Well written, nice shift back and forth between the deposition POV and the flashback. An interesting story of a young man trying to accept coming to terms with not only that he is bi, but accepting the fact that he has been verbally & mentally abused by his aunt. How his best friend is the one who helps him comes to this realization while also letting him go. At first, I thought that Cam was a snarky jerk but as the story went on, I realized he was just trying to help Nate. Nate was different from other YA characters. To see his struggle with catholic guilt to accepting his true identity was refreshing. ( )

This is a really hard read in that it's visceral and real, with a lot of shocking moments and a twist at the end that I didn't see coming (though it's obvious in hindsight).
It's from the POV of a Catholic school boy (Nathan) who is befriended by a new student (Cam) that very literally changes his world - from his views of religion, sexuality, and life itself. It starts after the end with Nathan giving a deposition to a lawyer about his life since he met Cam in class until the event that landed Cam possibly going to prison. While Nathan gives off the façade (that he himself seems to believe) of a perfect Catholic boy, what's behind it is a lot of family issues, abuse, and confusion that takes the reader on one hell of a dramatic rollercoaster. You want to reach in and really help Nathan out while also shaking some sense into him, because his life is trash and he just takes it because that's "just how it is."
The only issues I had is that these are younger high school boys and some of the dialogue is definitely not within that age group's purview, even those well educated. Also, the ending isn't quite satisfying but then it's also more realistic, because there aren't happy endings in real life and that adds to the realism of the narrative. Overall, a really good read. ( )

Haven't read this book yet. Just locking this link down:

Official Deposing Nathan Soundtrack

A lot of stuff jammed into 400 pages, and not an easy read. The story is difficult and fairly convoluted. Nate is being deposed as to the circumstances causing his close friend Cam to stab him in the stomach with a ceramic shard. The story moves back and forth from the deposition to the events leading the stabbing. There's a lot of subjects covered: sexuality, religion, family relationships, and friendships. The characters are messy, unyielding, and it's hard to feel empathy with them. Nate is full of self loathing and religious dogma, Cam is a know-it-all and a bit self-righteous, Aunt Lori is a psycho on a power trip, and absentee parents. The toxicity of Nate and Cam's relationship was ugly, their experimentation with bisexuality felt authentic, and the ending was a bit of a surprise, including the identity of Nate's pen pal and confidante. ( )

Actual Rating: 4.5 Stars

I’m not crying - you’re crying! (Okay no, I’m totally crying.) Damn I had no idea what to expect with this book. It was next on my list so I picked it up without even reading the synopsis. And wow. I’m not sure how to talk about it without giving too much away. This book is heavy heavy heavy and heartbreaking and there’s a little hope too which I think should always be a requirement in YA and the quickest way for me to hate a book is to take away the hope. And I’ve got hope for these boys.

I need an epilogue though. And a hug. ( )