Rating: 2.5* of five, all for "Ajax"

The Publisher Says: What do umbrellas, mutants, dead plumbers, and of course Pop-Tarts have to do with each other? Nothing really. However, they're all things that the author thinks about...A LOT. Take a journey down this path and see how all of the above, plus a bunch of other topics, make their twisted sense to the author.

The Poptart Manifesto is 13 short stories of weird thoughts coupled with slightly out of the ordinary events that are sure to make you think. Or not. But they might, just might, give you a chuckle or two.

RECOMMENDED BY A FRIEND. I WANT THAT 99¢ BACK.

My Review: Tediously adolescent humor. Maybe I'm just an old picklepuss now, but I really expect more from someone whose SF series, The Tome of Bill, is best-selling and much beloved.

"The Poptart Manifesto," the title story, is just tiresome as this weedy dweeb waxes lyrical about the Pop-Tart to his girlfriend. "Cork Quest" reminded me, as the narrator searches for a corkscrew across the whole of Manhattan, that straight guys were never weaned.

Seriously...breasts are there to feed babies (whether they're ever used that way or not). That's what they do. "Wedding Belles" was where I realized that, if things didn't turn around soon, I was gonna have to bail...guy shares room with hot girl, brags all over a wedding about it, and her boyfriend takes umbrage. Ha ha ha. "Ajax: Slayer of Trojans, Destroyer of Grease Stains" was better, a little redemption for the modest and the overlooked is always welcome. "The Epic Adventure of the Mighty Adventurers," however, swung the sledgehammer onto the last inch of the collection's coffin nail: Ready Player One meets Catcher in the Rye if written by P.J. O'Rourke. Tries for witty, achieves snarky.

I might've been less irked by the mismatch of my taste and the author's if he'd used a style sheet and hired a proofreader. "Then" ≠ "Than" ever. ( )