Are you married? Would you like to be married? Still looking for ‘the One’?

In Love, Sex, and Happily Ever After: Preparing for a Marriage that goes the Distance (previously titled Going All the Way), Craig Groeschel discusses how you can you can make love last forever . Groeschel’s first point is that ‘the One’ you are looking for is not a romantic interest but Jesus (see what he did there?). Your spouse would be your ‘number two’ He then goes on to discuss the dynamics and the personal commitments which will nurture a good marriage.

This is the third book by Craig Groeschel I’ve read (I’ve also read Weird and Chazown). In the previous two books, I liked a lot of what he had to say but found his hook a little gimmicky. In this book, Groeschel is much more straightforward in his presentation and says some great things; however I seem to be a little out of Craig Groeschel’s target audience. This is a book for those preparing for marriage. Actually, a good chunk of the book is for people who are still in the dating scene but maybe thinking about marriage at some point. As someone who is happily married for 10 years, I found this book offered less constructive material for my own relationship (only the last few chapters).

But no matter, it was a fun read and Groeschel has good things to say. I am occasionally asked by single friends if I could recommend a good book on dating and I think this could be a helpful book for college age singles. There is a lot of practical advice here about making sure you keep Jesus central, developing a solid friendship as the foundation for marriage, keeping sexually pure, why cohabitation is a bad idea, how to break up with the wrong person, how in Christ starting over and being healed from past mistakes is possible, keeping your relationship with Jesus and keeping your (future) spouse a priority. Groeschel is a good communicator and he does a great job of encouraging singles to live lives that are holy, healthy and pleasing to God.

When he does get down to discussing married life, he offers what I would call a soft complementarianism. He believes that husbands were created to be the leader of the home (he bases this on the created order. Men were created first because they are hardwired to be the initiator of things. Just so you know, this is bad exegesis). While he overstates his case for male leadership a little, he is careful to put this in the context of mutual submission (Eph. 5:21) and certainly men need to be encouraged to take responsibility for their relationships rather than passively stand by. Likewise he has some good advice to wives (or would be wives) to deal with insecurities in their hearts, but much of his discussion of wives is how to submit to their husbands leadership. As an egalitarian, I disagree with how Groeschel is parsing biblical data here, but he makes some constructive points.

One of the best chapters of the book is called Habits of the Heart where Craig discusses the sort of godly habits which will nurture a godly marriage. These include:

dealing with your past
growing with good people (accountability and mentoring and severing of unhealthy friendships)
learning to listen well
guarding your own heart
facing and resolving conflict well
being financially responsible
investing in your relationship with God
I think that each of these habits are important for maintaining vitality and health in my marriage (though I need to grow in a few of these). But what makes this book an enjoyable read is not Groeschel’s good advice, but his humility and good humor. Groeschel is funny and is vulnerable enough to share about past mistakes he’s made. So even though I am the wrong person to read this book, I still liked it.

Thank you to Waterbrook Multnomah for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for this review. ( )

Love, Sex, and Happily Ever After
CRAIG GROESCHEL

With an invigorating mix of personal story, practical guidance and biblical truth, Craig invites you into a candid conversation about first dates, sex, communication, integrity, forgiveness, and commitment. Along the way, he shows how you can build a soul-enriching, God-honoring relationship with the one you love…and believe together again in your very own “happily ever after.”
Previously released as Going All the Way

I have seen Craig Groeschels’ online presence, listened to his podcasts and watched his videos on LifeChurch.tv and found him very amusing and inspirational. He winds personal experience stories with bible stories and somehow makes it all relevant to today’s world. He is one of the ‘new breed’ of pastors who relate to their followers with humor rather than preach down to them using intimidation. So when I was given a chance to read and review this book, I jumped at it, however now I kind of wished I hadn’t.

I really cannot get into the swing of this book, Craig’s jokes seem condescending and fake, and his humor doesn’t come through in the writing. Some of the lines are authoritative to the extreme, whereas if I was watching him perform this in person, it probably wouldn’t have as much of a negative impact as it does seeing the words on the page.

I can see how people have described the content of the book as ‘going to very challenging places’, but I also see how some people who are dedicated fans and followers of his would be able to find this book useful. I personally do not find this book to be something that I can utilize or reread at any point, but I fully encourage those who are a fan of his or any of Craig Groeschel’s previous books to pick this up and give it a look, for you it may be a worthwhile read.

We’re designed to go all the way, to really live happily ever after as married couples. Young adults perceive pain, fear, cheating, adultery and divorce as “normal”, because of failing relationships among friends and family. Craig Groeschel, founding and senior pastor of LifeChurch.tv, recently ranked the nation’s second largest, wrote provoking books like Chazown, Dare to Drop the Pose and The Christian Atheist (reviewed in 2011).
He strives to put the bar on the highest possible position. Just as Christ loves his Church, we as man should love our wives. And in submission to their husbands, women do rebel against the current morals.
Groeschel starts with priorities. God is the One, your husband / wive the Two. Not the other way around and no others should replace this ranking. Next is marriage preparation, where the pastor gives his point of view on finding the One, dating, courting, attracting, sexuality, communication, forgiveness and growing relationship with God. There’s huge difference between a wedding and a marriage.
Love, Sex & Happily Ever After tells about Groeschel’s own choices before he came to know Christ. And yes, these were radically different from the pursuing of holiness afterwards. In my humble opinion not all will agree with Groeschel’s strict advices on dating: just talk and walk, not getting physical in any way, even abstain from kissing! The author think it’s possible to save physical intimacy to the time after the wedding day.
Large parts of the book deal with sin, grace and forgiveness. Recovery and understanding each other. Short chapters ‘For him” and “For her” describe the differences between men and women in communication and acting. Groeschel and his wife have 6 children, so don’t expect the “happily ever after” to be a quiet time, without any distractions, fights and disagreements. The author’s goal is not to condemn or withold anyone to get married at all. First, he offers a different perspective on a marriage that lasts a lifetime. And second, he plans to offer you hope.
The book was released in 2007 as Going All the Way and now contains a study guide as well. ( )