https://fromtheheartofeurope.eu/hellsans-by-ever-dundas/

Started it three times and failed to finish the first chapter. Eventually got to page 50 and put it down. ( )

Originally posted on Just Geeking by.

Content warnings:
This book contains scenes of death, execution, violence, torture, and medical trauma. There is a toxic relationship which includes a sexual abuse scene, emotional abuse, gaslighting, fatphobia, and controlling and manipulative behaviour. There is an ongoing theme of abuse, hate and prejudice towards a people who are chronically ill and there are scenes of physical, medical and verbal abuse (including slurs) throughout. This group is forced to live in slums as soon as they present symptoms. Other scenes include terrorism, police brutality, self-harm and experiments on animals.

HellSans by Ever Dundas is unlike any book about disability I’ve ever read, and make no mistake, this is a book about disability. Dundas dedicates HellSans to “all queer crips and people with M.E. who have endured decades of cruelty and neglect with love and rage” which made me feel so seen before I had even started the actual book. HellSans offers the reader the choice of starting either narrative first. One narrative is from the perspective of Dr Ichoriel ‘Icho’ Smith, a doctor working on a cure for the allergy to HellSans and the other is from Jane Ward, the CEO of The Company. Jane is the creator of several cyborg robots that became a staple for society. Everyone now uses an Inex, a cyborg that connects to them and monitors them emotionally and physically, tracking and maintaining every single part of their life. They also use one called an Ino which takes care of all chores, and housekeeping duties including making food. Both can administer some first aid and some basic medical care.

The other way the HellSans universe differs from ours is that a form of typography has been utilised by the Government as a drug. It’s referred to by its narrators as ‘HellSans’, for reasons that become obvious throughout the book. This drug creates a sensation that is known as “bliss” in most of the population – but not all. Some people have a natural resistance to it and are “unblissed”, they get no high from the font. Others have an allergic reaction to it, and they are immediately outcast from society, forced to live in slums outside the city.

At first, it seemed strange to think of a font as being able to give people a high, and then I realised how clever such an idea would be. Fonts are everywhere. I’m using one right now as I write this review, just as you’re reading one. By creating a font that is a drug, a group of people can mass control everyone and that is exactly what has happened in HellSans. The HSAs, the HellSans allergic, are unblissed. They see the world the way it really is, the control and oppression, and that terrifies those in control. They react with the only tool they know; more oppression and create the narrative that HSAs are deviants.

I read the narratives in the order that they are presented because I can’t read things out of order, and find it difficult to switch back and forth. Icho and Jane’s narratives are very different from each other. Icho is trying to help HSAs, although her motives for doing so does not become clear until later in the book. As a result of her work directly with HSAs she is more aware of how they are treated, the abuse that they suffer in the city and in the slums. In comparison, Jane is one of society’s elite who looks down on HSA’s with complete disgust as is expected of her as one of the “blissed”. When a traumatic event triggers HSA in her Jane is in complete denial. Denial that she has HSA and that she, the CEO of the most powerful company, is being stripped of her power and position. She is Jane Ward, this shouldn’t be happening to her!

On the run with a working cure, Icho recognises the symptoms of HSA in Jane and realises that Jane is her best chance of surviving. Jane has the resources and she needs Icho. Each of their narratives tell their stories up to the point where they find each other, and after that it becomes a combined narrative. The way Dundas has experimented with narrative in HellSans is brilliantly innovative and is something to explore all on its own. My focus, however, is on how she has captured the way that society and especially the medical profession has treated people with ME/CFS for decades. People with other chronic health conditions will be able to draw comparisons with this too, I mention ME/CFS especially because of the dedication at the start of the book.

Jane’s denial in particular was familiar, especially in a post-COVID world because there are so many people who were “healthy” that fell in with Long Covid and ME/CFS who previously would have looked down on disabled people for being “unhealthy”. We were ill due to our own actions. It was all because we didn’t look after ourselves, or we were overweight. There are many reasons we’ve all heard. Then COVID came along and didn’t discriminate. Likewise, HSA in HellSans can affect anyone at any time in their life if the circumstances are right. ME/CFS is the same; if the body undergoes enough physical trauma it can trigger ME/CFS. I know because that is exactly what happened to me.

Dundas doesn’t skim on detail when it comes to how messy having a chronic illness is, and looking at reviews I can see how much that went way over non-disabled readers heads. There is a lot of “body horror” in HellSans because guess what? Being disabled, especially being chronically ill, involves a lot of bodily fluids and not the fun ones. There is no difference between showing revulsion for fictional ill characters and real disabled people. You’re still showing revulsion about the same thing happening. Even by referring to symptoms as “body horror” there is a suggestion that what we go through is something from a horror story, that in some way it’s not real or that being disabled is so bad that it is “horrific”. Dundas could have written a neat story where Jane’s symptoms are perfectly timed, and aren’t as severe. But HellSans isn’t that type of story.

I also appreciated that Dundas showed the ugly side of her characters. Being disabled is rough, and Jane and Icho were in a very difficult situation. Suddenly becoming ill doesn’t suddenly make someone a saint. Jane was a nasty person before she developed HSA, and she’s still a bitch afterwards. Likewise, being a medical professional or scientist doesn’t mean you’re a good person. Both characters are very complicated and that is as it should be. If you’re heading into this book expecting to find likeable characters just because it’s about disability then this isn’t the book for you, and you need to check your ableism.

HellSans is a dark book that feels like Dundas was watching over my shoulder while I struggled every step of the way to get a diagnosis for ME/CFS, and has listened to every scream of frustration I’ve ever made as a chronically ill person. HellSans is unlike anything I have ever read. When I say this is a must-read for disabled readers I mean it. I was going to say it is a must-read for everyone, but having seen reviews from non-disabled readers I honestly don’t feel that many are able to understand what HellSans is saying. This is very much a love letter to the disabled community and written in our language for us. If non-disabled readers gain some understanding of our every day fight then that’s great, but if they don’t then that is their loss.

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