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Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul (2005)

par John Eldredge, Stasi Eldredge, Staci Eldridge

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3,024324,566 (3.81)15
Family & Relationships. Christian Nonfiction. Religion & Spirituality. Nonfiction. HTML:

Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be the Beauty of the story. Those desires are far more than child's play. They are the secret to the feminine heart. And yet--how many women do you know who ever find that life? As the years pass by, the heart of a woman gets pushed aside, wounded, buried. She finds no romance except in novels, no adventure except on television, and she doubts very much that she will ever be the Beauty in any tale. Most women think they have to settle for a life of efficiency and duty, chores and errands, striving to be the women they "ought" to be but often feeling they have failed. Sadly, too many messages for Christian women add to the pressure. "Do these ten things, and you will be a godly woman."The effect has not been good on the feminine soul. The message of Captivating is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman--they are telling you of the life God created you to live. He offers to come now as the Hero of your story, to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly captivating.

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There were some bits in here that I really did like, but so many more that I didn't.

John and Stasi say that they understand women and their personalities run the gamut, and that they tried avoiding stereotypes. However, I got the distinct impression that a "real" woman would be an E*F* Myers Briggs-type. (I'm an ISTJ, so naturally, I balk at that.) I constantly felt that they were playing to a woman's emotions.

They were so determined to prove that women are defined by their beauty that they seemed to almost demonize efficiency and task-orientedness - two things that are central to my personality; so I walked away feeling vastly misunderstood and like my strengths are still unappreciated. Now, I don't disagree with the fact that beauty (inward and outward) is a defining quality of women, but I believe that a woman can embrace her God-given strengths (even efficiency and task-orientedness!) in a way that exhibits beauty.

A huge concern for me while reading the book is the way that they refer to the reader as the Bride of Christ. This is repeated over and over again, and I find it rather dangerous. Never in the Bible is a woman (or a man) called the Bride of Christ – the Church, as a whole, is the Bride of Christ. We cannot each be the Bride individually.

What else?

•The authors kept comparing a woman's life to the romances found in books and movies like The Titanic, Braveheart, The Last of the Mohicans, and The Lord of the Rings. Over and over and over, the same references were made. I sort of wonder if they realized that those are all fiction?
•They mentioned that they "didn't have the time" to go into certain biblical accounts of women. But they spent so much time on fictional characters (see point above)! Gah!
•John and Stasi didn't always differentiate who was speaking when, or they would wait too far into a passage to clue the reader in. Frustrating!
•Several times, John quoted himself from the book he wrote for men, Wild at Heart. I just think it's weird to quote yourself.

Two quotes that I did like:

"What would it be like to experience for yourself that the truest thing about [God's] heart toward yours is not disappointment or disapproval but deep, fiery, passionate love?" -p. 113

"Unveiling beauty is our greatest expression of love, because it is what the world most needs from us. When we choose not to hide, when we choose to offer our hearts, we are choosing to love.... Our focus shifts from self-protection to the hearts of others. We offer Beauty so that their hearts might come alive, be healed, know God. That is love." -p. 147 ( )
  RachelRachelRachel | Nov 21, 2023 |
55092
  WBCLIB | Feb 19, 2023 |
Exactly what I needed to read this week. Gave me a LOT to think about and illuminated a number of things in my life. ( )
  kburne1 | Aug 13, 2022 |
Toda mujer fue una niña alguna vez. Y toda niña guarda en su corazón sus más preciosos sueños. Anhela que la enamoren, ansía representar un papel indispensable en una gran aventura y desea ser la bella de la historia. Esos anhelos son mucho más que un juego infantil. Son el secreto hacia el corazón de una mujer. ( )
  LizzyElis | Nov 7, 2020 |
This title was highly recommended -- so it was selected for a small women's Bible study group. I along with other members of the group have found it very hard to understand what the authors are trying to say. When I, an avid reader of anything including cereal boxes, have to force myself to read a book, that is a bad thing. There are a few truths that I gleamed from the book and our discussions, but it didn't make up for the agony of trying to read the long chapters to get ready for group night.

The biggest help I got from the book was the knowledge that most women feel the same thing...that the church's outlook and avoidance of some issues is part of the problem...that we need other women to help us with our journey...but everything should be centered around our relationship with the Lord who made woman as a wonderful, marvelous, and beautiful being.

NOTE: The best part of the book was A PRAYER FOR SEXUAL HEALING found in the appendix of the book. -- "So it is important to bring our sexuality under the Lordship (and therefore protection) of the Lord Jesus Christ, and seek his cleansing of our sexual sins." p231 ( )
  pjburnswriter | Aug 16, 2020 |
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Nom de l'auteurRôleType d'auteurŒuvre ?Statut
Eldredge, Johnauteur principaltoutes les éditionsconfirmé
Eldredge, Stasiauteur principaltoutes les éditionsconfirmé
Eldridge, Staciauteur principaltoutes les éditionsconfirmé
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Sometimes it's hard to be a woman.
- Tammy Wynette

(Chapter One)
He saw that Fatima's eyes were filled with tears.
"You're crying?"
"I'm a woman of the desert," she said, averting her face.
"But above all, I'm a woman."
- Paulo Coelho

(Chapter One)
You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
You belong with your love on your arm
You belong somewhere you feel free.
- Tom Petty

(Chapter One)

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To the captivating women we are blessed to call our friends.
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Let's do it."
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Do not combine with the 2010 revised and updated edition.
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Family & Relationships. Christian Nonfiction. Religion & Spirituality. Nonfiction. HTML:

Every woman was once a little girl. And every little girl holds in her heart her most precious dreams. She longs to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, to be the Beauty of the story. Those desires are far more than child's play. They are the secret to the feminine heart. And yet--how many women do you know who ever find that life? As the years pass by, the heart of a woman gets pushed aside, wounded, buried. She finds no romance except in novels, no adventure except on television, and she doubts very much that she will ever be the Beauty in any tale. Most women think they have to settle for a life of efficiency and duty, chores and errands, striving to be the women they "ought" to be but often feeling they have failed. Sadly, too many messages for Christian women add to the pressure. "Do these ten things, and you will be a godly woman."The effect has not been good on the feminine soul. The message of Captivating is this: Your heart matters more than anything else in all creation. The desires you had as a little girl and the longings you still feel as a woman--they are telling you of the life God created you to live. He offers to come now as the Hero of your story, to rescue your heart and release you to live as a fully alive and feminine woman. A woman who is truly captivating.

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