A short story that still manages to pack an emotional punch. Brian was a difficult character to like in [b:Finding Zach|8147129|Finding Zach|Rowan Speedwell|http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1273230138s/8147129.jpg|12802050] but now, a number of years later, we see a glimpse under the protective sheath that surrounds him. I liked Jerry a lot and wish that the book had been a little longer. ( )

Excellent story about a man who finally faces his past so he can start living in the present and build a future. Not necessarily a Christmas story either, even thought Christmas is the trigger for what happens between Brian and Jerry.

Brian, who's the journalist from [b:Finding Zach|8079528|Finding Zach|Rowan Speedwell|http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1272613226s/8079528.jpg|12802050], is lonely, desperate and not willing to do anything more than hook up. It wasn't clear to me how deep his issues were at first, but the reasons are revealed gradually and, as horrible as they were, made a lot of sense. As much sense as something that is largely a misunderstanding can make.

Jerry, Brian's physical therapist, is an amazing character. He desperately wants a committed relationship. He's patient and willing to go out on a limb for Brian, despite the fact that he believes he's not interested in anything longer term. He's also quite the psychologist!

I loved the realism of these guys' issues, how they dealt with them, and the slow suspenseful reveal of what was going on with Brian. A great read all around! ( )

I wasn't sure if I even wanted to pick up this short story, because I really, really didn't like the character of Brian in Finding Zach. There, he came across as quite an opportunist who was looking to make a name for himself by forcing Zach to talk about his captivity in Venezuela before he was really ready to do it. And after reading this novella, I still don't like Brian.

At least in this book, he does show that he had some remorse for what he did to Zach. I don't like that the author made it be Zach who was pushing to tell his story and do the talk show gamut, when it was quite obvious in Finding Zach, at least for most of it, that he didn't want to do that at all. He was put in a rock-and-hard-place situation and chose to tell his story, but if he hadn't received the pressure from Brian, I don't think he would have done it this way, at least not so soon. But, at least Brian DID show some remorse and even admitted that he was self-centered in his approach, so that was a positive.

And the rest of my review should probably be hidden under the spoiler tag.

First, I really don't like that Brian ended up with Jerry, who is David's ex (the one we sort-of met by phone in Finding Zach). Jerry seems like a really great, stand-up guy, and he was hopeful in that book that he had met someone who could be The One. Guess not. Even David, who was in love with Zach and had been in love with him for years, cried when he realized that Jerry was moving on past their break-up, because Jerry was such a great guy. And then Jerry ended up with Brian. Sigh. I just don't like Brian, and I don't think that they were good together - I thought that Jerry deserved better, and this novella didn't make me like Brian any more than I did in Finding Zach, so meh.

Also, what were the chances that Jerry and Brian, two people who knew Zach and David, would end up meeting at all in Chicago? I have problems with super rare coincidences driving a story forward, and this was definitely a super rare coincidence.

Finally, I felt like Brian was kind of a spoiled brat. The reason he despised Christmas was because when he was eighteen years old, a few weeks before Christmas, he came out to his family. And his family started treating him differently and were just too nice to him. Yeah, you read that correctly. His family, while trying to adjust to a big announcement, treated him too well, so he got pissed off and left and had pretty much kept to himself since and nursed a huge grudge against Christmas because of that. Give me a fucking break. Am I supposed to feel bad for him because his family treated him nicely? Would he rather have a family like mine, which stated in no uncertain terms that they would completely cut themselves off from me if I ever admitted to the fact that everyone knows already? Because I'll gladly trade him.

There was also the instalove that comes inherent with these romantic novellas; Jerry and Brian were barely together a couple of weeks before they were throwing the "L" word around. Meh. I'm not feeling it. ( )

3.5 stars.

4.5 stars ( )