Jann describes her mother's decline into Alzheimer's disease and the death of her father in this candid memoir. While it's a heartbreaking story, Arden infuses it with an abundance of wit while showing patience, understanding and good humour. Her amiable personality and sense of fun, which she obviously shares with her mother, shines through the despair making the story heartening rather than despondent. Photos, recipes and illustrations enhance the book. Arden's talent as a writer matches that of her music making this much more than I expected.

"I started by cooking dinner for them once or twice a week. Within a month, they were coming arm in arm across the driveway towards my house almost every evening, chattering away like two old birds chirping on a wire. If Dad had had his way, he would have been on my doorstep by three." ( )

subtitled: Comfort and Laughter in the Kitchen as My Mom Lives With Memory Loss.

Canadian singer/songwriter Jann Arden writes of this turning point in her life, as she unexpectedly became the chief caregiver for her parents. Her father had dementia along with a host of other physical illnesses (diabetes, heart attack, stroke) and eventually passed away. Her mom has Alzheimer's. Jann is eloquent, candid, brutally honest (and funny) as only she can be, as she chronicles her journey into unknown territory with her parents, especially her mom. As a writer, she structured this book as a diary/journal over a 2-year period (2014- 2016) and not only provided snapshots of living with her mom's memory loss, but also some real insights into the journey she herself was making, as she tried to come to terms with it all. And she does so with grace, honesty and strength.

Her parents' home is on her property so that they were only across the driveway from her, making it easier for her to be able to provide care at close range, at the beginning. She began to cook for them, a real comfort for all of them, and this book also includes some of her favourite recipes. The book, by the way, is visually beautiful; Jann's photography throughout is quite stunning. The food illustrations that accompany the recipes are also lovely.

Alzheimer's is a terrible disease. Often, though, as Jann says, the patient herself is not sad about it, is often (blessedly?) unaware of the losses. It's a disease that, in fact, affects everyone else around the patient. Jann shares how she ran the gamut of emotions - denial, fear, anger, frustration, strength - and some of her passages are quite revealing. Once, she took her mom on a German river cruise:

"The German river cruise with my mother was a gift, although she thought we were on a train trip. Since we could see the shore blur past us, I guess she assumed we were rolling along on tracks. I corrected her once and then caught myself when she was talking about it again: why do I need to tell her where she is and what she is on? I have to stop being the memory police, stop needing to be right all the time. It's exhausting and completely selfish."

Jann had had a difficult relationship with her dad. When he was dying, in hospital, she wrote:

"The man I used to be afraid of is now a meek and mild, helpless child. I was thinking about how much resentment I have been carrying around and how much I don't want to still be carrying it. I want to let it go. Maybe today I'll start. I dragged it with me because I thought I needed it to protect myself. Silly what our hearts and minds do to us."

Through it all, Jann continued to work, to write:

"...music and how fantastic it is for the soul. Music saves me every day."

She talks about how unpredictable day to day life can be. What will her mom remember (or not remember) today? There are mood swings:

"She looks at me with such hatred that it takes my breath away. And then it passes, and I see her bubble to the surface of herself again and I wonder how my life got to this place...And yet, we fall into so much laughter, feel so much insane gladness and it teaches me constantly. It makes me stronger and humbler and more empathetic and caring and kind. At least, I hope it does. It's just life being life and you've got to embrace it all with your heart pounding away on your sleeve and a smile on your face...and don't forget to cry, because that'll get you through anything."

"I'm trying to focus on what I have, and not what I don't have." ( )

This book is one part memoir, one part recipe, one part photo album and it comes out as a lovely tribute Jann Arden's mother and father. It is an honest, humerus life affirming account of grief, coping, remembrance and resilience. I connected very closely with Jann's writing- have always enjoyed her music and have great respect for her courage in writing this very personal account. She gave words to many of the feelings I experienced as I watched my own parents struggle with the diminishments and humiliations aging handed them as an exit gift. Reading Arden's work also reminded me that they handed me their own parting gifts of grace, acceptance, rage and love. The book is a keeper. ( )