125/2020. Is this great literature? No, of course not, it's an average 3/5. Is it a great comedy travelogue? Yes, despite the fact that I'm not an especial fan of Tony Hawks, I'd rate this book 4.5/5. I'm guessing it helps if a reader is familiar with his particular brand of dry humour though.

Quotes

Lol: Salvation Army = "religious militia".

Pointless: "And so I went about my business, having successfully attached enormous gravitas to a manifestly pointless pursuit. But why did there always have to be a point? Why couldn't you just get stuck in and do things? What was the point of anything anyway? What was the point in football? What was the point in working, retiring, saving money, raising a family, going to church or standing for election? The only thing I could feel sure had a point was the sharp bit at the very end of a dart. and even that was useless unless it got stuck into things."

I once had to email a church about embarrassing spelling mistakes on their website: "The Father then handed me a leaflet giving details about his basilica, which included a delightfully hopeless English translation of the text. It was riddled with mistakes, my favourite being the constant use of the word 'warship' instead of 'worship'. It seemed a fitting error, somehow acknowledging the role that religion had played in the fostering of warfare down the years."

From an interview with a Moldovan oligarch football club owner, and anyone who believes this is only happening in the former Eastern bloc or in football is extremely naive: "The Green One's answer was unashamedly frank. He paid for it with laundered money. In this country, he maintained, you could not make money officially because then you would lose all of it in taxes. A shocking remark, not because it revealed anything that I hadn't already suspected, but because he was prepared to make it on camera for broadcast across the United Kingdom. No caution, no guilt, no fear, no conscience. He was too powerful for any of that stuff. This guy could pretty much do what he wanted. He was one of an emerging Ruling Class in Eastern Europe whose success appeared to be based on stretching the rules to their own advantage."

At a football match in Northern Ireland: "I don't normally stand for the national anthem, given that I'm not sure I approve of what it stands for, but on this occasion I felt that not to do so might have incurred the wrath of those around me. Cravenly I rose to my feet and sang the mindless words.
God save our gracious Queen
Long live our noble Queen
God save the Queen
Why should God save the Queen? Certainly ahead of anyone else. Were we suggesting there ought to be some kind of pecking order for God's protective hand? If so, what number was I going to come in at?"

Lol: "The selfish actions of Saddam Hussein nearly messed things up for me. He had incurred the wrath of the Americans by refusing to let UN investigators see if Iraq had as many evil weapons of destruction stashed away as they did." ( )

Auch diesmal geht Tony Hawks wieder eine Wette ein. Er muss elf moldawische Fußballnationalspieler im Tennis schlagen, ansonsten nackt auf einem Platz in London die moldawische Nationalhymne singen. Anders als beim "Kühlschrank-Buch" ist diesmal das Problem, dass Tony ganz lange Zeit keinen Schritt weiter kommt. jeder andere hätte schon längst aufgegeben, Tony aber verfolgt unbeirrt seine Idee. Das ist vielleicht das Interessanteste an dem Buch, wie er Moldawien erlebt, positiv und negativ. das Buch ist dahingehend wirklich charmant, denn die Idee ist verrückt, sinnlos und zum Scheitern verurteilt, doch Tony geht einfach seinen Weg. Lustig geschrieben ist das Buch zudem. Warum aber die Fußballer Zeit und Lust haben sollten, mit ihm Tennis zu spielen, erschließt sich mir übrigens von vornherein nicht. Hinter dieser Idee liegt schon auch eine gewisse "First-World"-Arroganz. ( )

Tony Hawks has produced a number of travelogues, with varying degrees of quality. "Playing the Moldovans at Tennis" is one of his better attempts, although that wasn't difficult.

Hawks used to be a talented junior tennis player and so embarks on one of those quests that seem to bob up regularly these days; he would play and beat each member of the Moldovan soccer team in a game of tennis. If he won, his friend would appear naked on one of the busiest thoroughfares in London, singing Moldova's national anthem. If Hawks lost, it would be him doing the duty.

Hawks heads to spots around the world, including Moldova and its separatist region Transnistria. I won't offer any spoilers but rest assured there is nude singing at the end. ( )

Before I read this I had heard of Moldova but only through football. I think it gives a decent insight into life in post soviet Moldova, although a follow up would be good just to see how much life has changed ten years on.Also liked that he stayed with a local family as this gives a better insight into daily life and shows just how much we in the west take for granted. ( )

Londoner Tony Hawks takes up a bet with his friend Arthur that he can defeat all 11 players of the Moldovan football team who had just completed a match in England at tennis. It's been awhile since Tony has played, and no one really knows if any of the football players is good at tennis. Hawks sets off to begin his quest and meets a number of obstacles along the way. The language, of course, is a barrier, but the players are quite spread out as far as their regular clubs are concerned. Some of their managers are not cooperative. In the end, Tony travels not only to Moldova but to Beirut and Israel in his quest to win the bet. I won't give away the outcome of the matches, but the book provides a nice change of pace from most travelogues and contains some quite humorous incidents along the way. ( )