Asian Values changing

"Divorce provides a window into the personal and emotional lives of people from all classes", the author states in the introduction. Times and cultures could have been added, as his book shows.

Several traditional societies, especially those not influenced by Christianity, have recognised and permitted divorce in various forms for centuries. Japan had a high divorce rate until the turn of the 20th century. In the 19th century divorce required no assistance of a court and was mostly settled by "divorce letters". Social stigma seemed almost absent for both men and women. The Japanese saw divorce as an expression of the will of the people and sin had no place. Various articles published at the times claimed Japan had the highest divorce rate in the world. It was only eclipsed by the United States since the 1970's. Japan's divorce rate declined gradually until the 1940's to a level equivalent to France's or Sweden's.

To explain the changing attitudes to his subject the author looks at law, demographic and survey data, as well as social and ethnographic commentary and personal writing.

A wide range of variations for a recognised union between a man and a woman had existed in Japan. Cohabitation, a socially legitimised union or a registered marriage were all more or less equally valid. Visual marks like hairstyles, blackened teeth and depilation of eye brows marked a wifely status, transforming young women shortly into "haggard, middle-aged women with vacant faces". Very few people remained bachelors or spinsters. Marriages were mostly arranged (78% under Taisho, of which 40% unseen). Normally the bride would marry into the husband's family, but some men married into the bride's family and took her family name. A couple was meant to continue a family line. Divorce meant cutting ties with a wider family.

During the Edo Period the state took a laissez faire approach without national laws on marriage and divorce. Amicable settlement was the norm with conflicts handled by local communities. Divorce was most restricted in the samurai class, whose members often required permission of superiors. It did not diminish the frequency. Daughters of the samurai class were taught the seven reasons Confucian scholars gave for divorce (page 19), placing the wive at the mercy of their in-laws. Such wives were meant to be "paragons of endurance". It did not reflect practice, however. The samurai were about 6% of the population and marriage approval by the Shogunate was a form of control over the samurai houses. Divorce would rise during the Tokugawa from around 11% to 19%. Among commoners divorce ranged between 10% and 40% depending on the region, with divorce rates lower in the west and higher in the east, a difference reflected among the samurai. Plays often depict the spouse marrying into a family as virtuous victims. According to 1668 guidelines a husband had the complete right to divorce provided he returned the dowry. The rights of women to divorce ultimately depended upon the husband, unless the separation had been more than 3 years.

Some Buddhist temples operated as divorce temples. They were a state sanctioned mechanism whereby women might severe their marital ties. It protected a wife but limited her options for a time. As a proportion of divorces they were insignificant however.

Divorce was so high in Japan, because the family system treated marriage as conditional (page 47). This was sometimes emphasised by temporary or trial unions. The strength of a union had to be tested through living and working together. Official notification of marriage was delayed and divorce was frequent. Commoners began living together, sometimes marking the occasion with a ceremony, before informing the local authorities. Especially in Western Japan custom explicitly recognised living together before marriage as a time of probation. The birth of a child was considered synonymous with a mature relationship. Besides a main wife a husband was permitted to keep one or more secondary wives. It was mostly practiced among elite status groups. The vast majority of people were monogamous and the family of the wife considered exaggerated involvement with a prostitute or his keeping of a concubine as a reason of divorce. Household conflict was minimised by distinguishing responsibilities between a main wife and a secondary wife. Only in 1898 did the Civil Code limit marriage through an act of registration. The code failed to legally accept concubines and made bigamy a punishable offence. The number of illegitimate children peaked in 1910 at 9% and declined to 0.8% in the 1980's.

