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Between Them: Remembering My Parents (2017)

par Richard Ford

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2991287,855 (3.77)9
A stirring narrative of memory and parental love, Richard Ford tells of his mother, Edna, a feisty Catholic girl with a difficult past, and his father, Parker, a sweet-natured soft-spoken traveling salesman, both born at the turn of the twentieth century in rural Arkansas. For Ford, the questions of what his parents dreamed of and how they loved each other and him became a striking portrait of American life in the mid-century. With his celebrated candor, wit, and intelligence, the award-winning storyteller and creator of the iconic Frank Bascombe delivers an unforgettable exploration of memory, intimacy, and love.--… (plus d'informations)
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» Voir aussi les 9 mentions

Anglais (9)  Allemand (1)  Suédois (1)  Espagnol (1)  Toutes les langues (12)
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What this memoir really made me want to do is read something else by Richard Ford. The guy can write. In fact, my overall impression of the entire book is that he could write a gripping tale about a person lying on a couch watching television.

Because his parents, about whom he writes lovingly, are just not that interesting. So he wrote a book about two basically pedestrian lives - that of a travelling salesman and his wife. There's really not a whole lot about Ford himself unless you read between the lines. Each parent gets a section and the beginning of each section has a lot of overlap - - as if he wrote two separate stories and then decided to combine them into one book without further editing. Which I believe is exactly what he did.

Yet, despite the structure, despite the fact that this was a pretty ordinary family, despite the fact the Ford is doing a whole lot more telling than showing (violating the cardinal rule of writing in my opinion), despite all of it - - the book is compulsively readable, and I finished it in a day and a half. Yeah, I'm a little mystified about it myself. There's just something about the rhythm of his writing and his voice that I absolutely loved. For a book that is similar to this one, but much better in every regard except the writing, I suggest [b:A Box of Darkness: The Story of a Marriage|8978483|A Box of Darkness The Story of a Marriage|Sally Ryder Brady|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1312064669s/8978483.jpg|13855545]. Meanwhile, I'm going to look for my copy of [b:Canada|12872236|Canada|Richard Ford|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1327927048s/12872236.jpg|18024855]. ( )
  Anita_Pomerantz | Mar 23, 2023 |
This is a curious book by Richard Ford, as it includes two separate memoirs, one involving his mother, and the other his father, written thirty years apart. As often happens with Ford’s writing, I found myself captivated by his words. His folks got married in 1938, and his father worked as a traveling salesman for Faultless Starch. They lived on the road, as they traveled throughout the Southwest, and they had a great time together. It wasn’t until 1944—sixteen years after their wedding—that their only child, Richard, was born. Once he reached school age, that ended the family traveling the roads together.

There are interesting aspects in both their stories, but Ford never claims that they were exceptional people, but still well represented the country in the 1940s, 50s, and 60s. Because they had so much time alone together, it impressed me as to how little Ford knew about what their relationship was really like, or much of anything else about them together. I loved the fact that he could write about them separately so clearly, but always made it abundantly clear that the most important part of their lives was the relationship between the two of them. In the writing, there was never any signs that Richard’s nose was out of joint, because it was always clear that they both loved him, just that his mom and dad were always a couple first. His dad was always good with people and thus was a successful salesman. His dad died from a weak heart many years before cancer finally killed his mom.

Though much of my personal reading is around and through death, his mother dying from cancer was tough for me to read. The times and the unspectacular nature of these two people was such a refreshing take on the memoir form, as he makes no attempt to make his parents more special than they actually were. I would reread this in an instant. I would have loved to have put this book (by one of our very favorite writers) into my late wife’s hands, because I’m sure that she would have loved it as well. My life alone is sad in many ways, but not being able to share what was the love of our lives—books—is one very painful feature in my life of mourning.

It makes me wonder what it was like for Ford to never make his parents any bigger than they were in real life. It would be interesting enough to write about your own folks, close family that you loved, but to then never embellish their character or history—seems almost irresistible. Curious, curious, curious. ( )
  jphamilton | May 25, 2021 |
Wenig ist uns so vertraut und so fremd wie das Leben der eigenen Eltern

Mit 17 Jahren verliebt sich Edna Akin aus Arkansas in Parker Ford, einen Jungen vom Land mit den durchscheinend hellblauen Ford-Augen. Sie heiraten und beginnen ein Nomadenleben in den Südstaaten Amerikas – Parker arbeitet als Handlungsreisender. Sie genießen es, der Enge ihrer Herkunft entkommen zu sein. Die Geborgenheit, die es in ihrer Welt, dem Amerika der frühen Ford-Romane, nicht gibt, finden sie beieinander. Dann kommt ein einziges spätes Kind zur Welt – und alles ändert sich.
  Fredo68 | Dec 11, 2020 |
How well do we really know our parents? That's the question this book attempts to answer. Often we know about them, but don't know their inner life: motivations, intentions, dreams, goals. Richard Ford explains his memoir Between Them as a reminder “….that I was one person raised by two very different people, each with a separate perspective to impress upon me, each trying to act in concert with each other, and each of whose eyes I tried to see the world through.” In short, a balancing act, which is in part a reference to the title, but also a nod to the fact that he was their only child born fifteen years into their marriage, when they already had established a life without him. The book is uniquely divided into two parts, one that focuses on his father, Parker Ford and one that recalls his mother, Edna Ford, and he actually wrote the halves 30 years apart from each other. This is an eloquent, impressionistic account of his memories of them – he isn’t seeking to chronicle dates or a family history. Rather he wants to honor their simple lives and ultimately come to know himself better. They married in 1928 in Arkansas and weathered the Depression and WWII. He was a traveling salesman for Faultless Starch covering a vast southern territory and she traveled along with him, until Richard was born in 1944 and they put down roots in Jackson, MS. Just hearing the period details is enthralling, especially since they only linger in the past. Ford had more time with his mother and that colored their relationship differently than the one he had with his father. Between Them is a beautiful book that makes us consider the memories, comments, interactions and love that shapes us. ( )
1 voter CarrieWuj | Oct 24, 2020 |
Biografi över föräldrarna, skrivna med 30 års mellanrum. ( )
  Humila | Sep 10, 2019 |
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A stirring narrative of memory and parental love, Richard Ford tells of his mother, Edna, a feisty Catholic girl with a difficult past, and his father, Parker, a sweet-natured soft-spoken traveling salesman, both born at the turn of the twentieth century in rural Arkansas. For Ford, the questions of what his parents dreamed of and how they loved each other and him became a striking portrait of American life in the mid-century. With his celebrated candor, wit, and intelligence, the award-winning storyteller and creator of the iconic Frank Bascombe delivers an unforgettable exploration of memory, intimacy, and love.--

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