I have been reading this book in tandem with _City of the Night_, one of the novels Rechy based on parts of his life described in this book, which was written later. In both works one can see the extreme role-playing of the gay lifestyle in the 50s and 60s, the fear of arrest or exposure, and the denial and self-hatred. Rechy spent years centering his identity on his sexual desirability, his ability to attract men willing to pay him for fleeting, non-reciprocated sex. In the hustling world he had to conceal his intellect and deny that he was attracted to men. His descriptions of interactions regarding his writing are reminiscent of the pitfalls surrounding women with talent-- as he avoids the 'casting couch' and insists on having his work accepted for it's own sake. The kept woman of the tile was a figure from his childhood: the older sister of Rechy's younger sister's husband, who had defied her father's wrath to attend the wedding. The young Rechy saw the woman, mysterious and veiled, and heard her referred to as 'the kept woman' of a powerful and wealthy man in Mexico. She becomes s symbol for him of someone who lives her life in defiance of conventional morality. Another memory from his youth is a young woman whom he had dated briefly, who remakes herself by taking another name and leaving El Paso. She successfully poses as Spanish and marries a prominent San Franciscan. Many of the people mentioned are given fake names, as most were not out of the closet. Others, such as Christopher Isherwood and Allen Ginsberg are named. It is interesting to note that open rebellion against police abuses was sporadic in LA long before the Stonewall riot.

A memoir by a fine writer but I didn't care about his coming of age. I could have skipped the first three quarters of the book and been fine. The last quarter when he is an adult, hustling, and writing is interesting. ( )