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Chargement... In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing With Manipulative People (original 1996; édition 1996)par George K. Simon (Auteur)
Information sur l'oeuvreIn Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People par George K. Simon Jr. (Author) (1996)
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Inscrivez-vous à LibraryThing pour découvrir si vous aimerez ce livre Actuellement, il n'y a pas de discussions au sujet de ce livre. Summary The book is an operating manual for folks who might find themselves dealing with a covert aggressive personality type. Liked Differentiation of neurotic vs character sufficiency spectrum Didn't vilify the character difficient beyond pointing out that the may be mal adapted to current societal trends Could be improved The book has a tone that was a little too pleased with homself. It would have been better if there had been more links to further reading and other related areas of research. Stories were a bit one sided and too smooth. When people then use the stories to justify the conclusions I think the final ideas suffer for that. Perhaps include a more detailed version of case studies in an appendix. There's a social agenda woven into the book as well. Not sure what I think about that. Highlight Don't make the mistake of assuming everyone's basically the same on the inside. Yes I needed some reassurance. This book provided that in a concise manner and with some strategies to use going forward. So there, everyone happy. One religious reference and a quite redundant state of the nation type spiel at the end of the book. I did think there were one or two omissions - maybe they're in his next book. Fuck. Manny’s reading this book In Sheep’s Clothing Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People and I’m thinking he’s going to start applying it to goodreads, isn’t he? He’s going to start looking at reviews and writing comments like, sorry, but that’s a review that’s trying to get a vote through covert-aggression and I’m not falling for it. Vote withheld. So he says he’s especially interested in this concept covert-aggression, he thinks it’s useful and I’ve spent all night sitting up in bed here in hospital going through my reviews and wondering. Shit. Is that review where I said I was going to kill myself if people didn’t vote for it, is that covert aggression? It doesn’t seem covert to me, I thought it was just desperate, but. And that review where – Before I went too far I thought I’d better look up what it means and I found this extract from the book itself, which I’ve quoted in part, for the detail go to http://www.rickross.com/reference/brainwashing/brainwashing11.htm
So, this is what I want to say right now before the whole Manny psycho-analysing goodreads friends starts. I’m not covertly aggressive. Anybody who thinks I am is just not able to see that it is their problem that I’m like this, not mine. Telling you I’m writing this in hospital is not a covert aggressive attempt to make you feel like you have to vote for my review, even though it’s probably the fault of whoever is reading this that I’m here. If this review isn’t any good it’s not my fault, you should blame the author of the book, George Simon and Manny, not necessarily in that order. Frankly I already feel like I’m a victim of Manny’s use of psycho-analysis on goodreads, even though it hasn’t happened yet. I would also point out that I vote for lots of your reviews, Manny, and isn’t that worth anything? And, Manny, if I may end by blowing you a kiss and hoping it lands in the right place, I am just so NOT doing this:
I just love blowing you kisses, even if it isn’t going to get me a vote. x aucune critique | ajouter une critique
Dr. George K. Simon knows how people push your buttons: your children-especially teens-are experts at it, as is your mate. A coworker may quietly undermine your efforts while professing to be helpful, or your boss may prey on your weaknesses. Manipulative people have two goals: to win and to look good doing it. Too often, those they abuse are only vaguely aware of what is happening to them.In this eye-opening book, you'll discover:-four reasons why victims have a hard time leaving abusive relationships-power tactics manipulative people use to push their own agendas and justify their behavior-ways to redefine the rules of engagement between you and the abuser-how to spot potential weaknesses in your character that can set you up for manipulation-two tools for personal empowerment to help you maintain greater strength in all relationships Aucune description trouvée dans une bibliothèque |
Discussion en coursAucunCouvertures populaires
Google Books — Chargement... GenresClassification décimale de Melvil (CDD)158.2Philosophy and Psychology Psychology Applied Psychology Interpersonal relationsClassification de la Bibliothèque du CongrèsÉvaluationMoyenne:
