“Technology does not so much interfere with listening as make it seem unnecessary. Our devices indulge our fear of intimacy by fooling us into thinking that we are socially connected even when we are achingly alone. We avoid the messiness and imperfections of others, retreating into the relative safety of our devices, swiping and deleting with abandon. The result is a loss of richness and nuance in our social interactions, and we suffer from a creeping sense of dissatisfaction.” ( )

Focuses specifically on listening, but more of how listening works (neurology wise), why listen + the attitude/approach to listening. More mindset/attitude than how-to guide. You'll learn:

• How to overcome common barriers to listening, such as: assumptions, biases, distractions, conflicting views, and the tendency to focus on yourself instead of the other person.
• How to improve your listening skills and attitude to become a better listener, such as: being open and curious, directing your mental focus, listening for silences and underlying messages, creating a feedback loop, and knowing when to stop listening.

Book summary at: https://readingraphics.com/book-summary-youre-not-listening/ ( )

Listening is an often-overlooked skill in today’s society heavily geared around marketing and self-expression. It involves asking probing questions and interpreting each word, expression, and pause that a speaker makes. It’s critical for jobs in journalism, intelligence, leadership, and social work. In this book, journalist Kate Murphy explores how listening works and how you can make better use of its science.

For source material, Murphy interviewed hundreds of people from all walks of life along with interviewing experts from several academic disciplines, like neuroscience, business, and the social sciences. Her compiled product represents a comprehensive work that illuminates almost every life sector of this fundamental human trait. It applies equally to many disparate activities, such as organizational leadership, spying, and interrogation.

The contrast with the world of social media is stark. The communications revolution of the Internet has facilitated a huge growth in an individual’s ability to broadcast oneself widely. However, as research notes, society’s collective ability to listen and to learn has probably diminished. We lack appropriate self-discipline to expand our attention spans. This book offers a specific path to improve. The self-help does not consist of trite adages but instead explores the deep science of an all-too-human art form.

This book’s genre and audience are difficult to place. While applying to many sectors, it broadly reaches to a general audience. There’s hardly a part of modern life – say, politics, religion, or neighborly relations – that could not benefit from better human relationships. Better relationships start with listening to each other. Effective leadership anywhere is impossible without good ears and appropriate, targeted responses. (It helps to listen to this book about listening in an audiobook format, too!) Through personal insights and scientific research, Murphy lights a path to overcome social obstacles to solving big problems. ( )

You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters by Kate Murphy is an excellent self help book all about the constructs of becoming a better, active listener.

This book felt like a professionally written essay - the kind I would be required to read for my degree. It's thoughtful, has lots of great references and gives tips on how to be a better listener. It's a book all about psychology and people, so readers need to understand that going in. There's a lot of in depth thought and conversation going on in this book, so it's not necessarily the easiest book to read. It can be rather... boring... Oh dear, yeah, I said that scary word.

It's straight to the point with descriptions, explanations and examples. It's not witty or funny, it's a really well written take on good and bad listeners. It might not be insanely helpful to you though - it doesn't give you a step by step guide on how to listen to your partner/friend/parent/boss better. It explains why we don't listen well and why it's important to listen. If you want to learn exactly how to listen better it might be better to go to a therapist or social worker.

This book is super interesting though! I enjoyed reading it and understanding why people don't listen. Obviously there's a lot going on in people's lives, but we don't always remember that! Distractions, relationships, the environment - everything effects us.

Overall, this book is helpful and can give you a lot of learning opportunities.

Three out of five stars.

I received a free copy of this book from Goodreads First Reads. ( )

Pardon? ( )