Wrenching stories of failed friendships. This book brought back some unpleasant memories for me, as well as some that have become bittersweet with time. There are several famous writers sprinkled throughout, including Dorothy Allison and Diana Abu Jaber. Two essays are about the same friendship, told from each woman's side. Uncomfortable and compelling at the same time. ( )

From The Book Wheel:

The Friend Who Got Away: Twenty Women’s True Life Tales of Friendships that Blew Up, Burned Out or Faded Away by Jenny Offill and Elissa Schappell (author of Blueprints for Building Better Girls, which is on my Kindle) is a book of essays written by women who lost a female friendship. Some were by choice, others by mistake, and a few for no reason at all. As a woman who is entering her 30′s, I have begun to experience first hand the effects of losing a longtime female friendship for no other reason other than drifting away, and I have ended some by choice.

What I loved about this book is that it’s honest. The introduction discusses how it’s okay to breakup with lovers, but that female friendship rarely end with a clean break. This is because women hold each other to higher standards, and to commit an act of betrayal against a female friend is much worse than having done so in a romantic relationship (and women also grant other women more leeway in their behaviors).

While all of the essays were great, I was most intrigued by the back-to-back essays written by two women who had lost their friendship years before. It was fascinating to see two different people describe their perception of the friendship and its dissolution, demonstrating that each person perceives and feels things different.

This is a great book for any woman who has ever lost a friend to time, betrayal, or simply to the circumstances of life. It was nice to realize that I am not alone and that it’s okay not to feel guilty about the ending of a friendship. It’s more important for women to celebrate the time they had together than to focus on the drifting apart. ( )

This book is exactly what it says it is: stories of women's friendships that have ended (although, really, some of the essays were about childhood friendships, which don't seem to have the same levels of depth as adult women's friendships). There is practically no analysis or in-depth studies of commonalities or causes; instead, the story is just laid out there, the end.

A few of the stories resonated with me. I mean, haven't we all lost a close friend, whether to death, distance, jealousy, etc? But if you're reeling from a close friendship that just ended, this isn't the book for you (I recommend "Best Friends Forever," written by the author of the Friendship Blog, which helped me immensely). But most of the stories didn't. I can't say that I regret reading this book, but it is a book that I will forget quickly. ( )

Although I didn't love all the stories in this book of essays, there were a few that really spoke to me. That reminded me of my own 'friends who got away' ... that made me sad, frustrated and nostalgic all at once! Friendships are complicated and I think almost everyone has experienced letting go of a friendship or being let go of ... it's pretty universal. As a result, it was really quite interesting to read about the experiences of other women ... their feelings, their motivations, as well as their justifications. Overall, I'm glad that I read this collection of essays but it wasn't a personal favorite. ( )

Although I didn't love all the stories in this book of essays, there were a few that really spoke to me. That reminded me of my own 'friends who got away' ... that made me sad, frustrated and nostalgic all at once! Friendships are complicated and I think almost everyone has experienced letting go of a friendship or being let go of ... it's pretty universal. As a result, it was really quite interesting to read about the experiences of other women ... their feelings, their motivations, as well as their justifications. Overall, I'm glad that I read this collection of essays but it wasn't a personal favorite. ( )