So I slept with you—big deal. I sleep with tons of people. That doesn’t mean I want you to be my boyfriend. If you’re not sure where you stand, here are a few clues that I don’t want to see you again.
• The window is open, and I’m gone.
•When leaving in the morning, instead of a hug or kiss I give you a high five.
•If you say my name more than four times and I don’t respond, chances are it’s not my real name.
•My phone number has a 555 exchange.
•You ejaculated on my face without warning, and I acted like it was no big deal.
- Chelsea Handler (page 26)