I loved that Ramona talked about her sexuality being fluid and how one label didn't necessarily define her. I loved that she felt like she should hide the fact that she was into a guy because she had had such a struggle with people (like her mother) coming to terms with her being a lesbian that she didn't want them to think it was just a phase and that she was making a big deal over nothing. This is SUCH a real experience. People identify as one thing, and then go a bit outside the bounds of that label, and other people invalidate them and tell them they're wrong about themselves. So I super appreciated reading about that.

I loved that I didn't read the synopsis because I would have found it eye-rolling-ly predictable if I had. I loved that she's queer in Mississippi. I loved that this wasn't really a romance, it was a book about sisters and dealing with finding your own life while wanting to stand up for someone you love. And I loved one scene that talks about the privilege us white people have of assuming safety in certain situations, as well as how it was handled.

But this was my least favourite of Murphy's books I've read. It was a lot slower. I picked up and read several other books while reading this. There wasn't enough conflict for me to really be invested, and while I really liked Ramona, I felt like I could close the book and she'd still be happy. ( )

Ramona works two part-time jobs, is a high school senior, and is struggling in love. The girl she fell for over the summer has gone back home with her family and there aren't many other romantic prospects in her small town. When an old friend moves back to town and they rekindle their childhood friendship, Ramona begins to question her sexuality. So sure of who she thought she was and who she was attracted to, Ramona finds herself wondering what term she should use now, or if a redefinition of her sexuality is even necessary.

I've read a lot of reviews that bash this book because they were upset with Ramona, who describes herself as a lesbian, beginning a relationship with a boy. I didn't understand the issue. Throughout the book, Ramona is so confused by her own feelings, wondering if should change how she identifies. Should she start saying she is bisexual? Pan? Queer? Does she really need a new word?

I think it's an important story to tell of a young woman who is allowed to define and explore her sexuality any way she sees fit. And maybe she doesn't see the need for a specific word. Ramona doesn't ever "turn straight." She doesn't deny her attraction to women, and she shouldn't have to qualify her sexuality to anyone. ( )

This book's review is a bit scary for me, as I feel a bit vulnerable when I compare it to my own experiences. I think it's so important that conversations like this have been allowed by the doors this book has opened but it's sensitive to all. Be aware and be kind.



*Reviews and more can be found on my blog Love at First Write*

I was given a copy of this book by HarperTeen in exchange for honest review.



The first half of this book was absolutely great for me. The spaghetti-o’s were cute, Grace was cute, the summer fling was cute. Ramona’s problems with Grace’s confusion and reservations was emotional and powerful. Ramona’s mother was disheartening, but real. Even Hattie’s struggle, which is not relatable to me in the slightest, still felt relatable. It was when the self-declared lesbian kissed a guy that I became super scared about the rest of the novel. I’d heard so many good things about this book, I was really looking forward to it. How could people not warn me about a lesbian finding the guy to “turn her straight”?

As a confused sexuality-fluid female myself, I was super worried about where this twist was going. Is the author going to make this one boy invalidate all of Ramona’s past relationships with girls? I didn’t think I’d make it through a book about that. Maybe Ramona was Bi? Fortunately for me, Julie Murphy emphasized Ramona’s love for this person because of the person and everything they mean to her, not really taking gender into account. This then left me wondering if Ramona was Pansexual or Demisexual. What was super powerful for me was Ramona’s internal struggle with sexuality. Did her love for this guy mean that she liked guys? Or was it just this specific guy? And every time she kissed him, she said she felt like she was betraying her old identity. Death by a thousand cuts to the Ramona who thought she had it all figured out in high school being a lesbian in Mississippi. I can’t count how many times the same thoughts have gone through my head. I’m a cis female, dating a cis male, that is probably seen as a heterosexual relationship to everyone. If it’s not visible does it even count? Does this mean I am queer enough for LGBTQ clubs, safe spaces, pride marches etc.? It can feel like people feel like I’m an intruder, which of course makes everything even more confusing. This is what saved the book for me. Ramona doesn’t label her sexuality by the end of the book. She hasn’t figured herself out yet and maybe she never will, but the point is that the pressure to have a label has been removed. And maybe it will help fellow confused queers not feel pressured to label themselves as well.

What brought this book down the stars is how long it took Ramona to be her own person. The whole book is spent following her sister Hattie around, picking up the pieces and trying to keep things together. While I can respect that, every single person in her life tells her that that’s not the destiny that’s set in stone for her. The future is still up to her and she could go to college after graduation if she really worked for it. While money is obviously an issue, it saddened me to watch Ramona counter everyone supporting her, and shut down any possible future that wasn’t staying in Eulogy, working 3 jobs, and living with her sister in the trailer park. In life, you really only need one person supporting you: yourself. Ramona didn’t even have that which made the book really hard to get through for me. I could only end up reading a couple chapters at a time because of this mental block Ramona has.

I thought this book was going to disappoint me, but it ended up pulling through. The ending was comfortingly bittersweet. I can appreciate how Ramona is going to figure out her sexuality, her career, her relationships etc. as she goes along. She’s finally come to accept that the future isn’t set in stone and that she has a life to live- a super important message. Honestly, if Ramona wasn’t her own worst enemy, and if the writing didn’t originally indicate that this guy was going to ‘turn Ramona straight’ as her mother had hoped, it definitely would’ve gotten a better rating. While the payoff was worth it, the author put me through a lot to get there. ( )

teen fiction (LGBTQA high school seniors in small coastal Mississippi town; diversity in ethnicity, family types, sexuality, socioeconomic backgrounds). This was mostly a win just for the sake of representing diversity but I also liked the characters, once I got to know them--the story does take a little while to hook you in. Parental note: there is drinking and sex (with a message emphasizing responsibility), and an unplanned pregnancy. ( )

I would give this book ten stars if I could, I loved it so much.

First, let me acknowledge the scuttlebutt that's been going around about this book, about how it's "lesbian erasure" because Ramona's only gay until she finds "the right man". That's bullshit, and is probably espoused only by people who haven't actually read the book, because that VERY THING is addressed WITHIN THE NARRATIVE ITSELF. Ramona's mother thinks her lesbianism is "just a phase" and she's delighted when Freddie comes along. Ramona herself is worried, briefly, that she's somehow changed, that she's been living a lie, then realizes that, nope, she still likes girls. At the end of the book she says that she doesn't really know what to call herself, but she's not too concerned about it. And I think that's ok.

When I first read the description, I thought it would be the kind of story where the MC is the only "good" person in her white trash family. But, happily, I was wrong. Ramona's dad and sister are awesome and the three of them love each other deeply. They've just had some rough times. A "there but for the grace of God go I" situation. Even Ramona's mom, who is the least likable character in the book, has some redeeming qualities. Ramona doesn't excuse her mom's behavior, but she accepts it as being who her mom is.

The supporting characters were all fantastic, and I felt like we got to know all of them a little bit. I want to be Agnes when I grow up.

I listened to the audiobook, and the narrator was fantastic. She really brought the story and the characters to life. I highly recommend listening to it if you have the opportunity (and enjoy audiobooks). ( )