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My mom and dad were Innocents. Moreover, they were too poor and not strong enough to support the seven children that they had. Consequently, I grew up without any real guidance to prepare me for the jungle of the world. I spent most of my life being run over by covertly or overtly-aggressive people. All of the partners I had in my life used and abused me and I tended to blame myself. Finally, I realized that I simply do not know how to judge a partner and that I was better off alone. How I wish I would have read this book or one like it when I was young. I'm 65 years old now and I'm only barely coming to know how to recognize and stop in its tracks a person trying to manipulate me. Here are some of the quotes from this book that I copied to help myself remember what kind of people I live in this world with:
When you're determined to have your way or gain advantage and you're open, direct, and obvious in your manner of fighting, your behavior is best labeled overly aggressive.p.19
When someone is being covertly aggressive, they're using calculating, underhanded means to get what they want or manipulate the response of others while keeping their aggressive intentions undercover. Page 20
Personality can also be defined as the unique manner that a person develops of perceiving, relating to an interacting with others and the World At Large. Page 29
The aspect of someone's personality that reflects how they accept and fulfill their social responsibilities and how they conduct themselves with others has sometimes been referred to as character. ....Persons of sound character temper their instinctual drives, moderate important aspects of their conduct, and especially, discipline their aggressive tendencies in the service of the greater social good. Page 29
Character - disordered personalities lack self - restraint when it comes to acting upon their Primal urges. They're not bothered enough by what they do. They're the kind of people who have two little conscience. Page 32
Character - disordered personalities, unencumbered by qualms of conscience, passionately pursue their personal goals with indifference to - and often at the expense of - the rights and needs of others, and cause all sorts of problems for others and Society at Large.
Problematic aspects of personality are ego - syntonic (i e character disordered personalities like who they are and are comfortable with their behavior patterns, even though who they are and how they act might bother others a Lot). They rarely seek help on their own but are usually pressured by others. Page 35
Problematic patterns of thinking are common to all types of disordered characters. Here are a couple:
Xtreme (all - or - none) thinking. The disordered character tends to think that if she can't have everything she wants, she won't accept anything. If she's not on top, she sees herself at the bottom. If someone doesn't agree with everything she says, she thinks they don't value her opinions at all.
Egomaniacal thinking. The disordered character so over values herself that she thinks that she is entitled to whatever she wants. SHe tends to think that things are owed her, as opposed to accepting that she needs to earn the things she desires. This kind of thinking promotes attitudes of superiority, arrogance, and entitlement. Page 37
Today's culture places such a premium on winning, and so little value on how we conduct the fight for personal success and dignity, that aggression against one another - destructive, pointless aggression - is way out of control.
Our country's founding fathers intended there to be fierce debate and competition in the arena of political ideas in order to keep a check on the power of government to prevent any one party's idiology from overly dominating all others. Today, the fighting that goes on in the political world is also out of hand. What was supposed to be a spirited contest about critical issues is often a no-holds-barred donnybrook between two opponents, each trying to decimate the other. And the fight the politicians wage is mostly about winning and securing or holding onto power. It's much less about striving to uphold principles or Advance the country's security and prosperity. it's no wonder that so many covertly aggressive personalities find a home for themselves in the world of politics. Page 165
To a disheartening degree, we have become a nation of misguided, undisciplined fighters who are no longer United in a common cause of mutual advancement and prosperity but ensnarled in an quote every man for himself unquote pursuit of power and game. The biggest reason that our country as a whole is losing its once outstanding character is because there are fewer and fewer people of sound character inhabiting it. P.169
A most disturbing trend has been emerging over the past several decades. Because truly pathological levels of neuroses have all but disappeared, and because character disturbance has become so commonplace, the social burden functional - level neurotics carry to make Society work has increased dramatically. Meanwhile, the burden placed on character - disordered individuals who tend to shirk their social responsibilities anyway has dramatically decreased. The integrity of our society cannot be maintained if this trend continues much longer. Greatness of our nation's character can only be determined by the degree to which its citizens develop, maintain, and display character in their daily affairs.
P.169
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