The Long Lasting Results of Abuse and Neglect

Chrissie grew up as a neglected, ignored, poor and hungry child. The resulting rage spilled over as she lashed out and killed children who were loved and well kept.
As an adult she must navigate motherhood, knowing that the hands her daughter trusted had once taken the lives of small, innocent children.
Is there redemption for the "baddest baddy" of them all? ( )

I read the story all the way through. It took forever because I felt like DNFing the book multiple times. It is written well, the storyline starts of gripping, and the characters can make you feel different emotions; but, it felt like the story didn’t go anywhere. A high grab you in moment at the begging that just seem to flatline through the story. ( )

3 stars
felt very similar to baby teeth, not enough happened so was kinda boring but overall a decent book.

characters: 3
plot: 2
writing: 3 ( )

The book is solitary on the shelf - imagine a novel whose first line is "I killed a little boy today." You have not met Chrissie, and you probably have never met anyone like Chrissie. She is not a fantasy-creation, specially made for a book, unlike anyone who could exist.
No spoilers here. The author holds a degree in experimental psychology from Oxford University and has published two non-fiction books in her field - mental health. ( )

The First Day of Spring by Nancy Tucker is a 2021 Riverhead Books publication.

This novel is so powerful and disturbing that words can hardly capture its impact.

Chrissie is eight years old when she kills for the first time- and her behavior initially reminded me of little Rhoda Penmark in ‘The Bad Seed’ …. only on steroids. She feels a surge of power and excitement knowing that she alone knows what happened to the boy- and is secretly delighted by the attention, but of course she knows she can’t brag about the crime and must avoid being caught.

But her home life is a different tale altogether. There she is neglected, abused and is literally starving to death.

Now, twenty years later, she is living under a new name, Julia, and has a daughter of her own, Molly. She wants to give Molly the childhood she never had, but she is haunted by guilt and paranoia, doubting her skills as a parent and fearing that Molly will be taken away from her- and fearing someone willl expose her dark past.

Then a situation arises that makes Julia believe her worse fears are about to be realized. Instead of allowing Molly to be taken from her, she decides to take her daughter and run…

The novel alternates between Chrissie’s and Julia’s perspectives, creating a contrast between the child and the adult versions of the same character. Tucker does an excellent job of portraying Chrissie’s voice and psychology, showing how she is shaped by her environment and her lack of love. She also explores the themes of nature versus nurture, redemption versus punishment, and motherhood versus childhood. The novel is gripping, unsettling and emotionally wrenching. It makes you question your own moral judgments and sympathies. It also leaves you with a glimmer of hope and peace at the end, which was deeply moving and satisfying.

I can’t believe this was Tucker’s first work of fiction!! She writes a dark- and I do mean DARK story- so disconcerting it becomes almost intolerable, but she handles it with great sensitivity and skill.

This novel is not for the faint of heart, but it is definitely worth reading if you are looking for a compelling and challenging story that will stay with you long after you turn the last page. ( )