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Daniel Isn't Talking

par Marti Leimbach

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3672469,333 (3.58)19
A novel exploring the effects of autism on a young family explains a mother's determination to help her autistic child, taking on the experts and her own family to teach her child to become as "normal" as possible.
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I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this book. A mother struggles with the label of autism her son receives. ( )
  Erica8 | Dec 8, 2021 |
Vaccines don’t cause autism. Unorthodox ideas don’t cure it. But autistic kids are real individuals with real families, and Marti Leimback’s novel convincingly evokes that reality with engaging humor and enthralling detail. The only way I knew this book was fiction, in fact, was from the way those details drew me to share the protagonist’s life rather than just hearing about it.

An American woman living in England, Melanie feels that slight detachment from reality familiar to expats everywhere. A fracturing marriage adds to the separation of real life from intended dreams. But her autistic child is even more detached, and Melanie fights to get the right treatment for him—treatment that might work—running the gamut of “was it the vaccine?” “will goat’s milk help?” and “please don’t lock him away in a school for no-hopers.”

Daniel isn't Talking isn't a personal experience story or a self-help book. In fact, it would probably be risky to use it for self-help as, among other things, it honestly explores the doubts a mother might have about the vaccines and the prognoses given her child. But it's an enthralling novel, filled with memorably characters, humor, pathos and hope. Its miracles are those small miracles of real life, and its message offers a hope worth pursuing, for mothers, wives, carers and children alike.

Disclosure: I picked it up at a book exchange because I have a relative with autism. ( )
  SheilaDeeth | Mar 2, 2017 |
Melanie can't understand why her three year old can't talk and avoids all sorts of human interaction. When they, Melanie and her husband Stephen, finally find the cause of why their son is the way he is they don't know what to do. He's autistic. Stephen unable to cope with Melanie's overbearing motherly instincts and his son's autism runs into the arms of an old flame. Left alone to try and help her son, Melanie turns to, Andy, a man who deals with and helps autistic children and their families. Will Melanie and her family ever be able to move on and find the happiness they deserve.

When I first saw this book I thought it could be interesting don't get me wrong it was. I just didn't like the attitude of the book, the way it was written or the female protagonist.

This book irritated me more than words can describe. The protagonist was more concerned about making her autistic son "normal" than with learning to cope with his condition. Yes, I understand that you'd do anything and everything you can to help your child become the very best they can be. I didn't feel this was the case with Melanie. I felt she just wanted to do anything and everything she could to stop her son being autistic but not for him, for HER. This book to me belittled everything about a disabled person making them seem like nothing but dribbling imbeciles. This quote could possibly be why I came to this conclusion: "But I don't want to put him in a classroom. What is so great about a classroom anyway? It holds no magic. How will it help him, to be with children whose behaviour is abnormal?... All he will do is imitate children who aren't acting like ordinary children in the first place. I've spent six months teaching him how to imitate and now they want his role models to be children who are not able to attend regular school themselves?"

She was more focused on ranting about her husband, or rather soon-to-be ex, and being "me, me, me" focused. I nearly gave up several times and carried on hoping the book would get better. I hate to say it didn't. This was full of stereotypes. The attitude about special schools, well, that just annoyed me more. Not only was it deemed to be more of a prison, or even worse a concentration camp, but that only the simpletons of the world dare pass their threshold - having had a sibling go to such a place and met people from there I know this is not the case.

Here's an example that showcases why I got irritated and perfectly sums up the book: "'He's autistic. That's what they've said. He will not grow up like a normal child. It's the worst thing that can possibly happen." He's autistic so therefore he's not going to have anything that slightly resembles a life that the mass majority have. ( )
  Chicalicious | Jun 3, 2015 |
This is a good book which I appreciated much more after I read it completely and also read "A note from the author". During my read of the novel, I thought it was transforming into a competition between the two men in Melanie's life, but, by the end of the book, I saw it was much more than that. My favorite part about Daniel, Melanie's autistic son, was when the author wrote the following which seemed to run more true in the way it was expressed than anything else in this book.

"Some mothers appear to make a badge out of autism, behaving as though it is not a disability but a "difference" and that we shouldn't be seeking to cure these children. Understanding is what is in order, they cry, a broader mind, an enlightened perspective. What you know about such people is that they have a child who functions very well, who may have Asperger's syndrome and not full-blown autism, and that they have probably not scrubbed feces from their carpet, or watched their child dry and rock in what looks like agony because he cannot speak. These people annoy me a little, although I admire how they cope, admire their presence of mind, their fearless defenses of their children. But we've walked different paths, and they are talking about mine as though they've been there, which they have not, and will not. Because having a child with autism--at least the type of autism I have experienced--is less like walking a patch than like hacking at a jungle with a scythe, not able to see much in front of you at all except more stuff you have to clear or step over, or around, or through." ( )
  SqueakyChu | Dec 26, 2014 |
Don't read this book!!! The author gives a completely stereotyped, unrealistic portrayal of children with autism. Being a speech-language pathologist that works with children with autism, I was offended by the generalized portrayal and lack of research put into this book. I actually wrote to the author because I was enraged by her portrayal of speech therapist in certain chapters. ( )
  kjmslp | Feb 5, 2014 |
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Some mothers appear to make a badge out of autism, behaving as though it is not a disability but a "difference" and that we shouldn't be seeking to cure these children. Understanding is what is in order, they cry, a broader mind, an enlightened perspective. What you know about such people is that they have a child who functions very well, who may have Asperger's syndrome and not full-blown autism, and that they have probably not scrubbed feces from their carpet, or watched their child dry and rock in what looks like agony because he cannot speak. These people annoy me a little, although I admire how they cope, admire their presence of mind, their fearless defenses of their children. But we've walked different paths, and they are talking about mine as though they've been there, which they have not, and will not. Because having a child with autism--at least the type of autism I have experienced--is less like walking a patch than like hacking at a jungle with a scythe, not able to see much in front of you at all except more stuff you have to clear or step over, or around, or through.
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