Generally divorce rates were higher among the lower classes and in the countryside. It was higher in small cities than in large cities. High divorce rates in eastern Japan correlated with youthful marriage, a large average household size, and in-wed husbands. Divorce occurred relatively soon after a marriage became official (46% of divorces within 2 years in 1899). The higher the divorce rate of a prefecture, the earlier the divorce. Divorcees quickly re-integrated into their natal families, suggesting that ties were not severed. Remarriage was common for both sexes, and happened much faster among divorce(e)s than among widow(er)s, which proofs that the primary function of divorce was to rearrange people in the hope of a new and better match. Women divorced earlier and remarried more frequently. Various reasons were given for divorce, but lack of harmony between the spouses or the two families were the overarching themes (page 76). Mistreatment was a legitimate reason for divorce. In the case of divorcing a wife, theft, laxity in filial obligations and adultery were further specified. Infertility is missing (page 78). Adultery was not a legitimate reason for women to divorce their husbands. Popular customs of divorce strongly affirmed the right of the divorced wife to receive her dowry back, but she forfeited her dowry if she was considered the "cause" for divorce. Dowries in general were low in value, which may have contributed to the instability of marriage. In rare instances, wives might receive allowances in addition to their dowries, again depending on the reasons for divorce. Bridewealth also had to be returned. Enforcement was mostly a community matter, organised through a go-between. Traditionally children would go to the parent of the same sex or stay in the family house, independent of which parent lived there. The latter became more popular across time. All children went to the father among the samurai class. Visitation rules and child support do not seem to have been issues.

Gradually divorce rates became more uniform and dropped by at least 50% between the 1880's and the 1930's. The length of marriage before divorce also rose. In eastern Japan divorce rates fell faster. This went hand in hand with government efforts to build a modern nation, which introduced new systems of political, economic, communications, and educational infrastructure. Marriage had taken on a new meaning.

The decree of 1873 brought about the registration of the cause for divorce in the court papers related to a case. Teaching morality to citizens became more important. Modernisers at the time saw the ease of divorce as a social inequality in favour of men. Some saw insufficient interaction before and after marriage as a cause for the high divorce rates.

A new civil law code based upon the Napoleonic Code of 1873 would give fairly detailed regulations for divorce. It treated divorce more liberally than the law at that time in Europe (page 106). Subsequently more cumbersome versions were drafted (page 108). The government was to get involved in divorce to preserve marriages. The "evil customs" had to be changed to make people marry more cautiously. The proposals were not accepted. The 1898 Code tilted unconsensual divorce towards the husband's rights, and demanded of women a 6 month grace period before remarriage (page 116). Divorce due to insult by or of the spouse's lineal ascendants was a specifically Japanese cause for divorce.

The reasons for the decline from 1900 onwards are not very clear. It is suggested that a weakening of ties to the wider group of kin strengthened marriage.

There is a correlation between the chance of divorce and the presence of mothers-in-law. While a bride adapted to her new environment, her husband and his family, but especially the mother-in-law, were meant to train her in the duties of the wife of the (future) household head. This process had potential for friction. Not fitting into the "ways of the house" was a frequently repeated reason for divorce. With the migration to the cities the nuclear family has been the predominant household type since 1920. "Love marriages" became more common. More choice, increased familiarity, heightened emotional affection and downplayed functional work roles were important factors. "See-meeting marriages" rose from 38% (1912-1926) to 51% (1936-1945). Another factor is the rise of the age of marriage, related to compulsory elementary education. Older spouses had more realistic world views and stronger standing in the household.

Most important was the change in values and attitudes towards marriage. Japan had neither a religious nor a legal ceremony. The Christian wedding inspired Japanese reformers. The later emperor Taisho married in a newly designed Shinto-style ritual in 1900. Shinto, Buddhist and Christian rituals rose in popularity. Dowry amounts had risen. The increased costs made a marriage more valuable. Economic and social stability in marriage were valued above romance and affection.

For most of the post-war period Japanese divorce rates were lower than those of continental Europe, but they are now roughly the same. Divorce occurs averagely after a much longer period of marriage than before. Dating has now replaced cohabitation as the most common means of mate-testing. The costs of weddings often exceed two years of the groom's income. Excessive emotional attachment to their mothers is a modern reason for wives to dispose of husbands. Maternal custody of children is now the norm, a change that occurred much earlier in the West (page 157). Out-of-wedlock births are much lower than in the West.

In 1997 the Ministery of Education rejected science books because they overemphasised rising divorce rates which contradicted "traditional Japanese values".

Divorce in Japan is full of interesting details. It has changed my perception of the country's history (it moved it somewhat more from China towards the southeast of the Asian continent on my mental map) and influenced my understanding of Asian values. ( )