Quickie Review (May contain spoilers, please be responsible before moving forward)

Colter's Woman is a reverse harem romance. I actually think I might have read one of the books from this series and I hadn't been a fan and probably why I put off this author for as long as I did. I just grabbed this one hoping that maybe I would enjoy it better but yeah I see why I struggled with these books. I do think these aren't this authors' strongest writing but it could also be the reverse harem aspect. That is NOT my cup of tea and the more I try I out, the more I realize its not a trope I like at all hardly. Every once in a while I can find one that will work for me, but for the most part its a trope I avoid. I really struggled with it at times. This isn't the worst RH that I have ever read though. but its definitely not the best. I really didn't know if I wanted to DNF this one or not, the pacing in this book was a bit off. Not sure I will continue the series, or if I do I will pace it out quite a bit. ( )

DNF

Absolutely terrible. Don't get me wrong, I love a good polyamorous romance book, but this is a textbook example on how to get it wrong. The main character is idiotic, the brothers are micromanaging and have no personality, and the sex is pretty blah. Normally I'm okay with a trashy book with a derivative plotline, but really.

So originally I was going to give this book three stars but here's the reason why I didn't.

Now, I've always considered myself an instant gratification kind of gal when it came to smutty books. And this was instant.

Actually, is there a word that describes more than instant gratification? It was like somebody opened up a big hopping steaming pile of overly instant gratification and dumped it on my head.

There is sex right from the get-go.

They find this girl in a ditch and decide that hey she's the one they're going to marry it's very alpha. It's very shifter romance with no shifting. And I believe they call that omegaverse or something to that effect. Honestly I don't know.

Anyway they find this girl in a ditch, and instantly it got hard-ons for her. They don't talk to her, don't get her in the house, don't know anything about her other than a bad blonde hair dye job and the fact that she is soaking wet. But yep that screams sex bomb to me too. Right?

There is no cohesiveness between finding her in the ditch to fingering her while trying to warm her up. An unconscious girl I should tell you that part too. It just didn't flow.

Also it seemed like the writer was trying to make it a POV but really screwed it up. It bounced all over the place. One minute they're talking through Adam's eyes, and then the next to talking through holly. But it's not like it's separated through any means. I mean like not a separate chapter or separate segment. You think that when they split up the segments that there's going to be another POV but nope they mix it up. So it's up to you to guess who they're talking about or whose thoughts are talking about.

the reason I gave it to stars, is because toward the end of the book it actually does start to get better. But there's still no cohesiveness. Nothing to glue it together. It's like the story is going around going around lots of sex lots of sex all in the beginning of the book and toward the middle of the book and then nothing at the end of the book. I mean you begin to think that pregnant women can't have sex.

Anyhow, if you are into instant gratification, and I mean extremely instant gratification, and a world of smut and lots and lots of it, then yes read this series but if you want a series that actually flows together maybe you might want to wait. Because honestly you will be lost and confused all through the beginning of the book.

I've recommended the book to a couple of my friends that are into basically lots and lots of sex and books. Which they all found a funny that I didn't like the book because of the fact of there being lots and lots of sex lol. Like I said I'm usually an instant gratification kind of gallon this brought it, nauseatingly so. But it wasn't my cup of tea.

Maybe you will like it better than I did. I can't wait to find out. ( )

I enjoyed this book. I had heard it had no plot so I put off reading it. But actually the plot was okay. Not real intricate but more than just a string of sex scenes. I liked that there was emotion involved in the sex/sharing rather than just lust. I could have used a bit more getting to know you stuff before they all hopped into bed. But hey I was suspending my disbelief. The heroine was a bit whiny but she seemed real, not all women are kick butt take charge ladies. She did seem to need more baths than other people. "Let's drive to Denver. We'll get a hotel room and take a shower. Then we'll go out to dinner and come back to the hotel room and take a shower." It was like she was a constuction worker or a mechanic.

I was glad the guys were brothers because I really don't like any m/m action in a menage. The guys all had distinct personalities also which is a plus in a menage book. I would have liked to have met the parents. Also, we had a scene where people were accepting of the situation, it would have been realistic to have a scene with an outsider showing disapproval just to round things out. All in all a pretty good menage story. ( )

I rated this three stars, but it is not a three star book. Here is my quandary. This is absolutely one of the worst books I have ever read BUT my enjoyment of the read is one of the primary considerations when I rate a book, and I enjoyed the hell out of this one. I quite literally could not stop laughing whilst reading. I get romances on audio so I can listen to them as I fall asleep, drifting off on thoughts of beautiful places and gorgeous, generous, sexually gifted men. Colters' Woman though did not lull me to sleep. This book kept me awake. It is not an exaggeration to say that in the first 2/3 of the book I did not go more than 5 minutes in the audio without laughing. I am not talking about a smile or a derisive snort, i am talking about cry-laughing alone in my room. Banks must have been on the good drugs when she wrote this one.

The premise (is this a premise?): The Colter boys live in a place (as we used to say about Michigan Tech when I was a lithesome coed) where the men are men, the women are scarce and the sheep are scared. They are looking for a wife. 1-for-all-3. Now, family is everything to me, but (there are so many ways I could finish this sentence, but I am going to leave it here and let anyone who reads this sentence finish it as they wish.) So the Brothers C are sitting around waiting for THE ONE, certain they will know her when the see her. Where they are going to see her I am not sure. There is only one woman anywhere nearby and they have already determined that she, the sheriff, is not THE ONE. Then, hallelujah! Adam finds a woman unconscious in a ditch and gets hard (ew!) and knows she is THE ONE, He carries her inside, She is suffering from exposure and dehydration and running from her murderous husband who is a really uncompelling villain.. As she hangs limply in Adam's arms, Ryan and Ethan see her. Sho 'nuff, schwing!schwing! Blood flow don't lie. She is THE ONE! They are all in love! And it all follows from there. I don't want to tell the whole story, and honestly the story beyond what I have shared really doesn't matter.

So all that takes me back to my first sentence, about how I don't know how to rate this. As noted this is objectively terrible in every way, The story, the writing, just everything is terrible. A single star would be a gift. BUT. If I had picked up a comedy book and it made me laugh this hard and consistently it would be a 5-star. Deciding on the rating turned out to be a bigger dilemma than I expected from a book where the primary plot can be condensed down to "3 holes no waiting." Thank god the Colters' parents stopped at 3 or they would have had to find THE TWO or else organize some sort of shift system. That would be complicated, but once you read the mechanics of their various 4-ways you will have to concede that all are clearly masters of trigonometry and geometry, and they know how to make gravity work for them, so an erotic work-wheel would likely be a cinch for these boys.

So do I recommend you read this? If you are looking for sexy material I think the answer is no. My jaw muscles started to ache in sympathy during every sex scene, to say nothing of my sphincter. If you are reading for the romance my answer is also no. There is nothing romantic about three men getting boners looking at an unconscious woman they have never seen before and instantly deciding they will spend the rest of their lives with her. Even more unromantic is a woman who has made a terrible decision in choosing her first husband and then decides what the hell, yeah three horny brothers I met an hour ago sound good to me. However, if you are looking to laugh and laugh at purple prose and instalust and the poetic pronouncements of deeply lonely cowboys, and if you are a reader who will take pleasure as you marvel at the unbounded ingenuity of three brothers longing to have simultaneous sex with the same women, well then you really need to get your hands on this very special addition to the literary canon. A one-star for nearly everything, a five-star for being a hell of a lot more fun than a trip to the circus. Today that equals a three-star. ( )