Almost Inexplicable Until You Have the Key
Review of the Two Lines Press paperback edition (2017) of the English translation of the French language original "Mon cœur à l'étroit" (2007)

I feel quite positive about this book after feeling miserable about it for the first half. I was floundering in the paranoia and despair and not seeing any relief in sight except for the sometimes comical food scenes with the neighbour. Then I had a breakthrough.

I had started it thinking it was something like Dorothy Hughes' [book:The Expendable Man|12459312] which starts with a similar aura of paranoia which you can't understand but has a gut-punch reveal about 100 pages in. Ndiaye lets it all seep into you gradually without any sudden reveals. I felt the lack of an introduction to a 2017 translation of a 2007 book and felt that some added context would have helped. That meant that I had to research it myself. I fixated on the information that Ndiaye left France in protest after Sarkozy's election in 2007. I started imagining the husband Ange as a sickly France being nursed to death by the neighbour Noget (as a stand-in for Sarkozy) while Nadia (a stand-in for NDiaye) plans to leave him behind.

When I chanced upon the "Souhar" reveal (through the translator's hidden Q&A spoiler) it helped me to get oriented properly (this is what I mean by The Key in the lede above) and Nadia's paranoia (and the manifestation growing in her belly) all became much clearer as it being due to her disavowal of her origins and heritage. She (and Ange) became well (or at least relatively well) after she had reconciled herself to her past.

This was my first NDiaye, and it was a difficult read but ultimately still an interesting read which did end on a positive note. I'm definitely intrigued to read her further as her style appears to be quite unique and challenging.

I read My Heart Hemmed In as the December 2019 Group Read at the 100 Best Women in Translation Group on Goodreads. ( )