stirling read a bunch of Conan stuff just so he could make fact lists. I think he completely ignored the snappy tautness of Robert E. Howard's writing...one of the main strengths of any Conan story. Oh, well, that and the sorcery that Stirling hints at, but doesn't really dive into with both feet like Howard did.

Absolutely not recommended. And by god, I hope to hell he doesn't write another one, but if he does, this kid's staying well away from it.