A mother-daughter story about the strong pull of tradition, and the lure and cost of breaking free of it. When Shoko decided to marry an American GI and leave Japan, she had her parents' blessing, her brother's scorn, and a gift from her husband-a book on how to be a proper American housewife. As she crossed the ocean to America, Shoko also brought with her a secret she would need to keep her entire life... Half a century later, Shoko's plans to finally return to Japan and reconcile with her brother are derailed by illness. In her place, she sends her grown American daughter, Sue, a divorced single mother whose own life isn't what she hoped for. As Sue takes in Japan, with all its beauty and contradictions, she discovers another side to her mother and returns to America unexpectedly changed and irrevocably touched.

The novel begins in Japan, narrated by Shoko, a young Japanese girl who begins by writing, “I had always been a disobedient girl.” As Shoko grows up, she goes to work for the Americans in order to earn money to send her brother to school. After a short engagement to a Japanese man who cheats with her roommate, Shoko and her father decide she should marry an American because “America is the way of the future.” While Shoko is dating American men to find the best match, she falls in love with a lower-class Japanese man, but knows that she must marry up. She ends up marrying Charlie, a red-haired American naval medic; their children, Mike and Sue, are raised American. When Shoko grows ill and is hospitalized, she wants nothing more than to make a trip back to Japan to see her estranged brother. Instead, Sue and her daughter Helena, are sent in Shoko’s stead.

This novel is named after a fictional handbook which was published to help Japanese wives of American soldiers learn how to manage in the US; excerpts of this are printed at the beginning of each chapter. The handbook was actually based on a real publication called “The American Way of Housekeeping.” I enjoyed reading this novel, although I am not sure how I feel about the American-born daughter, Sue, going to Japan and suddenly finding peace and a purpose for her life. Still, at the risk of sounding cliched, this novel works on several levels — as a mother/daughter story, as a “getting back to your roots” path of discovery, as a critique of stereotypes, as a family saga. ( )

Told in 2 parts - first 1/2 narrated by Shoko, a Japanese woman who marries an American GI at the end of WWII and emigrates to America, part II is narrated by her daughter, Sue, who gives in to Shoko's please to travel to Japan to reconcile with the family. You learn about Shoko's family and America assimilation in the first part, then Sue with her daughter Heather assisting with breaking the ice in Japan, does manage to track down family and finally reconile Shoko with her brother Taro. ( )

It is the story of Shoko, a Japanese woman who marries an American soldier after World War II, and her daughter, Sue, who is raising her daughter as a single mom. The book explores their memories, their relationship, and the bonds of family as Shoko's heart condition prevents her from traveling to Japan to reconcile with her brother.
Her life remains ordered and structured even though she has entered a new society with different rules.

Sue grows up learning little about her Japanese heritage but fully understanding that her mother is very different than American mothers. The house runs on routines and rules even if they are American rules in her mother's eyes. With parents who have high expectations and strict rules, Sue naturally rebels and relationships are strained further as she marries young, has a daughter, and gets a divorce. Without a solid family foundation to ground her, Sue floats through life barely making ends meet and giving up on the dreams she once had.

Shoko's illness brings together her memories of Japan with her desire to reconnect with her brother. She is not strong enough to travel to Japan herself so she asks Sue to go in her place. While she fears her brother's reaction to the unexpected visit by relatives he has never met, she desires that Sue see where she comes from and learn about her family heritage. Sue and her daughter undertake the journey and come home with a larger sense of self and family. Shoko's brother, Taro, does not tell the story that Shoko fears he will but instead leaves that for her to share if she wishes. While the reunion is rocky, Taro does eventually come to terms with his rejection of Shoko when she married an American and develops a relationship with his American family.
I did find the stilted conversation annoying. After so many years in America one would have thought she would have learned to speak better.

It is very rare that I give a book a 5 star rating but How to Be an American Housewife definitely deserves one. ( ( )

Could have been better, I really only liked the last part. ( )