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Prayers for Bobby: A Mother's Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her Gay Son

par Leroy F. Aarons

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Bobby Griffith was an all-American boy ...and he was gay. Faced with an irresolvable conflict-for both his family and his religion taught him that being gay was "wrong"-Bobby chose to take his own life. Prayers for Bobby, nominated for a 1996 Lambda Literary Award, is the story of the emotional journey that led Bobby to this tragic conclusion. But it is also the story of Bobby's mother, a fearful churchgoer who first prayed that her son would be "healed," then anguished over his suicide, and ultimately transformed herself into a national crusader for gay and lesbian youth. As told through Bobby's poignant journal entries and his mother's reminiscences, Prayers for Bobby is at once a moving personal story, a true profile in courage, and a call to arms to parents everywhere.… (plus d'informations)
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Bobby realizes at a very young age that he is different from the other boys. As he grows older, he begins to experiment with sex and realizes that he is, in fact, gay. Unfortunately, his Mother, who is very religious believes that Bobby's "affliction" is caused by the Devil and that he is being lured into this lifestyle and that God will heal him.

Although Mary continues to believe that God can heal all, Bobby's other siblings have learned to accept Bobby for who he is and try to support him but at this point Bobby is frustrated and confused and not sure what to think. He believes himself to be evil and ugly and notes this in the journal that he keeps.

After Bobby commits suicide, Mary begins to read his journals and it's only then that she realizes her mistake. Bobby was not "healable" because there was nothing wrong with him to begin with. After this revelation she goes on a mission to save other kids like Bobby and through her efforts, many congregations begin to incorporate gay references into its liturgy.

I had to stop reading this a few times because the subject matter was very depressing. As a mother, I cannot even imagine what Mary went through when she realized her mistake. I mean, this is a true story and Bobby's journal entries are so wrought with pain that it just tugs at your heart.

However, towards the end of the book, I felt as if it fell out of balance a bit. The last third of the book focuses on Mary's cause and getting the church to acknowledge gays and lesbians. This was a bit tedious for me and I skimmed a lot of it.

Overall, this isn't really a book you'd pick up on your own. My book club selected this book for June and we are discussing it this Thursday so I am looking forward to seeing what issues are discussed and "how" they are discussed because of the touchy subject matter (homosexuality, religion, suicide).

Lifetime aired a movie version based on the book. The trailer for it looks pretty good but I haven't seen the movie yet. ( )
  tibobi | Jun 2, 2009 |
This deeply-disturbing but enlightening book has now been made into a TV movie. It is the story of Bobby Griffith and his family, especially his mother. Bobby came out as gay to his family in 1979, when he was 16, Most of his family was highly religious, and his mother, worried that he would be eternally damned, kept telling him he could change if he believed enough. It didn't happen, and Bobby, age 20, committed suicide by dropping off an overpass into the path of an 18 wheeler.

Mary Griffith's grief was intense. Eventually she began questioning her faith, that told her her son was sinful. She finally came to understand that nothing was wrong with Bobby... but something was very wrong with a religion and a sodiety that causes cildren such self-hatred that they cannot survive. Mary had another difficult-to-handle bout of grief when she understood fully her part in Bobby's death. Her strength and courage won out, and she became an advocate for gay and lesbian youth.

It is a hard book to read... it makes real so much pain, and shows the extent of the problem for millions of gay and lesbian young people. Things have changed some, but there are still too many of these young people dealing with harassment and physical violence in schools, lack of acceptance by friends and family, and high levels of suicides and attempted suicides.

This is a must-read. ( )
  reannon | Feb 14, 2009 |
A beautiful tear jerker of a book about a mother's odyssey her Gay son who commits suicide - a wonderful and recommended book for any parent who might have a gay or lesbian child. Unfortunately, suicide is still in issue with our young people but not like in years past. ( )
  latinobookgeek | Mar 9, 2007 |
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Bobby Griffith was an all-American boy ...and he was gay. Faced with an irresolvable conflict-for both his family and his religion taught him that being gay was "wrong"-Bobby chose to take his own life. Prayers for Bobby, nominated for a 1996 Lambda Literary Award, is the story of the emotional journey that led Bobby to this tragic conclusion. But it is also the story of Bobby's mother, a fearful churchgoer who first prayed that her son would be "healed," then anguished over his suicide, and ultimately transformed herself into a national crusader for gay and lesbian youth. As told through Bobby's poignant journal entries and his mother's reminiscences, Prayers for Bobby is at once a moving personal story, a true profile in courage, and a call to arms to parents everywhere.

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